Psychologists have discovered four categories in which drunk people fall into: the Hemingway, the Nutty Professor, Mary Poppins, and Mr. Hyde. The study was taken by monitoring participants’ personalities before and while they were under the influence. We took it upon ourselves to illustrate each of the four types with an appropriate Drake photo.
Which drunk type—and accompanying state of Drake—best represents your inebriated self?
Personality: Do people constantly ask you if you’re “actually drunk,” when in reality you’re way past your limit? Do you consider yourself someone who handles alcohol pretty well? If so, you’re a Hemingway.
Much like the dapper author himself, a Hemingway is someone whose personality doesn’t change much once he or she is hammed. And why should it? You’re already charming and handsome as it is.
Drake song based on drunk personality: “Legend”
The Nutty Professor
Personality: The Nutty Professor is always the first to ask if you want a shot (so you’ll take one with him).
During the day, you might be a little bit more reserved and introverted—but after a few drinks, you’re the life of the party. Having a shot or two helps you unwind and forget about the huge presentation you have the next day. You can leave your problems at the door and enjoy you’re ultra-sweet dance moves, because that sixth vodka shot has you convinced you should try out for America’s Got Talent. The Telegraph notes that 20% of those surveyed fell into this category— the majority being men.
Drake song based on drunk personality: “Crew Love”
Personality: The Mary Poppins is the mom of the group. He or she will hold your hair back as you projectile vomit into the trash can, while the rest of your friends are in the back singing “F*ck Up Some Commas.”
The Mary Poppins seems like a responsible drinker who will make sure you’re safely on your way home in an Uber at the end of the night. Researchers in the Addiction Research and Theory journal found “they decrease less than average in conscientiousness, intellect, and agreeableness when intoxicated.” This drunk type is typically female.
Drake song based on drunk personality: “Hold on, We’re Going Home”
Personality: The Mr. Hyde is someone whose out for blood when tanked. They become increasingly disagreeable and typically want to pick a fight. According to the Telegraph, people of this personality type reported “a tendency of being particularly less responsible, less intellectual, and more hostile when under the influence of alcohol than they are when they are sober.”
Drake song based on drunk personality: “Worst Behavior”