The 20 Most Annoying Things Servers Do at Restaurants

From aggressive upselling to hitting on your date, these are the ways that waiters drive us crazy.

Written by Chris Schonberger | |   Comments

waiter_lead

Photo: iStock

Recently, we played devil's advocate by suggesting that tipping should be abolished in the United States. But before the waiters across the band together to egg our offices, remember that we also told everyone to tip, at minimum, 20% in a cocktail bar. Point being, we have no vendetta against all the ace servers who make it a joy to eat at restaurants and drink at bars, and we will continue to tip heartily while that is still the accepted system.

What we do have a problem with, though, is being at the mercy of a waiter who undercuts everything great about going out for a meal by being a total pain in the ass. Here, we share our biggest pet peeves when dealing with restaurant staff. And for all those servers who think we're out of line, fear not—tomorrow we will have a rebuttal from a seasoned waitress who will tell us exactly why we suck so badly at being guests.

With that, let the ranting begin. Here are the 20 most annoying things servers do at restaurants.

Click to start the list

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  • http://www.facebook.com/drfos David Foster

    I’m a table jockey and I pretty much agree with everything you put up here. Just remember that in corporate soul sucking establishments, they pretty much force you to do a prepared spiel, and secret shop you randomly to see if you’re doing it when nobody’s listening. I work in a private restaurant, and never tell people my name unless they ask for it, which I consider to be a somewhat rude breaking of an unspoken rule. Sometimes when they ask me I hold out my hand and say “My name is Dave, what’s yours?” The out stretched hand invites a shake, because we’re best friends now, right?

  • Russel

    Number one is actually a requirement by most corporate owned restaurants… Why the hell would I want to tell strangers ill never see again my name?

  • Industry Expert

    1. Most restaurants make you do that, especially corporate ones. And 9/10 times if you don’t say your name, the table asks, which is even more annoying because its none of your business or you get secret shopped and fired for not doing your spiel Side note how if you needed your server quickly, ie lost track of time need check to make flight or whatever, it easier to say can you grab “Bob” instead of saying can you grab my server, which means heading to the host stand checking out table sections then finding the server (who is usually always moving around) then find out oh that not his table because another server switched with him or her. Long story short get off your high horse on that one.

    2. True touching is weird…

    3. Yeah that’s lame as shit

    4. Usually not really the servers fault, sometimes they get sat with 2 or 3 tables at the same time, and yeah chips and salsa, that works sooooo well at a $100 a head steakhouse. Here’s a tip if you want fast food go the fuck to McDonald’s other wise chill out sip your water and ask the busboy for bread, your server is doing their best, and prob is being held up by some dumb ass asking questions they could answer themselves because its on the damn menu!!

    5. Again usually forced to be done by management and if you get secret shopped and don’t its your own ass. (Maybe this article should be titled 20 things management makes servers do that’s unfair and degrading, or annoying to clientele)

    6. I hear you on this, although sometimes you grab a server while they are getting something like that already so its first come first serve, you just don’t realize because its all about you…(meanwhile its your server that screwed up by not bringing what was needed before hand)

    7. Yeah squatting is just unprofessional

    8. In a good restaurant the more $$$ spent the better the meal (usually), don’t be mad because you feel cheap. Lobster Mac IS 100x better then regular Mac and you know it. And Silver Oak IS better than Yellow Tail.

    9. One course and no drinks of course, and please by all means, taking a dining room table for drinks…weak sauce. Go to the bar this isn’t a cocktail table you jerk.

    10. Yup asking about change is lame.

    11. Specials and price…yup should go w/o saying.

    12. More often then not its hard to tell when some is politely leaving a few bites not to look like a pig are slowly eating one bite every 10 minutes. What kind of pussy doesn’t say no I’m not done here, and shame on the server if the reach before asking. Getting annoyed by this is your own fault though.

    13. So true the server should keep it professional and their day out of the convo, but here’s the kicker so should the customer, especially during busy times. The reason you might be waiting for your cocktail or have your order taking is because some ass at another table has your server imprisoned by inane convo.

    14. Nothing is more professional than owning your own mistake, but sometimes the kitchen does screw up, and sometimes the printers go on the fritz, and sometimes the server just forgot. Sometimes they’re telling the truth…so don’t just assume!

    15. Messing up pepper and parm service, well no excuse here, its not freaking rocket science, but maybe its just karma catching up for the time you made the server grind pepper for 10 minutes because you like a spicy salad.

