Monkeying around just took on a whole new meaning: According to The Daily Beast, a Brazilian capuchin monkey snuck into a bar, got its hands on a bottle of rum, and then somehow grabbed a giant butchers knife and started going bananas.

The monkey lives near the bar, and employees and locals were used to seeing the animal around. That being said, none of them knew about the monkey’s affinity for booze.

“It was a bar staff oversight that ended with the monkey drinking some rum and taking the knife,” said Lt. Col. Saul Laurentino of the local fire department. The usually tame primate got hammered, grabbed the knife, and then made his way to the bar’s roof, where it started stabbing at tiles and generally acting like that asshole who’s had one too many shots of Fireball.

Local police and firefighters were reluctant to try and grab the monkey—given that it was being unpredictable and wielding a large knife—which created a bizarre standoff between human and primate. The monkey was eventually caught and relocated to a wildlife reserve, where the little fella still wasn’t pleased.

The monkey proceeded to make a mess of his new inhabitance, threatening children and causing problems to the point that he needed to be moved again. This leaves us with but one question: Does rehab for monkeys exist?

[via The Daily Beast]