The 10 Most Absurd Types of Vodka, and Dumb Cocktails to Make with Them

Make a lox cocktail with smoked salmon vodka, or a sushi-tini with wasabi vodka. What else did liquor companies think we were going to do with these bottles?

Matthew Schonfeld

In Russia and Poland, vodka is a standard part of everyday life. Early on, Eastern Europeans realized that vodka easily takes on the flavor of whatever ingredient it’s infused with, so they began infusing their vodka with a few herbs and spices, as well as various berries, lemon, and even pine extract.

Today, cash-hungry brand’s have exploited vodka’s blank-canvas quality in a most abominable manner. For decades, sickly sweet fruit-flavored vodka has been marketed to college freshmen looking for a quick shot that goes down easy without a chaser. But there are vodka flavors out there way more disturbing than passion fruit and strawberry. Wasabi vodka, whipped cream, Cinnabon vodka…the list seems to get stranger by the day.

You can scoff at these flavored vodkas, or you can embrace their kitschiness and dream up equally disgusting cocktails to make with them—which is what we’ve done here. Why not concoct a Lox Cocktail with Smoked Salmon Vodka? Or make a Sushi-tini out of wasabi-flavored vodka? The opportunities are endless when you’ve got a bottle of insane-flavored vodka in your hands.

Check out the 10 most absurd vodka flavors, as well as ideas for equally horrifying cocktails you can craft with them.

