From Biggie to Jay-Z to Big Pun, rap’s love affair with champagne is well-documented on wax. Even after Jigga tried to redact mentions of Cristal from his songs in order to boycott the brand, he’s continued to enjoy brands like Moët, Dom Perignon, and Armand de Brignac.
So you’ll understand why we got a little sentimental when we read Bloomberg Businessweek‘s report of a 40% drop in grape harvests due to mayhem wreaked by hail, rain, and fungus. The idea of a possible champagne drought has us reflecting on what entertainment would be like without bubbly. For one, the champagne room would be a very sad place indeed, devoid of both champagne and sex.
For now, the supplies won’t be in immediate danger of vanishing. A minimum of 15 months for champagne to mature means there is currently enough on market; plus, “there’s more than a three-year supply of champagne in producers’ vats, waiting to be bottled.” It’s the decreasing sales among the French that can have an impact on the supply flow as “France accounts for about half of global sales.”
But be warned, rappers: It’s time to start looking for the next best thing in poppin’ bottles. Prosecco? Never that. We suggest hard apple cider or bottle-fermented saisons.