It’s common knowledge that pizza is the most popular drunk food in the country, providing the perfect balance of cheese, grease, and tomato sauce needed to soak up all that liquor after hours of boozing. But when someone tries to use a slice of ‘za as a form of identification to get into a bar, it’s probably time to call it a night all together and just go home.
Unfortunately, an unidentified woman living in Northampton, Massachusetts didn’t heed this warning last Thursday a the Monkey Bar on North Pleasant Street, and wound up in handcuffs. Though a slice of pizza literally looks nothing like an I.D.—providing absolutely no information about a person other than, well, what kind of pizza they like—the woman allegedly “presented” the piece of food to a bouncer in the hopes of gaining entry into his establishment, a bar described as a “massive fail,” a “monstrosity,” and “one of the trashiest bars in Amherst” on Yelp.
Around 12:16 a.m., police had been summoned to the bar when another woman was asked to show her ID to the doorman, and instead attempted to present a slice of pizza. After being informed that pizza was not a valid means of gaining entry to the establishment, the woman slapped the doorman in the face, according to police, and was issued a trespass notice to stay away from the location.
If one could use a slice of pizza to get into a bar, let’s just say our teenage years would have looked a bit different.
Correction: An earlier version of this article incorrectly identified the name of the woman arrested for slapping a doorman at the Monkey Bar.