Chrissy Teigen, the Internet’s favorite supermodel-turnt-Twitter rabble-rouser, has poked at a lot of viper’s nests—the Ariana Grande tween fan mafia, Instagram knuckle-draggers who comment on her weight, Chris Brown stans, Amanda Bynes, et al. But yesterday she took on her most fearsome foe yet: people who love Nutella.
People who love Nutella are all around you. They line up in droves to drag their fingers through the giant frosting tub that is the Eataly Nutella Bar. They cook everything with Nutella. In short, they are part of the reason why Nutella makes so much Nutella, there is a hazelnut shortage.
But Teigen is no Nutella sheep. She tweeted:
i'll say it: nutella is stupid
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 30, 2014
After a lot of passionate responses, ranging from the asshole-ish (“can’t get the jar open, huh?”) to the distraught (“STAHP CHRISSY STAHP”), she proceeded to offer some examples of foods that are better than Nutella.
leaving a chocolate bar in a hot car > nutella
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 30, 2014
bush's baked beans > nutella
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 30, 2014
dried squid in asian movie theaters > nutella
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 30, 2014
She then got a bit meta about the Nutella hype machine:
you like the idea of nutella
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 30, 2014
And, in case you missed the point, she made her stance on Nutella crystal-clear:
nutella is shit
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 30, 2014
fuck nutella!
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 30, 2014
Finally, Teigen spawned the #NUTELLATRUTHERS hashtag and threw down the gauntlet to those who oppose her:
i dare you to eat speculoos/cookie butter and tell me nutella is better with a straight face i fucking dare you
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 30, 2014
Teigen makes some good points here—namely, that speculoos is insanely delicious, and that a lot of people are overly enamored with Nutella because it is vaguely foreign and slightly more classy than a tub of Betty Crocker icing, but ultimately not all that different. What she may not realize is that Nutella enthusiasts are fiends in the most Bubbles-from-The-Wire sense of the word, and no amount of tweets will ever change their minds about their chocolate-hazelnut spread of choice.
At any rate, we thank you, Chrissy, for another amusing and meaningless evening on the Twitter machine. We’ll join you in praying for future generations:
Only a few years of my life have been fucked up by social media I cannot IMAGINE those younger than me
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 30, 2014
[via Twitter/@chrissyteigen]