    16. Messages on checks, yup that’s just horrible…unless of course its Denny’s then who cares.

    17. Who would do that, its all bout the $$$ and hitting on the date well that usually means no $$$. However, tables that flirt, especially the drunk ass cougars, with the servers is out of line too. I’m not a piece of meat, your husbands right there, and he’s probably paying, so relax on the dirty martinis because when you whisper that dirty something, something in my ear all I can smell is blue cheese olives and its disgusting!!

    18. Again the napkin thing is usually ordered by management. I don’t want to touch your soiled snot rag either, but I must or risk losing my job. Who knows you could have wiped herpes, the flu, and TB all over that thing. So piss off with this complaint.

    19. Really!?!? “Another” bothers you? Here’s what bothers us. The one table a day that bitches to our boss because we said “more” and thinks I tried to swindle them. Because of this we learn its easier to be perfectly clear rather than deal with the a for mentioned cheapskate. The person who bitches about this needs some joy in their life!!!

    20. Well no one likes to be abandoned…

    But, its customers like you that don’t get it and have never been in those shoes that make me say thank the lord I’ll never have to hoof tables ever again.

    • Tom

      Fucking amen! Well said, sir.

      Whoever the hipster is that wrote this shit is the person that would complain if the server handed them the parm and cheese grater and asked them to do it themselves…or the pepper mill.

      • fed up server!

        Couldn’t have said it better myself! Thank you!

    • http://www.facebook.com/djderek D.j. Derek Johns

      re: 7. Yeah squatting is just unprofessional

      Most of the “cool & family friendly” restaurants tell their servers to do this to get down to the customer’s eye level, showing that they are paying attention and taking the order seriously. If professional is such a priority, then you shouldn’t be eating at Applebee’s/TGIFRidays/Ruby Tuesday’s/O’Charley’s , or for that matter, ANYwhere with a “kids menu”.

  • L.L.

    About the pepper grinder — can we PLEASE let you do it yourself? It’d be so much easier for everyone.

  • Springs1

    “Say everything that you inquire about on the menu is “really amazing.”

    That’s sort of like when servers tell you that’s their favorite, it’s AGGRAVATING!!

    “Ask you if you’ve dined there before and if you “know how the restaurant works.”

    Another waste of time AGGRAVATING question that doesn’t matter.”

    “Tell you to wait for “your waiter” when you ask for something.”

    Nothing like no team work to make you feel like a valued customer, NOT!!”

    “Squat, take a knee, or sit down at your table.”

    Sitting down at my table, you need an INVITE to do that. You aren’t in my party, don’t sit here. I don’t understand that if I don’t know you, WHY would you sit? It looks SOOOOO LAZY, VERY LAZY.

    “Ask if you need change.”

    Amazingly been asked that when me and my husband paid with credit cards before. Why are servers SO LAZY? It’s LAZINESS it has to do with and feeling ENTITLED rather than *EARNING* that tip.

    “Try to pass of their mistakes.”

    Nothing kills the tip more than blaming it on someone else like the cooks when it’s obviously the server’s fault for something for example.

    If you want a good tip, BE HONEST. The only way the customer won’t know is if it’s not an obvious mistake such as a slightly undercooked steak if the server put in the order in wrong, if it’s not on the check that way, the customer won’t know it’s the server’s fault really for putting the order in with the wrong temperature. Most things though, are OBVIOUS. I had this one waitress that blamed the cooks for *HER*(OUR WAITRESS), not bringing out the side of rice that came with an item my husband ordered it as it came and instead she brought out 2 sets of beans(it came with one set of beans, not two.) She said I quote “I don’t know why the cook plated 2 sets of beans.” If it wasn’t for risking spit in food, I would have said “ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND?” Seriously, *SHE* took the order and *SHE* brought it out with forgetting the rice in the kitchen and bringing out an extra set of beans. Turns out, the bitch did more, she rung up an extra set of black beans by accident because she thought that bbq sauce which was for me the bbq sauce was “BB” that it stood for bbq sauce, not black beans. So in turn, honestly the way she rung it up, any idiot would have noticed that we should have had 2 sets of beans AND the rice the way she rung it up. I also had to show her on the menu where the chimchanga I ordered came with GROUND BEEF, NOT SHREDDED, for real when it came out wrong as if she didn’t believe me that I knew the menu BETTER than her and that was our first time there even. She wonders why she had 6% tip I bet the idiot. When you blame others for your laziness or even just a mistake, it pisses the customer off even more. I wish you could just tell off the server when they do that shit without penalty.

    “Write a nice message on the receipt with hearts dotting the i’s and smiley faces all over the place.”

