We are equal parts disappointed and relieved to report that the totally believable Pumpkin Spice flavored condom is not actually a thing. A rumor that had been making the social media rounds over the weekend was laid to rest yesterday.
— 90.3 AMP (@ampcalgary) September 8, 2014
We’ve heard talk that we launched a Pumpkin Spice condom. We can’t claim this one, but we do love it when people spice it up in the bedroom.
— Durex USA (@Durex_USA) September 8, 2014
But all is not lost. There are still plenty of unusual condoms out there to try, and we’re not talking about pedestrian flavors like chocolate and strawberry. Check out these wild and wacky sausage seasonings.
Now that our pumpkin spice love latte dreams have been dashed, this is the next best thing.
If you’re getting laid, your breath probably reeks of whiskey already.
Or of pot.
Photo: The Stinking Rose
Look, garlic in your food tastes great, right? Just keep an open mind.
Photo: Bacon Salt
This one is a no-brainer because everything tastes better with bacon. Bonus: It comes with bacon lube.
Durians have an off-putting scent but once you start eating them they can be really quite enjoyable. Need we say more?
Paan (a mixture of betel nuts, spices and chewing tobacco) rubbers were created for Indian sex workers who preferred the taste over chocolate, banana, and strawberry. Take that, basic bitches.