Smoked Salmon Vodka
In 2010, Alaska Distillery set out to create the most quintessentially Alaskan vodka flavor. Most unfortunately, what it came up with was Smoked Salmon Vodka, because salmon is the trademark fish of the state. Toby Foster, an Alaska Distillery partner responsible for developing the flavor, talked to the Huffington Post about his creative process: "I think there was some madness and some drunkenness involved, honestly." The vodka making process sounds particularly unappealing: The salmon is smoked, the skin removed, and then the fillets are ground up. The chunks of salmon are then placed into a large vat and mixed with highly concentrated ethanol to form a stew.
ABSURD RECIPE
"The Lox, Bagel, and Cream Cheese Cocktail"
- 2 oz Smoked Salmon Vodka
- 1 tbsp capers
- 1 oz tomato juice
- A splash of heavy cream
- Pepper to taste
Pour all ingredients over ice in a tall glass and stir well. Garnish with a bagel.
Bakon Vodka
The one foolproof way to get a product to sell is to infuse it with bacon. Everyone knows this. But Black Rock Spirits, the company behind Bakon Vodka, argues that its product is more than just another bacon-flavored gag gift. They claim to be riding the "carnivorous cocktails" trend. Yes, the minds behind Bakon Vodka are serious about their product and believe in the spirit of bacon. And if you doubt them, they've developed a lengthy list of cocktails to prove the worth of adding "bakon" vodka to your drink. Here's one actual cocktail recipe that sounds particularly gross.
ABSURD RECIPE
"Bakon Chocolate Martini"
- 2 oz Bakon Vodka
- 2 oz chocolate liqueur
- 1 oz Irish cream
- A splash of cream
Combine in a cocktail shaker and shake with ice. Strain and pour into a sugar-rimmed martini glass.
Whipped Cream and Marshmallow Vodka
These two flavors are from Pinnacle Vodka, the leading distributor of weird-ass vodka flavors. Whipped Cream Vodka took the booze world by storm when it hit shelves, baiting every college freshman to buy a bottle and store it in his or her dorm room. Pinnacle is pushing the boundaries of flavored vodka—for better or for worse.
ABSURD RECIPE
"S'mores Cocktail"
- 1 oz Marshmallow Vodka
- 1 oz Kahlua
- 1 oz chocolate liqueur
- A sprinkle of crushed up Graham Crackers
For extra S'Mores flavor, brûlée the cocktail with a blowtorch.
Wasabi Vodka
Described as a "fiery flavor" that will "creep up on your tastebuds"—by someone who claims to have gone to "Ninja school"—Oddka Vodka's wasabi flavor is sure to rattle your tongue. Many of us have enough trouble dealing with the small dab of wasabi placed on our sushi; now we're faced with an alcohol infused with the spicy Japanese horseradish. It's definitely not for everybody, but then again, neither are any of OddkaVodka's other flavors, including Salted Caramel Popcorn and Fresh Cut Grass.
ABSURD RECIPE
"The Sushi-tini"
- 1 oz rice milk
- 1½ oz Wasabi Vodka
- 1 oz Salmon Vodka
- 1 sheet toasted and muddled seaweed
Serve chilled in a martini glass. Garnish with ginger, wasabi, and a piece of sushi.
Cinnabon Vodka
This Cinnabon-flavored vodka is marketed to those who are used to binge drinking vodka so sugary, you'd guess it's fruit juice or soda before booze. Soon after the release of Cinnabon vodka, one brave Forbes writer took it upon herself to drench a Cinnabon in the vodka before eating it. She claims it "tasted like cinnamon and caramel, barely-cooked dough and cream cheese, vodka and vanilla." Soon after she coined the term cinnacrunk.
ABSURD RECIPE
"The Cinnacrunk Shot"
- 1 oz Cinnabon Vodka
- 1 oz apple cider
- 1 tbsp whipped cream
- pinch of cinnamon on top
Mix everything in a shot glass and get Cinnacrunk.
Peanut Butter and Jelly Vodka
Dutch company Van Gogh Vodka offers a 70 proof Peanut Butter and Jelly Vodka that really, truly scares us. Will Gordon, responsible for the "Eyewitness Booze Investigation" column on Serious Eats, took the PB&J vodka for a test drive. He writes, "Once your nose gets over the surprise, it settles into a more typically fruity situation. Which food descriptor do you find less odious, 'funky' or 'earthy'? It's like a version of raspberry vodka, but weird, and I like it." It's certainly an unthinkable flavor of alcohol, but perhaps worth a taste.
ABSURD RECIPE
"Peanut Butter & Jelly Daiquiri"
- 1 oz Peanut Butter and Jelly Vodka
- 4 frozen grapes
- 3 tbsp sugar
- 1 tbsp peanut butter
- ½ cup ice cubes
In a blender, combine ice, sugar, grapes, peanut butter, and PB&J Vodka. Blend until smooth. Pour into glasses and serve with a frozen grape.
Glazed Donut Vodka
We've already seen cinnamon bun-flavored vodka, so the fact that glazed donut vodka exists shouldn't be shocking. Vodka 360 also offers the following flavors: buttered popcorn, huckleberry, and double chocolate. The company says, "We've combined fresh donut flavor with a sweet glazed finish to recreate one of America's favorite sweet treats...The glazed donut as you know it...will never be the same." Shudder.
ABSURD RECIPE
"The Cop's Martini"
- 1 oz Kahlua
- 1 oz Glazed Donut Vodka
- 1 oz espresso
Mix all ingredient in a shaker and fill with ice. Shake vigorously and strain into a chilled Martini glass. Garnish with a glazed donut, and a real live cop.
Mary Jane Vodka
Colorado has officially legalized the recreational use of marijuana, and it's only a matter of time before the rest of the country follows suit (fingers crossed), so you might as well get your cannabis cocktail game tight now. Mary Jane Vodka comes from Canada's Urban Distilleries. The company warns: "Not recommended for amateur drinkers."
ABSURD RECIPE
"The Spliff Shot"
- 1 oz Mary Jane Vodka
- 1 oz Ivanabitch Tobacco-Flavored Vodka
Pour into a shot glass and chillllllll.
Fruit Loops Vodka
Yes, this is essentially just another fruity vodka flavor; although, Three Olives Distillery claims it has a shocking resemblance to the classic cereal of the same name. At this point, it's clear that adults just want to be reminded of their childhood as they get drunk. Why else would you drink PB&J, glazed donut, or Fruit Loops vodka?
ABSURD RECIPE
"Cereal and Milk Cocktail"
- 1 bowl of Fruit Loops
- Milk
- 2 oz Fruit Loops Vodka
Eat a bowl of Fruit Loops, but don't drink the milk. Add in the Fruit Loops Vodka, stir well, and sip straight out of the cereal bowl!
Electricity Vodka
Are you extreme? Are you a dare devil? Do you wish you were a contestant on Fear Factor? Well then, Electricity Vodka might just be for you. Oddka Vodka asks, "Ever wonder what a bolt of lightning tastes like?" No, can't say that we have. If your answer to that question is "yes," though, we still can't advise you to buy this vodka. Save yourself some money and eat some AAA batteries instead.
ABSURD RECIPE
"The Shocker"
- 1 oz Electricity Vodka
- 2 AAA batteries
- 1 oz lighter fluid
Serve on the rocks.

The 10 Most Absurd Types of Vodka, and Dumb Cocktails to Make with Them

Smoked Salmon Vodka

ABSURD RECIPE

Bakon Vodka

ABSURD RECIPE

Whipped Cream and Marshmallow Vodka

ABSURD RECIPE

Wasabi Vodka

ABSURD RECIPE

Cinnabon Vodka

ABSURD RECIPE

Peanut Butter and Jelly Vodka

ABSURD RECIPE

Glazed Donut Vodka

ABSURD RECIPE

Mary Jane Vodka

ABSURD RECIPE

Fruit Loops Vodka

ABSURD RECIPE

Electricity Vodka

ABSURD RECIPE

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