Move over, fish and chips: Burgers are the comfort-food sensation du jour in the London, and the competition is getting serious.

The cues taken from Americans are hard to miss. Food trucks and market stands are multiplying around the city. High-minded sourcing is touted with pride. Elevated fast food is a buzzword. It’s all happening right now, all across the city, with the requisite army of bloggers hot on the trail of the newest and the best burgers.

But hold the phone: Can a good burger really be had in London? The city, traditionally, has been an international backwater for beef in patty form. The broiled monstrosities found in English cafes, as grey and drab as the weather awaiting you when you step outside, are among the worst things you can eat anywhere in the world. After countless trips to see our family on the other side of the pond, my brother and I have learned to be wary.

To take stock of the craze sweeping the city, we recently put on our arrogant American hats (you know, these ones) and pounded the pavement to put some of London’s most hyped patties through their paces. Here’s what we found.