    Another waste of VALUABLE TIME!!

    • Qwerty

      God, I hope you never eat where I work. You sound like a nightmare.

      • Springs1

        “You sound like a nightmare.”

        Because you are LAZY, aren’t I right? Because otherwise, WHY would you say such a thing, huh? You wouldn’t have any issues serving me otherwise.

        • Qwerty

          I don’t need to prove anything to you. Why is it just laziness with you? What kind of skewed perspective on the restaurant industry do you have that you think it’s a piece of cake and only lazy people are employed? I respect your right to have your own opinion but from a stranger’s perspective you just sound like the kind of guest that a restaurant staff will remember for all the worst reasons. I would write more but my lawn chair at work looks lonely and my piña coolata seems to be getting warm.

    • Golden Ruler

      Have you tried eating at home? and not pointing out everyone else’s faults?

      • Springs1

        I eat at home during the week and eat out one the weekend IDIOT!!

        • Emily

          A 6% tip? That’s horrendous. I’m a lawyer now but I waited tables in NY during colllege and even if my waitress screws up she still gets 20% minimum. Lazy is the last thing they are, they’re doing a million things not just tending to you. You’re probably one ofthose people who can’t order properly and asks the price of everything (hey! That’s what a menus for!) after telling your server your ready yet you make them stand their for ten minutes. I can assure you you’ve made a mistake before at your job (assuming you have one, you come off as a fat pretentious housewife who complains just to complain, and your husband probably only takes you out on the weekend because he’s embarrassed/disgusted by your behavior in public) so why can’t these people make a mistake. I can assure you you couldn’t do their job. People like you shouldstay the fuck home. And p.s. – if you’re going to call someone an idiot, don’t mistake the spelling of “on”. It has no “e” at the end.

          • Noneya

            Hilarious that you pointed out their spelling of “on” when you yourself have substituted their for there, as in “make them stand their”. Good job.

          • Springs1

            THANK YOU for pointing out the HYPOCRITE!! I appreciate that!!

          • Roro

            Lady you sound horrible. Have you ever worked food and beverage? You don’t know the ins and outs of the game. You sound like a back seat driver. I’d rather crash the car than dream of ever dealing with you.

          • Springs1

            “Lady you sound horrible”

            HOW, because I want my server to work hard and care about me, huh? NO, I don’t.”

            “Have you ever worked food and beverage?”

            Back between 1998-2002 off and on a little over 2yrs worth I worked as counter help in a donut shop/diner. I dealt with serving customers. I wasn’t a waitress, but I did serve customers food and drinks. I learned much more being a customer than back then when I didn’t eat out as much as we have since then. Back in 1998, I was 21yrs old and still living with my parents at the time, so I didn’t go out to eat much to understand how to serve customers properly as I should have when I first started there compared to if I would have had experience as a customer eating out a lot. I didn’t eat out a lot back then to understand how it felt to be a customer.

            So working as a server doesn’t matter, because I know how to do the job BETTER than most servers even. My husband and I met in Nov. of 2000 and we have been eating out 2-3 times a weekend SINCE then. We have had A LOT of experiences since then to teach me how to do the job.

            “than dream of ever dealing with you.”

            You sound LAZY to say that, otherwise, you’d love to serve me and you know it.

          • Server01

            “You’d love to serve me and you know it.”
            Colossal. Bitch.

          • http://twitter.com/burnisthetruth EmanuelBürnGoldstein

            “I worked as counter help in a donut shop/diner.”
            And that is why you’re a moron for posting your goofy opinions here. You sound like the type of dried out cunt that would complain to her nurse that he’s putting in your IV wrong, like you have the first clue as to how to do it yourself. If you’ve never done it, and sorry but working a donut shop counter for a few months a decade ago isn’t even remotely close to the same thing, then you have ZERO valid opinions of how it should be done. The irony is, it’s asshole customers like you that nitpick and complain about every single thing and come into the restaurant assuming that your server will be lazy and fuck up your order that are the ones who are ACTUALLY causing the slowed down service for everyone else.

            On a side note, I can’t help but wonder, when you were a bratty little kid, did you scream “ARE YOU BLIND?!” at your mom when she put the meal she’d cooked in front of your ravenous little face but forgot to butter your bread? I thought at first that you just had issues with common societal guidelines but now I’m think that being a shitty patron might just stem from some sort of childhood trauma. Also, why are you idiots eating out 2-3 times a week if you feel that way about the service you get? Sounds more to me like you just like being able to bitch at someone in a place where they have to accommodate your sour attitude in order to keep their job.

