You remember the favorite foods of your childhood—comforting, innocent, and likely high on processed snacks. Mine included grilled cheese, Fruit Roll-Ups, Cheetos, and Stuffed Crust pizza.

You probably also remember the first time you discovered Urban Dictionary, the online mecca for everything unwholesome and disturbing. For me, it was sometime in high school, and the subversive genius of the site seemed never-ending—after all, here was a place where language, not sexually explicit photos or gross-out videos, had the power to shock and delight.

The site’s filters let almost let anything through, and any user could rate a definition up or down based on its usefulness (a.k.a. comedic value). And while it was founded in 1999 to be a dictionary of made-up words and obscure regional street talk, what proved most perverse was what it told us about everyday language, and the way almost any word could be twisted into something related to bizarre sexual fetishes or flatulence (or both at the same time). Anything could be slang, it just took a bit of sick creativity to make it happen.

With this in mind, I had the cruel idea to type in some of my favorite kid foods (and a few others) into Urban Dictionary to see if they have fallen victim to the perversions of slanguage. What I got was an appetite-ruining, unapologetically explicit list of foods that may forever change the way I look at a crème brûlée. Brace yourself: This is the end of innocence.

Click through the gallery above to see the NSFW definitions of foodstuffs that have been corrupted by Urban Dictionary.