Welcome to #TheDrunkestShitEver, a weekly series where we ask bartenders the most ridiculous thing they’ve seen happen inside a bar. Unsurprisingly, these barkeeps have witnessed some pretty drunk shit, and they’d like to share their finest tales of debauchery, epicness, and idiocy with you.

Name: Steve Schneider
Bartending resume: Steve is a principal bartender at Employees Only in NYC. He’s spent the summer touring the world, promoting his documentary Hey Bartender.


stevesOne of our apprentices at Employees Only told me this story last week. There was a girl at the bar at Employees Only and he was talking to her, they were flirting, and she was getting progressively drunk. At the end of the night, he was just trying to close up and count out the money and everything. Some drunk guy came up to the drunk girl and started talking to her, and she left with him.

The next morning, our apprentice gets a text from the girl saying, “Oh my god, hey, I had a great time last night. Should I take the morning after pill?” And he had to break it to her that it wasn’t him who she slept with.

Yeah, so that happened just a few months ago, and then she came into Employee’s Only for the first time after that and she was similarly drunk and ended up causing a problem. The whole event was scary and funny at the same time. Who knows if anybody bought the girl shots—that’s probably what happened but, you know, the time came and she left the bar and decided to take any random dude home.

We always like to make sure people are safe, but if a girl choses to leave and picks up some random dude, there’s nothing we can do about it. I always want to make sure women feel safe in my bar, which we do. We make sure we watch everybody’s back and give them water, but we don’t know how drunk some people get, or how drunk some people already are.