            Look, we’re working harder during one dinner rush than most people work all day and if you don’t like it, if whatever casual dining restaurant you frequent doesn’t meet your absurdly high personal standard of service, simply don’t eat out. You don’t seem to have the fortitude for it. It’s really that simple. Take your prissy ass to McDonald’s instead. And trust me when I tell you that the restaurant management you’re complaining to that you feel are on your side when problems arise, as well as the countless servers you abuse every week, would toss you on your ass in a second for acting like that if it weren’t corporate. See, you think you’re in the right but what’s really happening is that the management just doesn’t want you to make an even BIGGER ass out of yourself in their store. That would cost us customers that we DO want to come back. You’re just the pricks we’ve got to deal with, like the giant seed in the middle of a delicious peach.

            I will end this, content in the knowledge that your borderline trolling response will go completely unread by me and that there have more than likely been plenty of greasy kitchen crew cocks marinating your precious side of rice, all because you forgot one of the most important social rules- Don’t FUCK with the people who handle your FOOD.

          • Springs1

            “sorry but working a donut shop counter for a few months a decade ago isn’t even remotely close to the same thing,”

            I NEVER said it was, but I worked there over 2 yrs, NOT just a few months ASSHOLE!! I worked at times double shifts during that time as well, once I worked 19 hrs in a row other times 16 hrs at a time.

            ” assuming that your server will be lazy and fuck up your order”

            I am not assuming anything, it happens at times.

            “Take your prissy ass to McDonald’s instead.”

            At McDonald’s I can’t tip, so NO!

          • http://www.facebook.com/mark.taronji Mark Taronji

            Who the fuck wants to know your BIO??

          • urumomo

            your husband must drink like a fish

          • Springs1

            Emily

            “Lazy is the last thing they are, they’re doing a million things not just tending to you.”

            You obviously don’t eat out much, do you?

            Most servers are too lazy to write down your order or anything you ask. It’s the TRUTH!!

            They are lazy when they bring you your food and don’t compare their written order or tickets/computer screen orders to the food for obvious errors.

            They are lazy when they give you refills without asking first rather than coming to your table to ask you.

            They are lazy when they bring bar drinks and soft drinks for the same table at the same time when they could have made SEPARATE TRIPS to think of the customer’s thirst that didn’t order alcoholic beverages and think about the customer’s hunger that they might want to at least order an appetizer if they aren’t ready to fully order yet.

            Most servers don’t compare the menu prices to the check prices as well. That’s lazy.

            A lot of servers ask if you want change or don’t return the correct amount of change to short you. Those servers are lazy.

            “You’re probably one ofthose people who can’t order properly”

            NO, I know how to order. I am EXTREMELY DETAIL ORIENTED to where I have proven servers and managers wrong about things on their menus, signs, and coupons that they were wrong about even

            “asks the price of everything (hey! That’s what a menus for!) after telling your server your ready yet you make them stand their for ten minutes.”

            NO, I am VERY CONSIDERATE of my server’s time. I have NEVER asked them that, *EVER* or made them stand there if I am not ready to order. WHY are you accusing me of things I don’t do, huh? You are a mean assumer, you really are.

            “(assuming you have one, you come off as a fat pretentious housewife who complains just to complain, and your husband probably only takes you out on the weekend because he’s embarrassed/disgusted by your behavior in public)”

            NO, I work 40hrs a week, 97lbs at 5’0″ this morning I weighed myself JEALOUS BITCH, and my husband is PROUD to be with me.

            To mention weight is stupid. What does weight have to do with this, huh? Seriously, this is RIDICULOUS that people are worried about that.

            He agrees with me.

            “I can assure you you couldn’t do their job.”

            Yes I could considering I am not lazy like most servers, I am very caring, and I know more about the menus than most servers do, even managers even.

            “People like you shouldstay the fuck home.”

            Servers like you should not serve the public if they don’t want to do *WORK* for their money.

            “even if my waitress screws up she still gets 20% minimum”

            They won’t *LEARN* anything by doing that, so all you are doing is CREATING THE ISSUES TO HAPPEN OVER AND OVER AGAIN MORON. Didn’t you take psychology in college(POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT) , HUH? It really works at times.

          • jlove

            You obviously have no life. How long did you spend reading these comments and pointing out peoples mistakes? Get over yourself and stay home nobody wants your 6% tip.

