When a New Yorker insults Chicago’s pizza, you know it’s going to open a can of worms.

That’s what happened this morning when Chicago Reader scribe Michael Gebert used his column space to chastise J Kenji Alt-Lopez after the Serious Eats culinary director threw some shade on the Windy City’s pride and joy.

Alt-Lopez first fired shots by calling out Chicago’s deep-dish as something akin to “lasagna,” and then reared back for some more: “…without fail, each one has at least one major, glaring flaw: unseasoned dough.”

Gebert replied that the real problem is how the argument is framed:

…That’s what’s kind of weird about this discussion—it’s so weighted toward thin pizza as it exists in New York that it’s incapable of accepting that other criteria may apply to a mutant-alternate-universe-version of the same dish.


In addition to claiming that New York is really just a town full of “excellent Neapolitan pizzas,” Gebert went on to argue that Di Fara’s Sicilian sheet pizza, “by far the better of the two [pies],” is thicker, and therefore reminiscent of a Chicago-style pizza.

Alt-Lopez didn’t take too kindly to the comparison, nor did he think it abided by the rules of logic:

Sound the alarms.

While the Gebert-Alt-Lopez battle is just beginning to heat up, the Chicago vs. New York pizza rivalry is as old as Dom DeMarco himself.