Nobody likes a snitch. Snitches, after all, get stitches. But what do you do when somebody calls the cops on you, and it turns out the snitch is… yourself?

Well, that’s exactly what happened to a 22-year-old Ohio resident last Friday, who called the police and told them that he was “too high on weed.”


According to the police report, when the dispatched officer arrived, he was directed to the man’s room by his grandfather. When he walked in, he observed the thoroughly baked self-snitch “laying on the floor, in the fetal position…surrounded by a plethora of Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, and Chips Ahoy cookies.” (What, no Cheez-It love in that house?)


While this scene must have been damning enough, the man sealed his own fate by telling the officer that he “could not feel his hands.” (Maybe once he sobers up, he can try and claim that he was just really, really cold?)

Either way, that young man needs to take a long hard look in the mirror. If he keeps sparking that ganja, how is he ever gonna make anything of himself?

[via Gawker]