Last week, rumors of a bacon shortage brought out portmanteaus—aporkalypse, baconmageddon, to name a few—more questionable than ones spun by Bravo Network to promote their Real Housewives franchise. This latest edition of First World Problems was brought to us by the National Pig Association.

In classic marketing jiu-jitsu, the UK-based collective warned customers to buy bacon affixed with a red tractor seal in order to avoid a bacon shortage, arguing (in so many words) that keeping Britain’s pig farmers in business would help to keep the sanctity of the full English breakfast intact.

But the misleading title of the press release (“Europe’s pork and bacon supply is contracting fast”) led to many a sarcastic tweet and blog entry speculating on the possibility of a world without delicious cured pork products. Slate and American Farm Bureau Federation were among those to separate fact from fiction. Turns out you probably won’t have trouble continuing your all-bacon-everything eating habits, but you’ll probably have to shell out a little more for the indulgence.

The silver lining of all this hoopla is that, along with fodder for Stephen Colbert, TLC can now add bacon collectors to the list of hoarder types they can exploit document for our viewing pleasure.

[via Time]