One of the great things about Drake is how unapologetically soft he is. Amid swirling rumors about getting smacked up by Diddy at a Miami nightclub, most rappers would be peacocking on social media in the days following the incident, talking tough about how shit really went down. Instead, Drake took to Instagram in the wee hours of this morning to post of a photo of himself wearing a purple robe and eating cheese.

Having a room-service cheeseburger is a power move, no doubt. But let’s dig into the intricacies of this extremely curious caption, which makes two bold claims:

  1. If you wear a safari-style hat while eating dinner, your food will seem more exciting. Drake may have a point there, and we’ll be trying this tonight to see if our cold cuts suddenly transform into luxe slices of jamón ibérico. 
  2. Provolone and “rare brie” are more exotic than cheddar. You’re out of line there, Drizzy. To cast cheddar as a pedestrian cheese that you fantasize about turning into provolone through magical acts of haberdashery is just wrong. Provolone is pretty #basic as far as cheeses go—great for melting onto a cheesesteak, but nowhere near as complex as a mature, clothbound cheddar. It also pretty cheap, whereas cave-aged cheddars would be more in keeping with his French Laundry lifestyle.

The only thing that’s not surprising here is that Drake loves brie, the softest cheese in the game. And they don’t have no award for that…