Drink This, Not That: Booze Upgrades, Based On Your College Preferences

Refinement doesn't mean abandoning your roots. Let us upgrade you.

Sarah Lawson

Remember college? It was just a short while ago that you were bobbing your head in time to some Top 40 jam in your favorite college bar, shoes sticking to the floor, gripping a perspiring plastic cup full of a no-name whiskey drowning in flat Sprite. That’s not to say the whiskey had no name on the label—you just didn’t know (or care) what it was. You probably conveyed your order to the bartender by saying something like “bottom shelf, please,” or “whatever’s cheapest.”

But now, safely into your twenties (or on your way out), you’ve established a deeper understanding of your preferences. After years of after-work happy hours trying to impress your boss, drunk brunches, and the free-flowing smorgasbord of brown liquors that is your Uncle Frank’s holiday party, your drank bank came to include more distinguished tastes. This evolution, along with the fact that you’re likely making more than minimum wage now, introduces a whole new genre of alcoholic nectars that include names that end in reposado and single malt. Yeah, that’s the stuff.

Still, there’s something to be said for staying true to your roots, and as lowbrow and circumstance-driven as they may have been, your college preferences still say plenty about your palate today. Do you like your booze strong and smoky? Or perhaps more fruity and light? Here’s are 8 essential booze upgrades that will help you ease those painful college memories, while still remembering where you came from.

Scotch

The college standby: Johnnie Walker Red Label The upgrade: Famous Grouse Blended Scotch Whiskey Famous Grouse has the smokiness that that you got from that Johnnie Red bottle you swigged in a fraternity basement, but with more balance and complexity, like notes of cut flowers, barley and caramel—which you obviously care about, right? In reality, you probably liked the balance of a blended Scotch, which is created by mixing whiskeys of various ages and price points to create a consistent, more budget-friendly product (as opposed to a more intense and expensive single or double malt). Instead of watering it down with crappy mixers, you can now make your Scotch go further by enjoying it on its own—or at least with a splash of water. Famous Grouse is easy-to-find and affordable, and it still gets solids marks from connoisseurs like booze historian David Wondrich. (Johnnie Walker, $22-27; Famous Grouse Blended Scotch Whiskey, $49)
Tequila

The college standby: Jose Cuervo Especial The upgrade: Don Julio Reposado You used to love the tequila-ish taste and low price of good old gold Cuervo Especial (and maybe even Jose’s premixed margarita flavors—yikes). But somewhere along the way, a compadre beat into your skull that 100% agave was better—nay, a requisite—compared to Cuervo’s measly 51%. You’re ready to move on from frozen margarita pitchers and start anew with something more substantial and well-rounded. Don Julio's soft, mellow notes of citrus and spice offer the perfect step-up. And instead of dumping your wares into some tub of store-bought marg mix, try fashioning more subtle mixers—and maybe even sipping the stuff chilled or neat. (Jose Cuervo, $20; Don Julio Reposado, $50-55)
Domestic Beer

The college standby: Busch Light The upgrade: Sixpoint Crisp Let’s not go so far as to say you liked the fizzy can of water swirled with a hint of beer substance that is Busch Light. But it did find its way into many a beer pong cup and dorm-room mini fridge of yours, so the two of you enjoyed a special bond or sorts. But now, let that affinity for crispness (and cans) lead you to a new courtship—with Sixpoint Crisp. Like most American lagers (including Busch), it derives from the classic German pilsners brought stateside by immigrants in the 19th century. But this one adds some craft-beer integrity to the equation, dialing up the hops, adding more body, and skipping the cloying sweetness. If you still like your brews refreshing and easy-going, tallboys (a.k.a. bigger beers!) of Sixpoint Crisp are your new calling card. (Busch Light, $5 for a six-pack; Sixpoint Crisp, $10 for a four-pack)
Bourbon

The college standby: Southern Comfort The upgrade: Bulleit You remember SoCo—the New Orleans liqueur posing as a bourbon, best known for pairing well with a certain citrus fruit? You probably ordered a few rounds of chilled shots by yelling “Soco and lime!” to some beleaguered bartender, or bought the premixed bottle of the stuff at a liquor store (yikes, again). Southern Comfort may not have been properly appreciated, but it’s time to put it to bed. Now, you’re ready for a proper bourbon, made in Kentucky with real corn and aged in charred American oak barrel. You’re familiar with the sweetness of Maker’s Mark—it reminds you of your beginnings. But now that you don't exclusively frequent bars where your feet stick to the ground, you want something that stands apart. Bulleit employs a higher rye content than most bourbons, adding a little spiciness to the sweetness of the corn. As a bonus, it comes in a cool bottle with raised letters, and it works exceedingly well in a Manhattan or Old-Fashioned—your new go-to cocktails, naturally. (Southern Comfort, $25-30; Bulleit Bourbon, $40-45)
Imported Beer

