Have you ever wanted to read more than a thousand words on Manhattan office workers’ brand-new appreciation for salad, otherwise known as the PB and J of desk lunches? Of course you have! Which is why the New York Times has given us a totally necessary trend story whose thesis seems to be “salad is great, and chopped salads are even better.” Like many New York Times trend stories, it’s comically off the mark, with almost nothing in the way of a time hook or non-anecdotal evidence.

But like most New York Times stories, no one’s really reading it to find out what the latest trend is anyway. “Chopped Salad Has Become the Lunch of Choice in the Northeast” may be in the Dining section instead of the Styles, but it’s still the A-grade water cooler fodder we’ve come to expect from the Grey Lady. We figured we’d expedite the process and cherry-pick the best lines from the piece; like we said, the gist of it is pretty simple, so this is all you’ll need to get the most out of your Tuesday afternoon hate-reading.

  • “It has come to this: chopped salad in a drugstore.”
  • “Ordering a chopped salad is like buying a car.”
  • “Some customers stand hesitantly, paralyzed by the options and afraid to get in line.”
  • “Chopped-salad devotees tend to take a hard strong line on toppings.”
  • “Lettuce, it turns out, is a game of inches, if not millimeters. Many diners find traditional tossed salads frustrating and ill-organized.”

And there you have it. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to grab a salad for lunch, just like every other office worker for the last three decades. 

[via NY Times]