Anthony Bourdain may be a celebrity chef in our world, but in Amy Scbumer's world, well, he's a celebrity chef with his legs crushed under a taxi. 

In a sketch on Inside Amy Schumer, the comedian poked fun at TMZ with a Patton Oswald and Tim Meadows–powered sendup of the gossip kingpins. The funniest bit of news on the fake gossip countdown? Tony Bourdain stuck under a cab while a cameraman runs up to ask him "water parks or amusement parks?!" a few times. Bourdain screams for help, to no avail. 

That all seems close enough to what might really go down in that situation, except for the cab—Bourdain would most certainly be stuck underneath an Uber in real life. You can watch the whole sketch above. 

[via Comedy Central]