Usually when the cops are called over a matter of pizza, it’s a robbery or stoned teenagers afraid they’ve eaten a fatal dose of edibles. Here’s a new one, though: One woman in Connecticut got so upset about her order that she called the police to complain—and the full audio of the absurd interaction is available for the Internet to enjoy (listen above).

As Grub Street reports, the beef started over a lack of pork. The woman had ordered a small half-cheese, half-bacon pizza from Empire Pizza in Hartford. What she got instead was a half-cheese, half-hamburger pizza. The woman wasn’t having it. She called the pizza place a few times demanding her money back, to no avail. When that failed, the woman hit up 911 to try and force the pizza place to give her a refund.

Of course, the 911 call was recorded, and you can hear the irate woman barrage the dispatcher with questions even after she is informed that her complaint is definitely not a police matter:

“So, you cannot even call them or something?”

“No, we can’t call the pizza shop.”

“And how come they can call the police? If I go over there and start asking them, they can call the police.”

“No, if you go over there, you can have an officer meet you there. But an officer’s not going to just call them and ask them to give you your money back.”

Apparently the pizza place tried to fix the situation, but the woman had already eaten half of the pie. We’re guessing it was the cheese side. Maybe she can get half her money back?

[via Grub Street]