In recent months, we’ve enjoyed seeing a different side of Martha Stewart than the straight-laced domestic puritan we knew growing up. She discussed smoking weed and getting hit on by Warren Buffett. She opened up about her online dating habits. She smacked a gay man’s bottom with a paddle on national TV. It all felt refreshing and fun—a 72-year-old letting her hair down. No harm, no foul.
But we’ve seen this story play out before. One minute a celebrity is being a bit cheeky and playfully breaking the fourth wall by admitting to recreational drug use in interviews, and the next minute she’s shaving her head, twerking on traffic cones, and shoplifting painkillers from Costco.
When you’re dealing with someone as famously “perfect” as Martha, it’s particularly difficult to see the writing on the wall. Which is why her most recent tweets leave me with a slightly uncertain feeling. I’d like to think it’s just New Martha being New Martha, but what if she’s actually losing it? See for yourself:
Exhibit A: The engigmatic “A” tweet
— Martha Stewart (@MarthaStewart) November 16, 2013
Yes, we all butt-tweet, but what are the chances of someone butt-tweeting the letter A and nothing else? It’s like that thing about how monkeys could write the complete works of Shakespeare if you let them pound on a keyboard from long enough. I just don’t buy it.
New York Times reporter Kim Serverson was willing to give Martha the benefit of the doubt, but booze columnist Rosie Schaap pointed out that the single-letter missive was too perfect to be a mistake:
Exhibit B: The iceberg wedge photo
Let’s be clear: This would be a horrific food photo coming from anyone, but it feels particularly egregious for someone who spent decades telling us how to make our homes into life-size dollhouses.
Dan Saltzstein, also of the Times, was understandably appalled:
As were NYT dining critic Pete Wells and Tasting Table’s Adam Sachs:
— Adam Sachs (@sachsmo) November 18, 2013
But it wasn’t just food-world elites who took note of this monstrosity. Cooking for Bae, the social-media watchdog who exposes the most horrific food porn crimes of Instagram, immortalized the misstep with a post on @cookingforbae, as well as the following tweet:
— Cooking for bae (@cookingforbae) November 18, 2013
So yes: Martha Stewart—the woman who would have once slapped your wrist for improperly laid flatware—has now made it into the Struggle Plate Hall of Fame.
This reaction says it all:
@cookingforbae Damn Martha Stewart is on Cooking for Bae. Thanksgiving is cancelled. Maybe even Christmas. . .
— ♡♡ Kytten / Cat ♡♡ (@BitterTweetKytn) November 18, 2013
Are you okay, Martha? Have you lost it, or are do you simply have zero fucks to give at this point?
A Concern Fan
UPDATE: Turns out, Martha is just generally terrible at food photos. What is there left to believe in?
UPDATE 2: Just remember that Martha is over 70 years old, so maybe we should just be impressed that she even knows how to operate a cellphone in the first place.