We’d beĀ remiseĀ in our quest to chronicle the highs and lows of food-rap culture if we didn’t bring you this: A video in which rapper Machine Gun Kelly does a cheese and wine tasting.

To be fair, things start off pretty well as MGK sips some St. Francis cabernet sauvignon and we see that the curds come from Murray’s Cheese, one of our favorite cheese shops in NYC. We even like his impressionistic review of the first sample, a Pleasant Ridge cheese that he says “tastes like Little House on the Prairie…that grows clementines.”

Things devolve from there, however, as the Bad Boy artist draws comparisons to semen to describe a cheese’s weak aroma, switches from wine to Snapple as a palate cleanser, and declares his intention to marry a Spanish woman just for the cheese.

Oh well. Thumbs up to Kelly for at least giving it a go.

[via The Crosby Press]