All photoshops by Simon Jones

Yesterday, “news” broke that Jay Z and Beyoncé will be taking a vow of veganism from now until Christmas—all in all, 22 days of meat-free living, presumably capped off with a blowout Illuminati Feast of the Seven Fishes at the Kanye Kardashian’s house. Beyoncé is no stranger to this type of animal-product abstinence, having Master Cleansed her way to svelteness for various movie roles and album covers over the years. But for Jigga, being about that “planted-based” life is a whole new frontier.

Of course, this isn’t the first time Jay has awkwardly forayed into rich-guy things, like hanging out in art galleries with other rich people and doing dad dives into luxury pools. In fact, as he turns 44 today, we thought it might be time for him to consider remixing some of his catalog to reflect his new lifestyle. To help him out, we cooked up some cruelty-free cover art for classic Jigga albums and singles that are crying out for a Vegan Remix. Chia chia cheeeeeyaahhhhh!

Click through the gallery above to see the meat-free Hov joints we’re hoping to see this month, and be sure to join the #BlameGwyneth campaign if you’re wondering how the hell this all happened in the first place.


“You’ve been GOOP’d!”

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