Welcome to “Daddy Food,” a column in which writer Shea Serrano (@SheaSerrano) explores the (often hilarious) realities of eating when you have small humans to feed as well as yourself.

My editor and I traded messages about an idea last week. What we discussed was simple: He’d offer me a list of oddly named foods and I’d have my sons, twin six-year-olds, draw what they thought of when they heard the names. I sat them at the dinner table Wednesday evening (that’s a little thing called being thematic) and explained what we were going to do.

Me: Okay, knuckleheads. So here’s what’s up: I’m going to say one or two or maybe three words to you. These will be the names of foods. What I want you to do is just draw whatever it is that you think of when I say these words. You understand? Yes or no, sir?

Boy B: Daddy?
Me: Yes, sir.
Boy B: There was poop on the floor at school by the restroom.
Me: Dude…

And then we drew. See above for what we drew and how they explained each picture.