Some folks take porcine-related matters very seriously—and can we blame them?

West Yorkshire police received a phone call from one such man who explained, “Me girlfriend let me cat eat me bacon.” The call operator—a very calm and patient woman—replies, “What would you like the police to do in regards to that, sir?”

At which point the potentially hammed individual mutters something inaudible. “So you want to beat up your girlfriend because the cat’s eating your bacon?,” questions the call operator. At this point in the conversation, we’re all just trying to get the facts straight.

“I want to press charges,” says the man. “Against who, your girlfriend or the cat?,” replies the operator, who is miraculously still able to function and not debilitated by laughter.cats

Turns out, the man wants to press charges against both his cat and his girlfriend. Makes sense, right?

“It’s not criminal offense if the cat eats your bacon, and we don’t arrest cats,” the call operator explains. “It’s not a 999 emergency.” (For you non-British people out there, 999 is the UK’s 911 equivalent.)

The man doesn’t sound that confused or agitated, and simply ends the call with, “Ok, thanks love.” Needless to say, we are scared for that cat and think police should follow up on the matter—that, or buy the man some new bacon before he does something foolish.

[via BroBible, Mirror]