Back in the day, laxative brownies were the go-to delivery system for edible vengeance. But according to Gawker, a tenth grader in Bakersfield, CA took things to the next level by baking “pubic hair, semen, expired food, and pills into cupcakes” and serving them to bullies at her school.

Police say the cupcakes had a combination of mayonnaise, barbecue sauce, and soy sauce inside. However, there’s no official confirmation that they were, in fact, cumcakes. All remaining treats were destroyed before the pregnancy tests could be performed.

While the world will probably never know what was actually in those cupcakes, one question comes to mind: Where would a tenth-grade girl get enough semen and pubic hair for an entire batch of cupcakes?

Sea men

Here’s some other stuff we loved from today:

Unflinching realism muscles aside “pretty plate” food photography [via The Globe and Mail]

Why diets are ridiculous [via The Independent]

Why are food shows so bad these days? [via Esquire]

The Pizza Connection: fighting the Mafia through food [via The Salt]

The end of food [via The New Yorker]

My mom says there’s pee in your food, and other tales of disgusting food revenge [via xojane]