You get into a hot oil fight and are severely burned. What do you do?

We’re guessing most people wouldn’t say “Apply Slurpee generously to burn wounds.” Still, that was one Oregon man’s answer.

Seemingly out of nowhere, a man burst into a 7-Eleven and started rubbing Slurpee all over himself, straight from the machine.

7-Eleven employee Charlie Bentley told the Grants Pass Daily Courier that Hawaiian Punch was the flavor in question, and that the man “got Slurpee everywhere,” which isn’t surprising—Slurpees always melt much faster than you want them to.

Meanwhile, store employees apparently helped the guy out by holding his attackers—who had previously throw hot oil at him—at bay.

A few minutes later, police arrived. Bentley told the Courier that he didn’t really know what was going on, and said of the burn victim, “I didn’t actually realize he was injured until police sat him down.”

We’re not sure if that means customers regularly give themselves Slurpee rub-downs at this location.

Grants Pass police Lt. Todd Moran told the Courier,


“The call came in as a disturbance as well, where somebody was inside covering himself with Slurpees….The investigation basically took us back to Southeast J Street, where we determined that there had been a neighbor dispute which culminated in at least two people being burned with hot oil.”


The man was later transported to a local hospital for proper, non-Slurpee burn treatment.

7-Eleven store employees have since cleaned up the sticky mess in their store, and they say they’ve actually seen weirder events go down. Lord have mercy.


[via OregonLive]