As an Australian expat living in the U.S., I am asked the same question over and over again on trips back home: “How do you handle all that American food?” Oh, y’know, I’ve just grown accustomed to starting every day with deep-fried butter spread on a bacon-wrapped Pop-Tart—helps if you wash it down with a peanut butter milkshake.

Yep, American food has a pretty crummy international reputation. Probably because you guys keep publishing listicles with headlines like, “22 American Fast Foods That Aren’t About To Apologize For Anything.” Stop doing that, maybe. But what I really want to say to my friends at home is, “Uh, have you seen some of the shit you eat?”

What no one ever writes a listicle about are the equally stupid regional dishes originating from Australia, but believe me: they exist. So I have written that listicle. I have even thrown in a special treat from New Zealand, because there is nothing more Australian than hypocritically making fun of New Zealanders.

Written by @rbbrown