          • http://www.facebook.com/will.holmes.37625 Will Holmes

            Hilarious.I’ve never seen such an abusive use of the words “lazy” and “idiot” in all my life. The lady needs a thesaurus lol

          • Springs1

            “nobody wants your 6% tip.”

            I hardly have EVER tipped that low. We tip 25%-30% and more at times IDIOT for WONDERFUL SERVICE. 6% it has to be really bad to tip that low.

          • Server01

            Yep, like I said, COLOSSAL bitch.

          • urumomo

            ….just show your physician this ,,uh ,, ” conversation ” —he or she will know what to prescribe , dear .

          • Springs1

            “ofthose” should be “of those”

            “stand their” should be: “stand there”

            “shouldstay” should be: “should stay”

            “I’m a lawyer now but” should be: “I’m a lawyer now, but”

            “Lazy is the last thing they are, they’re doing” should be “Lazy is the last thing they are. or ; at the end. Capitalize They’re if you are putting a period at the end of the word “are.”

            So do you see how you are a HUGE HYPOCRITE telling me “if you’re going to call someone an idiot, don’t mistake the spelling of “on”. It has no “e” at the end.”, huh?

            “I can assure you you’ve made a mistake before at your job”

            Yes, but I wouldn’t think I would deserve 20% if I messed up if I were a server and I also would try my best, not be lazy like most servers are today that don’t want to even write your order down when the manager LET’S THEM.

            I had a waitress that wasn’t our waitress bring my food out with 3 DUH mistakes on it(missing extra crispy bacon on an OPEN-FACED BURGER, pickles on the side of the plate when I asked for no pickles, and a side of ranch was missing that MY SERVER could have gotten that at least BEFORE the food came out). Anyway, I am truly assuming our server(It was only me and my husband) didn’t mess up that much putting my order that much, especially forgetting to put in the bacon part. Anyway, I told this waitress as I saw it ON THE TRAY, that’s right, the items I could see without touching ONE THING and NOT even in front me yet, on the tray and her response “I’M NOT YOUR SERVER!” and left. YEAH, you think she wasn’t lazy to say that? YEAH SHE SURE THE HELL WAS!! It’s supposed to be TEAMWORK. That means she was supposed to compare the ticket(they had tickets at this restaurant and the plate of food to notice these things were missing *BEFORE* she left the kitchen.

            I don’t give a care if she wasn’t my server. SO WHAT? She was sure serving me, so she was part of my service that the tip affected GREATLY because of *HER* being a mean bitch.

            My server could have brought out that ranch BEFORE the food came out, NO EXCUSES it takes 25-35 minutes to get a side of ranch.

          • Stevie

            By the way you are acting I have to believe that you are either the woman who wrote this or one of her dingbat friends backing her up.

            Lady you have issues. I’m really happy that you worked at a donut shop and all but seriously you have no idea what being a server means. It’s really nice that you feel the need to degrade everyone and I’m sure happy that your husband is so proud of you, which by your attitude I’m not quite sure that he exist.

            Here’s what I recommend. If you think it’s so easy. Try it. Get a restaurant job like us sad lesser beings. You would be broken and crying in less that a week. Might make and elites like you a little more humble.

          • Springs1

            “Lazy is the last thing they are, they’re doing a million things not just tending to you.”

            Look what a server at Red Lobster had to say about that:

            http://stef319.hubpages.com/hub/Confessions-of-A-Food-Server

            stef319 said 18 months ago:

            “I definitely know where you’re coming from with servers, though. I will agree that 90% of our servers ARE lazy. They drive me crazy; as lazy as they are with their tables (who are providing their tips), imagine how lazy they are when it’s time to do sidework and help clean the restaurant. They’re always on their cell phones, outside smoking cigarettes, flirting with the cooks, when they should be paying attention to their guests. And I bet they get your orders wrong all the time because you’re right-they are lazy. They expect a 20% tip always. They wonder why they get “stiffed” on a tip sometimes. It’s because they didn’t deserve a tip! They don’t read the kitchen slips, they bring a steak out without a steak knife, they forget sides, and they auction off food.”

            She’s a (*SERVE*) and she agrees with me, HOW ABOUT THAT ONE FOR YA IDIOT, HUH?

          • urumomo

            ” auction off food ” ? . I think you’d make a great rodeo clown

        • http://www.facebook.com/mark.taronji Mark Taronji

          “and eat out one the weekend”?? I always spell-check & grammar-check before I start hurling insults. BTW-You sound like the most pretentious piece of shit. I have to stop reading your posts because I am really starting to hope for REALLY bad things to happen to you ASAP.

    • Server01

      Man, you sound like a colossal bitch.

