Welcome to #TheDrunkestShitEver, a weekly series where we ask bartenders the most ridiculous thing they’ve seen happen inside a bar. Unsurprisingly, these barkeeps have witnessed some pretty drunk shit, and they’d like to share their finest tales of debauchery, epicness, and idiocy with you.
Name: Kenneth McCoy
Bartending resume: Kenneth owns The Rum House in Times Square and Ward III in TriBeCa. His father owned a bar so he grew up in the business and promptly began bartending as soon as he was legal.
WHAT IS THE DRUNKEST S**YOU’VE EVER SEEN?
This guy was at our bar, Ward III, the other night, and he just looked a little strange. He was acting a little weird. He was obviously drinking, and I think he might have been on other things. And he kept going in and out of the bathroom and, you know, whatever…that’s his own business. But he went in there at one point and was in there for a very long time—it was bordering on, like, 20 minutes. So I said, ‘Wow, I wonder if something happened to this guy in there.’ And I kept knocking on the door and I didn’t hear anything. I’d walk away and I’d come back and knock a little more. And it was probably about a half an hour before I looked at one of my partners, who was behind the bar bartending, and I said, ‘Dude, we gotta get this door open because I think something happened to the guy in there.’
We had a lock that you can only unlock from inside the bathroom. So we went downstairs and we actually got a Sawzall, which is an electronic saw, and we kept knocking on the door and we said, ‘Listen dude, we’re trying to get in. I don’t now what’s going on in there.’ So we literally sawed the lock off the door. And then we open the door and, I kid you not, this guy was standing there in the middle of the floor with no clothes on with a bottle of Axe spray in one hand and a bottle of K-Y in the other. We closed the door and we couldn’t stop laughing.
My one partner left me outside the bathroom and just told me, ‘I’m not going in there.’ So I had to go in and say to the guy, ‘What are you doing? What the fuck are you doing?’ and he was like, ‘I’m going to a party.’ ‘Okay, but like, why do you have a bottle of Axe spray and KY in your hand?’ I don’t know what the guy was doing, I finally just told him, ‘Dude you gotta get dressed. You gotta get moving.’ I still don’t know what he was doing. He got dressed and he left. He walked out. I thought that was pretty funny, and very bizarre.