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Yes. This is happening. Jay Z and Beyonce have decided to go vegan for the next 22 days (i.e. Christmas) because an unnamed “good friend” (WHO IS OBVIOUSLY IN THE ILLUMINATI) challenged them to do it and so here we are posting about it at 9PM on a Tuesday night. 2013, right?

Jay posted this to his Life + Times website and, well, we’ll just leave this here:

Psychologists have said it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. On the 22nd day, you’ve found the way.

On December 3rd, one day before my 44th birthday I will embark on a 22 Days challenge to go completely vegan, or as I prefer to call it, plant-based!! This all began a few months back when a good friend and vegan challenged me to embrace a “plant-based breakfast” everyday. It was surprisingly easier on me than I thought…

Why now? There’s something spiritual to me about it being my 44th birthday and the serendipity behind the number of days in this challenge; 22 (2+2=4) coupled with the fact that the challenge ends on Christmas day…It just feels right!

So you can call it a spiritual and physical cleanse. I will post my progress… Any professional vegans out there that have any great food spots please help out! Please ha. I don’t know what happens after Christmas. A semi-vegan, a full plant-based diet? Or just a spiritual and physical challenge? We’ll see…

Best of luck and health!

P.S. B is also joining me.

I will let my friend Marco explain the benefits of a plant based diet here.

As if your vegan friends aren’t smug enough, now this. Couldn’t Jay and Bey just go with VB6 and leave it at that? No, because the Illuminati wants you to eat their shitty Illuminati bars filled with “plant proteins” (AKA SOYLENT GREEN), is why. Obviously we will have a lot more to say about this tomorrow and probably will have to photoshop Jay with a bunch a kale, too. In the meantime, we’ll just leave you with this:

Funny because it’s true. Also, Jay’s an investor in The Spotted Pig. And you’re as likely to find a vegan dish on an April Bloomfield menu as you are a human being with discerning taste who counts Magna Carta Holy Grail among the best rap albums of the year. Which, come to think of it, is very much the kale of Jay Z albums anyway.

This is all very fitting.

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