      • Springs1

        You sound like an UNCARING JERK!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/will.holmes.37625 Will Holmes

      You are one of those people who walks into a place looking for any excuse to be a bitch. You obviously don’t know what work is. You have no gratitude and you assume everyone around you is stupid for not doing everything the way you want. You are probably wealthy and white and a “good and kind” Christian. You must love the taste of spit; you are an ignorant nightmare.

    • Charlotte

      I hope you don’t own any weapons. Your apparent anger at powerless individuals within the restaurant industry is honestly frightening.

      I get that you want to live in your fantasy world where everybody can read your mind and serve you exactly as you desire, but to be angry at others because your fantasy is not a reality is irrational. You must accept that human interaction is a part of going out to eat. If you don’t like it (which you clearly don’t), then you either have to a) factor it in and accept it or b) stop going out to eat.

      Raging on the internet for hours at a time because a below minimum wage worker did her job is really a waste of time (are you trying to start a movement here or what?). You’ll be a lot better off, and a lot less VALUABLE TIME will be wasted if you accept the world as-is or make meaningful changes (for instance, learning how to cook for yourself) to make the world more palatable for you. Right now, you’re doing neither. Rage begets rage, and you’re begetting a lot of it with these strangely-styled rants.

      Good luck, and let’s hope you never take your pent-up, confusing ire out on somebody who dares to follow restaurant policy.

    • yeesh

      Wow, please never come into my restaurant. And honestly what is the difference between ground beef and shredded beef? Get outta here.

      I’m glad that you are absolutely perfect and never ever make mistakes, get your own goddamn food. Better yet stay home.

      • yeesh

        Also, please try to reply in a way that makes sense…

        Bonus points if you can do it without the word LAZY

      • Springs1

        “Wow, please never come into my restaurant.”

        Because you are LAZY, that’s why.

        ” And honestly what is the difference between ground beef and shredded beef? Get outta here.”

        IGNORANT, THE ****************TASTE**************** YOU STUPID FOOL!!

        YOU ARE DUMB, YOU GET OUT OF HERE IDIOT!! DUMB AS ROCK YOU ARE!!

        There’s a HUGE DIFFERENCE IN TASTE.

        YOU ARE DUMB!!

        “I’m glad that you are absolutely perfect and never ever make mistakes,”

        You don’t get it, I am not mad at mistakes, I am mad at the LAZY ASS AND UNCARING SERVERS THAT DON’T **********TRY THEIR BEST******** IDIOT!!

        • Autumn vallette

          I have taken the time to read through half of your posts and the only thing I see, is someone that cant go one sentence without insulting someone with profanity or name-calling. The next time you find the urge to make a post, please don’t, because you’re embarrassing yourself. If anything, my IQ has dropped from reading your posts, as they have no significant vocabulary within them besides “idiot” and “asshole”.

          also– Please take the time to eat at home, because if anything, you are the only person I see thats lazy in this scenario is you, being that you don’t know how to, or dont want to cook for yourself. I understand that you want good service, but the the only thing you do is focus on the negativity. Instead of bitching about the negatives, find something positive within your server, because what you described is unrealistic.

          On that note, Grow up, stay home, and eat there, because you are the “nightmare” no one wants to deal with. No wonder you get such horrid service.

          • Springs1

            “I have taken the time to read through half of your posts”

            Then you have the audacity to call me lazy? YOU HYPOCRITE!!”

            “is someone that cant go one sentence without insulting someone with profanity or name-calling.”

            Because those people are mean and wrong. When you are mean to me, I should be able to give it back to you to make things EVEN!”

            “because if anything, you are the only person I see thats lazy in this
            scenario is you, being that you don’t know how to, or dont want to cook for yourself.”

            I agree with you in that I am too lazy to cook myself and I am not good at it, but I am not LAZY with other things.

            I bet you are too lazy to sew your own clothes or grow your own garden, aren’t you? You see, you can say I am too lazy to cook, but in other ways *YOU* are just as lazy as I am with cooking. HYPOCRITE WHO DOESN’T WANT TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR!!

            “because what you described is unrealistic.”

            But it IS realistic, because we have gotten perfect or at least near perfect service LOTS of times before. Definitely we have had perfect service before a lot of times.

            “because you are the “nightmare” no one wants to deal with.”

            You are LAZY to say that HYPOCRITE, because WHY would you say I was a “nightmare” if you weren’t huh? You’d LOVE to serve me if you weren’t lazy and you know it.

