Word about the Simpsons theme park, set to open at Universal Orlando this summer, has spread like wildfire. According to Eater, the park will be “a full-on Springfield replica,” which means that, “aside from the rides, it will feature actual restaurants and foods straight from The Simpsons.” Apparently, the world’s population is overjoyed at the idea of feasting on a few Krusty Burgers and washing them down with Duff Beer at Moe’s Tavern, as are we.

Now that the news has leaked, the real question everyone should be asking themselves is: Who will brew the Duff Beer for the Florida theme park?!?

We took a look at Beer Advocate and Rate Beer reviews of fake Duff products already on the market. Consensus: existing, non-licensed Duff Beer tastes like Coors and chemicals. Whoever ends up brewing duff beer for the Florida theme park will, essentially, be up against no competition at all.

Take a look at some sample reviews of bootleg Duff beers below—will the theme-park lager have what it takes to squash them once and for all?

Bootleg Duff #1
Brewed by:
 Brouwerij Haacht NV (Belgium)
Style: Pilsener
Review: “i had this one some years ago, just to collect the bottle… the beer inside was worst than the cheapest supermarket lager, but really overpriced!”—Ratebeer.com

Bootleg Duff #2
Brewed by:
Eschweger Klosterbrauerei (Germany)
Style: German Pilsener
Review: “Shared by a friend who received as a gag gift. Thanks Chris?”—Beeradvocate.com

Bootleg Duff #3
Brewed by:
J.J. Bitting Brewing Company (New Jersey)
Style: American Adjunct Lager
Review: “Well, I guess every beer goes down well while Rob Halford shouts out “all guns blazing” but I will pass the next time.”— Beeradvocate.com

Bootleg Duff #4
Brewed by:
Brauerei Nemo Namenlos (Spain)
Style: Pale Lager
Review: “Lets just be honoust on this one, homer does stupid thing, and so would i if i drank this regulary. Its just so chemical it’s GOT te be bad for you!”—Ratebeer.com

Bootleg Duff #5
Brewed by:
Duff’s Famous Wings (New York)
Style: American Amber
Review: “Yeah it was like Coors but not as watery, pretty much a no brainer beer here, an alternative lighter lager to the Canadian and American macros they have on tap. I should have went with the Sierra Nevada pale though.”— Beeradvocate.com