“Who exactly is the Michelob Ultra drinker?”

Replace Michelob with any number of brews on the market, and you can imagine this line of thought being played out in the boardrooms of countless ad agencies and strategy departments around the world. The age of lifestyle branding means that someone, somehwere, has given a huge amount of thought to that part of the Venn Diagram where Justin Timberlake fans and Bud Light Platinum drinkers meet in one funky, chugtastic dance party.

But while drinkers might not love to be pigeonholed by corporate America, that certainly doesn’t stop them from stereotyping the shit out of other people for their beverage choices. Whether you’re grabbing a Natty Light from the frat fridge or breaking out a bottle of Three Floyds Dark Lord at the local beer-nerd meetup, someone is judging you. Find out exactly what they’re thinking as we break down the ultimate guide to what your beer says about you.