Want to know how to live your best life? Just take a page from 25-year-old Josseleen Lopez’s book. According to USA Today, Lopez spent December 22 cruising around a Walmart in Florida on a motorized shopping cart, going H.A.M on snacks and drinks she found in the store. The sheriff’s office says that Lopez managed to polish off half of a bottle of wine, sushi, cinnamon rolls, a rotisserie chicken, and mini muffins for good measure before being held in the store. All in all, Lopez managed to feast on $32.36 worth of food.
I don’t have to work tomorrow. Who wants to shoot up some meth, drink wine, & eat some chicken while riding a motorized cart in a WalMart?
— Jeremy Scheuch (@jeremyscheuch) December 28, 2015
Unfortunately the G.O.A.T Walmart shopper was arrested for treating the store as an all-you-can-eat buffet. Police also found three empty syringes in her possession which Lopez says she used to shoot up with crystal meth. Lopez was apparently cognizant of her actions but just DGAF. She allegedly told a deputy: that “she was hungry and did not want to take any of the items outside of the store, but did consume everything she could while inside the store.” Lopez further added that “she knew what she was doing was wrong, however did it anyway.”
Somehow this isn’t the first, crazy drug-fueled Walmart story to emerge from the great state of Florida. Early last year, a pregnant woman was rushed to the hospital after eating steak laced with LSD that her family purchased from a local Walmart. The woman went into labor after eating the hallucinogenic meat.
[via USA Today]