            They do want to serve us. We request servers at a lot of restaurants we go to regularly and YES they talk to us like PEOPLE ask us how we are doing, etc.

            “No wonder you get such horrid service.”

            NO, I get bad service because of LAZY AND UNCARING people like yourself that feels customers are nightmares rather than BUSTING YOUR ASS FOR YOUR MONEY!!

          • Autumn vallette

            No, I would not “love to serve you”. I’m pretty sure the moment I see you walk in the door, I would probably ask someone else to serve you because I wouldn’t want to deal with you. Just because you have had “perfect or near perfect service” before, you need to keep in mind that not everyone is the same. Do you realize how ridiculous you sound? I am NOT hypocrite. I am a MODEL customer because I know the HELL people go through dealing with customers like yourself. You obviously have never had hte pleasure of dealing with a full section on a busy saturday night, with a 45 minute wait, and running full boar. I am NOT lazy, because I work extremely hard at my job and I’m VERY good when I wait tables. You really should speak for yourself, because at this point, you’re just blowing hot air.

          • Springs1

            “No, I would not “love to serve you”.”

            That’s your LAZINESS TALKING, because otherwise, you’d LOVE to serve me and you know it.

            “I would probably ask someone else to serve you because I wouldn’t want to deal with you.”

            Again, LAZINESS!

            “Just because you have had “perfect or near perfect service” before, you need to keep in mind that not everyone is the same.”

            What does being the same have to do with perfect service?

            That just doesn’t make *ANY* sense. You can still not make mistakes and either be friendly or not be friendly IDIOT! One server can be your best bud, the other may not chit chat, but both could have done a perfect job, understand? Or if they did make mistakes that both type of people could apologize for their mistakes as well.

            “Do you realize how ridiculous you sound?”

            I am not ridiculous. I don’t understand what you are talking about? I am VERY SMART! At least I know the menu at most places I go compared to the DUMB, LAZY ASS SERVERS! I know how to do the job MORE THAN THEY DO and they have actual EXPERIENCE doing it, which I don’t, but yet I know more than them, hmmmm, isn’t that something, huh?

            “I am NOT hypocrite.”

            You didn’t answer the questions, so OBVIOUSLY you are. You don’t sew your own clothes do you or plant your own garden of food. There’s NO DIFFERENCE in being lazy with that and cooking, NONE! Those are things you can do **********YOURSELF**********, but decide to let others do them for you. Do you wash your own car or do you take it to the car wash? Etc. Etc.

            “I am a MODEL customer because I know the HELL people go through dealing with customers like yourself.”

            What are you talking about? I don’t put anyone through hell except for the LAZY ASSES out there that don’t want to *EARN* their tip.

            If that’s what you are referring to, then you sound lazy like they do.

            WHO CARES if you are a “MODEL” customer? If you don’t tip well, WHO CARES? All they want is money. They don’t care about *YOU* as a person in most cases.

            It doesn’t matter if you are or aren’t a model customer if you don’t pay up.

            ” I am NOT lazy, because I work extremely hard at my job”

            Do you write EVERY SINGLE THING DOWN? I bet you don’t, if you don’t, ******THAT****** IS LAZY!

            Do you *REREAD* those written orders or list of things and compare them to what you are bringing out?

            Do you compare your written orders or tickets/computer screen to the food for any obvious errors? If you don’t, you are lazy.

            Do you bring out non-bar drinks *BEFORE* bar drinks out if they are ready BEFORE the bar drinks for a table? If you don’t, you are lazy and VERY INCONSIDERATE of customer’s thirst. Think about it, would you like waiting for a coke 10-15 minutes just because 3 other people at your table want mixed drinks? I doubt you would, so WHY do that to others?

            Do you compare the check prices to the menu prices before giving the check to the customer? If you don’t, you are lazy. You just don’t realize HOW MANY TIMES, LITERALLY we have had wrong prices on our checks that were overcharged. A number of restaurants such as TWICE we had it at Outback, once at Hooter’s, Fox and Hound once, etc. Many other restaurants as well.

            Any problem you can see *BEFORE* you hand it to us is on *YOU*! While you can’t change the price in the computer, you can tell your manager about it to fix the issue *BEFORE* you serve us the check, that’s right, “SERVE” us the check, because that’s part of your job as a server! I bet you don’t do that, do you LAZY AND UNCARING HUMAN BEING THAT IS SELFISH ONLY CONSIDERING AND THINKING ABOUT JUST YOUR OWN MONEY?

            In order for US customers to care about your money, you have to care about if ours is correct. That’s how tipping works.

