While we fully support buying portable tandoor ovens for all of your loved ones, sometimes you need some cheaper holiday options to ensure that you don’t begin the new year with an eviction notice. For that, look no further than Lucky Peach (a.k.a., that David Chang magazine with the awesomely weird Tumblr).

LP gave us a first look at the goodies they’ve whipped up for this season, from snazzy totes, to notebooks that look like absurdist dieting books. There’s also handsome wrapping paper to compensate for “shitty” presents. Check out their descriptions of the products below, then go buy ’em right here.

Lucky Peach Super Fan Pack ($48)

Lucky Peach Fan Pack

Give the gift of Lucky Peach super fandom. This pack of fun includes every issue published in 2014, including Street Food, All You Can Eat, Seashore, and Feel the Joy, which come gift-wrapped in our Cooks & Chefs Wrapping Paper, plus a one-year subscription spanning Issues 14-17.

Lucky Peach Tote ($20)

Lucky Peach Totebag

Part-Soviet-throwback, part-ode-to-condiments, this red and yellow cotton tote bag features the Lucky Peach logo in a repeated pattern.

“I’m Drinking Lard” Mug ($8)

Lucky Peach Lard Mug

You are too, right? Let the world know!

Cooks & Chefs Wrapping Paper ($10)

Lucky Peach Wrapping Paper

Awesome wrapping paper for wrapping awesome gifts. Alternatively, awesome wrapping paper to compensate for shitty gifts. Each 18″ x 24″ sheet is printed with an illustration of busy cooks from our ninth issue, Cooks and Chefs II, by Domitille Collardey.

Diet Books ($18)

Lucky Peach Diet Books

Looking to amuse yourself or a friend? Shame a foe? Lose weight? This collection of diet notebooks will help you do all but the last of these things.

Featuring:

-Don’t Get a Burger You Fat Idiot

-17 Extremely Delicious Blowfish Recipes

-They Included Three Forks, You Ordered For One Person & Dr. Polan’s See -Food Diet (special, double-sided edition)