Ah Vegas, the international douche magnet where you can get married on a rollercoaster, get a champagne facial at brunch, and eat breakfast at a Guy Fieri restaurant.

Last Friday, Guy Fieri’s Vegas Kitchen & Bar began serving a “global fusion” morning menu, which gives self-loathing gambling addicts a new way to hate themselves after a night spent blowing their kid’s college fund at the blackjack table. We fully expected the peroxide porcupine’s take on the most important meal of the day to throw any sense of moderation in a chokehold, stuff it with hot sauce and bacon, wrap it in a cheesy-crust pizza, toss it in the deep fryer, and then serve it floating in a bowl of Julia Child’s tears.

Dragon’s Breath Chili Cornbread Benedict (Photo: @guyfierivegas)

But the breakfast menu is disappointingly toned down, featuring standards like maple bacon French toast, steak and eggs, chilaquiles, and a breakfast burrito. The only item with any hint of the pizzazz we’ve come to expect from the creator of Parmageddon Wings and Brutha’s Badass Caes-uh Salad is the Dragon’s Breath Chili Cornbread Benedict, a stack of poached eggs, cheese sauce, chili and cornbread. Color us underwhelmed.

(Photo: @guyfierivegas)

But just when we began to fear that Fieri had lost his flair, we discovered the Hangover Recovery Bloody Mary, a choose-your-own-adventure in cocktail ridiculousness. After picking a base liquor and heat level, customers can select five oversize garnishes including pineapple and whole jalapeños and then add a protein (an important component of any breakfast). The options are candied bacon, pepperoni, shrimp, or chicken apple sausage (for anyone who’s ever wanted a meat swizzle stick in his drink).

A Bloody Mary bowl (Photo: @guyfierivegas)

And to really get turnt up, you can order the Bloody Mary in a 52-ounce punch bowl and add a PBR or Miller Lite beer back. Just remember though: What happens in Vegas stays in your system for 30–40 hours.

Head to Eater Vegas to check out the full breakfast menu.

[via Eater]