Photoshops by Amy Chen

Ever since the cover for Time magazine’s November 18 issue—which purports to honor the “Gods of Food”—hit the web this week, one question has been rumbling through the food world: Why the hell are there no female “food gods”?

Eater went straight to heart of the issue, running a tough interview in which Hillary Dixler takes Time editor Howard Chua-Eoan to task for the oversight, quizzing him on why notable names like Suzanne Goin and Dominique Crenn didn’t find their way into the issue. Chef/blogger extraordinaire Amanda Cohen also had words for Chua-Eoan in a bitingly sarcastic essay about why he has failed at his job of actually knowing what’s going on in the food world. And over at Grubstreet, Sierra Tishgart compiled a lost of 10 “goddesses” who perhaps should have been included in the package.

In addition to not completely 86ing anyone without a penis from the issue, Time could have avoided this whole controversy by going the tried-and-true route of dropping multiple collector’s-edition covers in order to give some shine to some other “gods” besides David Chang, René Redzepi, and Alex Atala. Then, it wouldn’t have had to sneak-diss all the other influential groups who were overlooked—culinary rap gods, pastry chefs, and Cronut-makers, to name a few.

But since they didn’t, we made some for them.

Check out some other “food gods” who we think should have got Time covers as well—collect ’em all!

The “Goddesses of Food” edition


Barbara Lynch, Suzanne Goin, and April Bloomfield—the women who influence what (and how) you eat

The “Rap Gods” edition


Coolio, 2Chainz, and Action Bronson—the people who influence what (and how) your favorite rappers eat

The “Actual Gods of American food” edition


The fast-food overlords who influence everything in the world. Period.

The “Yung Cronut Gawds” edition


The Cronuts who influence your mom. BOOM.