The week of last-minute holiday shopping hell has arrived, and like every other idiot in America, you’ve left yourself with no choice but to brave the mall. Getting everything shipped from Amazon is too risky at this point, and there’s no other place where you can find something for a five-year-old and and an 85-year-old while also getting a water massage.
Needless to say, this will not be fun. But there is one silver lining: The opportunity to shamelessly eat the classic mall foods that you avoid the rest of the year.
Of course, there may be a Cheesecake Factory or Chili’s on the grounds where you can get one of the best chain restaurant dishes in America, but this is a different mission entirely. We’re talking about quick bites you can grab inside the food court, or in between the GameStop and the Gilly Hicks. We’re talking about stress-eating on the move. We’re talking Dippin’ Dots chased with a gang of soda, and nostalgic snacks that will take you to a better place mentally, if not physically.
You know what we’re saying? Of course you do. Here are the best mall-food classics of all time.