This week in Unfortunate Moments Captured on a Cellphone Camera, we have a distressed young man groveling at the car window of his former lover, who appears to have spurned him for a new beau.
Needless to say, he is not happy with this turn of events. But rather than blasting Peter Gabriel out of a boombox in a last-ditch effort to win her back, he chooses the slightly more risky strategy of going on a curbside tirade that swings violently between moments of love and jealousy, tenderness and vitriol.
Of particularly note in this star-crossed lover’s rant is the entreaty, “You was my baby, my fucking cinnamon apple…you was always there for me.”
Cinnamon apple? To be someone’s apple cinnamon would make a little more sense—a spice mix that is warming and comforting even on the darkest days of winter. Either way, Twitter has wasted no time in meme-ifying the words of this latter-day Shakespeare.
I Wanna Be Someone's #CinnamonApple
— Kay The Ratchet (@KayAhhFool) August 28, 2014
— The Blueprint (@Bigstacks_100) August 25, 2014
— Fay™ (@Tha_Fay2) August 27, 2014
All jokes aside, calling someone your cinnamon apple seems pretty nice. Unfortunately, the meltdown takes a rapid nosedive from there, and the dude puts the nail in his own coffin when he threatens, “I got all your naked pictures. I’m posting them shits up…on Facebook!”