The college standby: Beck's The upgrade: Reissdorf Kölsch In college, you loved some good old Miller Lite, best enjoyed shotgunned, streamed into Solo cups by a trained hand on a keg trigger, or in a backyard beer pong cup. Then, like a fine wine, you aged and decided you had more exotic tastes—that, or Beck’s ad campaigns turned you on to German bier drinker. You liked holding a green bottle that screamed heritage and worldliness. But now it’s time to imbibe something with real beer-nerd cred, like Reissdorf Kölsch. You’ll like the crispness and fruity accents—plus, imagine what holding that bottle will do for your inner snob. (Beck's six-pack, $10; Reissdorf Kölsch, $5-$6 a bottle)
Whiskey Drink

The college standby: Whiskey Sprite The upgrade: Jameson and Ginger Here’s the perfect opportunity to leave behind your “whatever’s cheapest” notions when engaging with a bartender, and instead take on a new go-to phrase that's just as easy to say drunk: "Jameson and ginger." Somewhere on the road to becoming a semi-grown up, you likely found out that ginger ale has far more flavor than Sprite or Coke, which destroys any booze you put into with cloying sweetness. Ginger ale (especially a really good one, like Q Ginger) both stands up to and complements the warm notes of vanilla, spice, and sherry in Jameson, and it also works with the caramel profile of Jack Daniels, should you choose to stay stateside. (“Whiskey,” $5 always, no exceptions; Jameson, $38-$42)
Gin

The college standby: Seagram's The upgrade: Tanqueray Let’s face it. Like the rest of us, you used to like Snoop Dogg. A lot. But like Snoop Lion, gin ‘n’ juice just isn’t cutting it anymore. Luckily, a resurgence in retro cocktails has given you both the options and the sense of formality to be comfortable ordering something like a gimlet, gin martini, or a gin fizz with egg white foam (gasp!). Plus, the Tanqueray ads are super inspiring as far as becoming cool in the cocktail realm. For your induction into the knowing club, try a French 75 — with gin, Champagne, lemon juice and sugar. It’s by no means new, but anything with the option of a Champagne saucer is an automatic step up. (Seagram's, $15; Tanqueray, $25-30)
Rum Drink

The college standby: Rum and Coke The upgrade: Dark 'n' Stormy Remember Rum and Coke? Sure you do. And Kenny Chesney does, too. But he wants you to move on, and the Dark ‘n’ Stormy is your ticket. The sweet caramel notes of the rum, with the tang of lime and the pungent ginger beer, immediately immerse you in adulthood. It’s the trendy drink in Midtown Manhattan (baby steps, players), and it’s got just enough ingredients to make you seem like you know what you’re talking about. Plus, if you’re lucky, the bartender will have those tasty little pieces of candied ginger. (Captain Morgan, $17-$20; Gosling’s Rum, $22-$25)
Bonus: The Hard Lemonade Upgrade

The college standby: Mike’s Hard Lemonade The upgrade: Pimm’s Cup You used to enjoy a Mike’s Hard Lemonade or two. Stop it, yes you did. But somewhere between proudly stacking your Costco cart eight stories high and trying to hide your lone six pack under your condoms/tampons/toilet paper, you realized it’s best if you part with your favorite headache-inducing lemon soda. What can you do to slake your thirst for fizzy, fruity alcohol while also appearing worldly and accomplished? Enter the Pimm’s Cup, the quintessential drink of English garden parties made with herbal liqueur Pimm’s No. 1 (a gin-based spirit), ginger ale or lemonade, and plenty of cucumber, mint, lemon, apple, and orange slices. It has a history as a digestion-settling agent, but it can still get you into some trouble as it is essentially hard lemonade of the highest order. (Six-pack of Mike’s, $6-$8; Pimm’s Liqueur, $27-$30)

Drink This, Not That: Booze Upgrades, Based On Your College Preferences

Scotch

Tequila

Domestic Beer

Bourbon

Imported Beer

Whiskey Drink

Gin

Rum Drink

Bonus: The Hard Lemonade Upgrade

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