A Definitive Ranking of the Best Waffle House Dishes

Price: $5

One of the best things to happen to Waffle House was their $5 menu rollout, which came into effect a few years back. The value meal makes every decision so easy when it's 2am and you've had a few too many rum and Cokes to make sound choices. One of these items worth your time and cash is the grits, sausage, egg, and biscuit combo. The sausage and egg are all mixed in together with the grits in a bowl, served with a biscuit on the side. If you’re looking for the king of biscuits, you'll want to go to Bojangles, but that's another story. The ones at Waffle House are still praise-worthy, both flaky and buttery. The light spice of the sausage adds a kick to the grits, and you can always clean the bowl by sopping up the remains with the biscuit. It’s like a breakfast cypher minus the Timbs. 

Price: $2

At some point in your life, you will get into a drunken argument with a person over the pronunciation of the word “pecan.” The beauty of that is you can take your drunken debate to Waffle House and enjoy a slice during the throes of your debate. *Inception theme* The pies at Waffle House don’t suffer from the same sogginess that others do, and taste justifiably fresh. After devouring waffles and syrup, it can be hard to rationalize eating a pecan pie, so either save it for the late-night run, or just order it to-go. 

Price: $1.80

A 24-hour spot needs strong coffee if its worth its salt, and Waffle House has that in spades. I don’t know what it is about their brew, but people go crazy for it. It’s strong and gets you going in the morning or late at night when you need a boost to get you home when you're dead tired. Coffee is just part of the Waffle House aesthetic, embedded into its lore. If you don’t have a cup, then why are you even there?

Price: $6.45

I generally leave my omelet consumption to IHOP because IHOP seems like a classier establishment, but in this case you should give Waffle House a chance. Don’t let the name fool you—there's no provolone like there is in the Philly sandwich; it's just American cheese and cubs of steak stuffed in soft, fluffy eggs. (Pro tip: ask for extra cheese.) Get a biscuit or a few slices of toast on the side and you can go to work. 

Price: $3

There was a time when I refused to eat pork, and it was during that phase that I stumbled upon the unheralded grilled chicken biscuit. Look, you can’t go wrong with a biscuit sandwich at Waffle House, even if it's something as tame as grilled chicken. The bird is well seasoned, and no, you can't get it fried, so don't bother asking.  

Price: $1.95

I won’t hop into the timeless debate over sugar vs. butter in grits, but regardless of your preference, Waffle House's are top of the line. Grits can either be too soupy or, as is most often the case in restaurants, too stiff. The art of making perfect grit is harder than it looks. Which means you should appreciate the consistency of Waffle House grits. (In fact, before I was into their hash browns, I would sub in grits and go to town.) Let it be known: a Waffle House plate is incomplete without grits.

Price: $8.30

No, that’s not your auntie behind the counter cooking up pork chops, but the aroma of the ones you'll find in Waffle House will make you do a double take to make sure. Waffle House pork chops are as good as any other place around, and that's no exaggeration. I judge the meats at Waffle House by how they mesh with an egg and a biscuit, and a pork chop biscuit is an low-key gem. The light sauce that the chop leaves on the plate is a little treasure trove that's perfect for sopping up with the eggs. 

Price: $3

Have you seen liquefied crack? Well Waffle House makes it in the creamy white goodness that is their sausage gravy. If you catch the right Waffle House, you’ll get a well-seasoned sauce. If not, you might end up with something more bland than you’d like, but more often than not, the gravy is what you want in life. They're generous with the gravy waterfall, but don't let them sit in it too long lest you want soggy biscuits. 

Price: $3.60

I’m a sucker for a greasy hamburger, and the Waffle House cheeseburger, specifically the ones served during late-night hours, is one of my favorites. Admittedly the placement of the burger at the seven slot is a bit of a high-risk, high-reward situation—especially at an establishment that built a reputation off its breakfast items. But I typically find that it's worth the gamble for the seared thin patties. Maybe they’re actually better late at night, or maybe it's best after half a dozen rum and cokes. I’m not quite sure. I’ve never run a control experiment. (Pro tip: Instead of fries you can order some sloppy hash browns and you have the ultimate meal.)

Price: $3.55

The waffle at Waffle House is a beloved American tradition—when you name your business after a single item, it better live up to its name. But here's some advice: don’t sleep on the pecan version. There’s obviously added crunch, but the hint of vanilla is where the magic happens. It's also damn near a dessert, so you can cheat your way into sweets with your breakfast. Two birds with one stone. 

Price: $4.65

One important principle to live by is "there’s no such thing as too much butter," and Waffle House certainly abides by that philosophy. Their Texas toast is doused in butter, which does no harm to the sausage that's sandwiched in between it. The sausage fits perfectly into the Texas toast like Rae Sremmurd fits with Mike Will—there’s just enough so that there's no overhang, but doesn't get overshadowed by the bread either. While the biscuits at Waffle House are A+, the Texas toast just takes the sandwich up an extra notch. 

Price: $4.65

The bacon cheesesteak melt is great because of its versatility: it can serve as breakfast sandwich or a lunch sandwich. Add bacon to the cheesesteak formula and you have one of the strongest options for a drunken recovery. One insider's move I'd suggest is grabbing a couple of jelly packets to spread onto the sandwich. While the sausage, egg, and cheese melt at #5 is solid, there’s just something about the gluttonous combo of bacon and steak that is undeniably fulfilling. The two pickle rounds on the side may look like decoration, but you'd be smart to put them in your sandwich. Pair with the hash browns and you’ll need a forklift to help you leave. 

Price: $10.90

While it may be a risk at other chains to order a steak, don’t scoff at the Waffle House T-bone. Waffle Houses make about four T-bone steaks a minute, and the franchise serves more steaks than any other place in the world. For about ten bucks you get a sizeable T-bone, eggs, and a biscuit, which gives you the opportunity to create a makeshift biscuit sandwich and still have food to spare.  

Price: $2.85

Waffle House—much like the city that made it famous—has its own language, especially when it comes to hash brown nicknames. You can get them with onions ("smothered"), cheese ("covered"), ham ("chunked"), and a handful of other combinations. The best combination is “covered” (cheese) and “topped” (drowned in Waffle House’s world-famous Bert’s chili, a flavorful, moderately spicy, bean topping that you can also just order in a bowl and be just as satisfied). It’s messy but you still get enough crunch from the hash brown under the chili and cheese. 

Price: $7.10

The All-Star breakfast—consisting of a huge waffle, hash browns any style (or grits), two eggs, and a choice of breakfast meat, is the perfect Waffle House dish, as it serves two kinds of regulars: the drunk customer who desperately needs a mound of food, and the parent who orders it for his two kids to share in order to save money. The best part about ordering this special is that the food is delivered in waves: they bring three plates, as if it were coursed out, making you feel like an emperor.

There are so many combinations within the All-Star breakfast to get freaky with. You can eat your breakfast meat with your waffle whilst using your toast to sop up the chili and cheese on your hash brown. Or you can put the eggs and breakfast meat in the toast, have a breakfast sandwich, and still have a waffle and hash browns on the side. It’s like a Kama Sutra of breakfast platters—so many options, and all of them will make you sweat with joy.

And get this: the whole meal, added hash brown toppings and all, won’t run you any more than $10. It’s the only good decision you’re likely to make at 3am.