Offices, for the most part, are food wastelands. The Tumblr Sad Desk Lunch is proof. Sure, there’s the arbitrary coffee-maker churning through stale beans, the fridge crammed with everybody’s lunches, and a grime-covered microwave. But we believe everyone is entitled to awesome food—especially at work. It’s clear that a mid-day happy hour, or maybe just some in-house iced coffee, makes that nine-to-five flow go by faster and less painfully.
Below, we’ve listed 10 food and drink contraptions you should demand form your employer. Because, really, a burrito vending machine isn’t that ludicrous of a request. Facebook probably has five of them.
Who: Joyride Coffee Distributors
What: Five-gallon kegs of concentrated cold brew, from roasters like Blue Bottle and Stumptown, delivered to your office on a regular basis.
Good for: Those who’d rather hit the taps than leave the office for their caffeine fix
PiePal Pizza Delivery Service
What: A push-button pizza delivery service. Turn the dial to the number of pizzas you want, push the button, and they’re delivered to your office 30 minutes later.
Good for: People who love pizza (a.k.a. everybody)
Ice Cream Bike
Who: Rock the Bike
What: Hand-cranked ice-cream makers are awesome relics, but pedal-powered ones? That’s genius. The Rock the Bike website boasts, “Crank out up to 2 gallons in only 20 minutes of casual pedaling.”
Good for: Sitting at a desk all day means you should burn some calories, then eat dessert. Or something like that. Plus, Google has one, so you need one too. (Photo: Rock the Bike)
Burrito Vending Machine
What: “The World’s First Burrito Kiosk” is essentially a burrito vending machine, with options like “vegan fajita and brown rice” and “bacon, egg, and hash brown,” plus sides like sour cream and guacamole. Use the interactive touchscreen menu and you’re 60 seconds away from tortilla-wrapped pleasure.
Good for: It’s a burrito vending machine. Its merits need no explanation.
Frozen Beer Slushie Maker
Who: Kirin Ichiban
What: The machine doesn’t produce an entire cup of frozen beer, but rather a cap of soft-serve-like “frozen beer foam” meant to top-off a glass of brew. The frozen beer-foam cap keeps your beer cold for upwards of 30 minutes.
Good for: Drinking a super-frosty beer makes sending those end-of-day emails so much more bearable.
Mellow Sous-Vide Machine
What: The countertop sous-vide machine is supposedly for home cooks, but the smartphone-controlled cooking robot is also appropriate for a high-brow office. Mellow “can make suggestions and learn to cook food to your taste”—all you have to do is seal your ingredients in a bag and submerge it in Mello’s tank of temperature-controlled water.
Good for: If you’re too lazy to cook, but motivated enough to bring in your own ingredients
Who: Good Eggs (Brooklyn, Bay Area, Los Angeles, and New Orleans)
What: More service than contraption, admittedly, this online CSA-like service brings local groceries right to you. Just think: weekly office deliveries of local, in-season produce, meals like Roberta’s wood-fired pizza, and fresh-baked bread.
Good for: An office vying for the title of “Best Office Ever”; supporting local farmers, producers, and restaurants
Mind-Reading Coffee Machine
Who: Douwe Egberts
What: The machine’s facial recognition software detects a yawn and immediately dispenses a cup of joe for the tired recipient standing in front of it.
Good for: When the work day’s been so rough that pouring a cup of coffee—or even pushing a button—seems like a lot of work.
Who: Leuven/Wonchan Lee
What: An alternative to those cardboard or plastic six-pack carries, the corporate-hipster “beer briefcase” is more frame than bag. Regardless, it lets you carry four vacuum-seeled PET bags of beer, which is all that’s important.
Good for: Feeling official because you’re carrying a briefcase (photo: Wonchan Lee)
Flatev Tortilla Maker
What: A K-Cup machine that makes fresh tortillas is both odd and cool. It’s also the most viable way to get fresh tortillas when stuck at work, unless you’re employed at a Mexican restaurant.
Good for: Think of the office taco-making possibilities
Kegerator Pro 60
Who: Dream Arcades
What: A combination of an arcade machine, with more than 140 classic games, and a beer keg. There’s three built-in taps, so you can have your beer and play Pacman, too.
Good for: The Gamer who was forced to get a day job; next-level office happy hours