“The Meh List is not an outpost for inanity, glibness and trolling,” writes Willy Staley on the New York Times’ “6th Floor” blog today—a sentiment we might be semi-willing to believe if he weren’t literally defending the decision to call pizza “meh.” He’s not talking about dollar slices or Ellio’s frozen squares, mind you—he’s suggesting that pizza, in general, is a worthy target for the Internet’s most aggravatingly lazy form of virtual shoulder-shrugging.
In his argument for pizza’s alleged mehness, Staley makes one good point: That the “Internet’s constant bickering about pizza is…outsize compared to the food’s relative innocuousness.” In light of Deep-Dish Pizza-gate and de Blasio’s fork debacle, he’s correct in saying that people should just shut up and enjoy/hate pizza however they please. But in his questioning of pizza’s relevance as a topic of discussion (an argument so meta it makes us want to lie down), he makes the bizarre decision to throw some shade at its inherent value as a foodstuff (as well as New Yorkers’ passion for their home-grown pies, which apparently Staley does not really think very highly of as a dude from Northern California).
“It’s basically bread with cheese and sauce on it, and maybe some other stuff,” write Staley. “It’s like a sandwich with fewer ingredients and less topological complexity. Or maybe nachos, but more contiguous.”
Shots fired at pizza and nachos? At first, we were too incredulous to even begin to summon a counterargument. Fortunately, Odd Future rapper Earl Sweatshirt stepped in to issue the only response necessary:
@willystaley what the fuck is your problem dog
— DORIS UNSTOPPABLE (@earlxsweat) January 27, 2014
Because really, at the end of the day, why are you really even saying this, dog? Earl’s tweet is perfect, but here are some other folks who are equally displeased with the Times’ trolling of pizza lovers everywhere:
The future of media is article-length defenses of inclusion of unpopular opinions on listicles http://t.co/Ji0ehv5uh4
— Tim Carmody (@tcarmody) January 27, 2014
genuinely cannot roll my eyes back in my head as far as this garbage deserves http://t.co/S5loFFIQyR — max read (@max_read) January 27, 2014
dear NYT I am never reading your anti-pizza rag again call me when these chuckleheads get a clue http://t.co/QHwwWKtP2I — ♔ T.C. Real ♔ (@LaughingStoic) January 27, 2014
— Alison Brod PR (@AlisonBrodPR) January 25, 2014
Pizza is meh. Not a fan of bliss. I was never struck by euphoria. I tried perfection but couldn’t really get into it. Paradise? Not for me
— Feels Goodman (@hipsterboner) January 27, 2014
This is what happens when a Northern Californian talks about pizza. No good will come of it. http://t.co/H9mIOT6Zhe
— Michele Catalano (@inthefade) January 27, 2014
The @nytimes is meh.* *except Ben Ratliff, Jon Caramanica, Gail Collins and sometimes Paul Krugman. Pizza is awesome.
— Russ Bengtson (@russbengtson) January 27, 2014
— Mark Berman (@themarkberman) January 27, 2014
— rick smith (@rickricks) January 28, 2014
Food writer dismissing all pizza as meh would've infuriated me, except I always use Chrome Incognito & AdBlock+ plus to read that paper.
— G. Philip MacKenzie (@gpmack) January 28, 2014
THAT’S IT. NY TIMES IS OFFICIALLY IRRELEVANT – “Yes, We Believe That Pizza Is Meh.” – http://t.co/2IFqANOy6b
— Andrew Cybulska (@Andrew_Cybulska) January 28, 2014
A displaced Northern Californian writing about pizza? fuggedaboutit! Yes, We Believe That Pizza Is Meh http://t.co/7kSdvyusQQ
— dsarma (@dsarma) January 28, 2014
[via 6th Floor Blog/Twitter]