Engineers and designers at Microsoft have recently invented a stress-detecting bra meant to curb emotionally-triggered overeating in women.
Ok, before we get into how annoying it is that this entirely un-fun bra is being developed, let’s talk about how it works. Sensors in the bra capture heart rate, respiration, skin conductance and movement, and send the data to a smartphone app. These physical changes indicate mood, which the sorry-ass stress-detecting bra-wearing woman can track to see how her emotional state corresponds with overeating.
Mary Czerwinski, the Microsoft researcher who developed the bra, is herself a female—weird, we know. Czerwinski says “it’s mostly women who are emotional overeaters,” and “The bra form-factor was ideal because it allowed us to collect EKG [activity] near the heart. We tried to do the same thing for men’s underwear but it was too far away.” Lame.
Instead of wearing this very uncool bra, how about acknowledging that you’re stressed out, and instead of instinctually grabbing for a calorie-packed donut, how about reaching for some nuts and dried fruit? Let’s try conditioning ourselves to recognize stress without a bra, because we are, after all, semi-intelligent human beings that possesses this capability.
Either way, we think the main problem with the stress-detecting bra is that it’s a huge buzzkill. You know what isn’t? Bras you can eat. Yes, bras made of bacon, candy, and fruit roll ups.
Here are some edible bras on the market as well as DIY edible bras. So next time you just can’t resist “eating your feelings,” just remember you have a tasty snack waiting for you underneath your shirt.
Candy Bra ($9.99 at Spencer’s)
Bacon Bra (sadly not for sale)
Fruit Roll Up Bra (Instructional how-to from Cultist)
Chocolate Pasties ($9.75 at Chocolate Fantasies)