In this clip from the upcoming restaurant documentary Spinning Plates, chef Grant Achatz talks about the toll of being a world-renowned chef, and his fear of turning any opportunity down. Three years ago, Achatz faced a devastating diagnosis of tongue cancer. “People that have stage 4 cancer, they don’t sleep four hours a night. They sleep eight, because that’s what their doctors tell them to do so that the cancer doesn’t come back. You’re sleeping four hours a night. You’re going to kill yourself again,” the chef’s wife tells him. But Achatz cannot be stopped. He says the opportunity right now is too great for him, and he believes seizing these opportunities will either help him attain his most wild fantasies, or it will kill him. “I’m not really sure which yet, but I don’t really care, because I don’t have a choice,” says the chef.

See the Spinning Plates documentary when it hits theaters in Chicago, Los Angeles, and New York on October 25th, and then further select cities in November.

[via Eater]