            “you’re just blowing hot air.”

            HOW? You know I am not and you know it.

  • disqus_6n96QUCt6T

    Whoever wrote this is the person who tips $5 on a $100 tab while complaining about food (but ate it all), and demanding for things instead of asking generously.

  • ChinotheJet

    None of these rules apply @ hooters

  • Pingback: The 11 Most Annoying Things Waiters Do At Restaurants « Go to News!

  • Holly

    gran/serve your wine by the stem :( !

  • D

    This is one of the worst articles I have ever read. The author has no understanding of the restaurant industry.

    1) Many times servers have a checklist of things they are required to do (Such as asking about coffee or dessert, or introducing themselves by name). This is not a ploy to get you to not stiff them.

    4) In most cases the server is not tasked with giving you menus or water. Menus are given by hostesses and waters are brought out by the bussers.

    6) Servers are not responsible for giving you cutlery. That should be put on the table by the busser before you arrive (Except in the case of a steak knife or some other specific instance). Additionally, the other server you are asking for help from has their own tables to take care of and might not have time to fulfill your request without neglecting their own customers. You are not the only person in the restaurant, so unless it is an emergency, wait until you see your server. If the server is chronically absent, and it’s not because they’re running around like crazy serving other tables, make it a point to speak to a manager. If they are running around, it’s probably because the restaurant is understaffed and they are doing their best to make sure everyone is taken care of.

    9) If you plan on only getting drinks or appetizers during peak hours, go to a bar or sit in the bar area. Taking up a table during the dinner rush when you aren’t eating dinner is inconsiderate to both the server and the restaurant. Is this your problem? No. But should we go through life only thinking of our own personal well being?

    10) Servers ask if you need change mostly because of the time it takes to actually make the change. They don’t have cash registers, so making change unnecessarily takes away from the time they have to help other guests. This is especially true if a small check is paid with a $50 or $100 bill.

    • Cat

      Not to mention, I can’t tell you HOW many times someone just hands me more bills than necessary to cover their bill, doesn’t tell me to keep the change, and then is confused as to why I brought them change just to make sure that they didn’t miscount or want smaller bills.

  • Qwerty

    Worst article I’ve ever read. If restaurants are so strange and awkward for you order delivery, douchebag. Maybe drop the “journalism” and give waiting tables a try.

  • TIP

    There is something that really bothers me : I hate when the waiter brings the check and I’m still eating. The waiter should wait until we are all done and we ASK for the check. The waiter shouldn’t forget that the costumer is not there just to give him a tip. Keep in mind that I go to a restaurant to have a good time with my friends, eat good food and take the time I need. If I wanted to swallow my food and leave, I would go to Macdonald’s.

  • stef

    When my server says “Hi my name is Glenn and I’ll be your server tonight” I say “Hi Glenn, how are you?” because it’s called human freaking decency…

    • Springs1

      “When my server says “Hi my name is Glenn and I’ll be your server
      tonight” I say “Hi Glenn, how are you?” because it’s called human
      freaking decency…”

      NO, it’s called that’s what *YOU* want for *YOUR* MONEY. What if I want to start to order and not be delayed? Shouldn’t I get what *I* want for *MY* money?

      The server shouldn’t get what they want out of MY TIP MONEY, understand what I am saying?

      Human decency is caring about your customer’s time not being wasted by purposely delaying them.

      You must not wait an hour for a table or anything like that or wait all day to eat, do you?

      • http://twitter.com/burnisthetruth EmanuelBürnGoldstein

        How the fuck is that your servers issue? How do they know that you’ve starved yourself all day like an idiot and have no desire to know the name of the person you’ll have to ask for all of the extra stuff you continuously ask for? How about instead of being a cunt you just say “Excuse me, Glenn. I’m in a bit of a rush and already know my order, if you could take it now?”.

        • Springs1

          EmanuelBürnGoldstein

          “How do they know that you’ve starved yourself all day like an idiot and have no desire to know the name of the person you’ll have to ask for all of the extra stuff you continuously ask for?”

          How about just being **************CONSIDERATE**************** and not doing that unless the ************CUSTOMER************ INITIATES the conversation, what a CONCEPT, HUH?

          WHY delay the customer? That’s STUPID. I wouldn’t be so inconsiderate of my customers if I were a server.

          I would do just what was required “My name is such and such, I will be your server tonight(or today if it’s during the day), Can I start you all off with something to drink.” They don’t have to answer the question, it’s their money, not mine to spend on the tip and if I want their money, I should think of their time(HUNGER AND THIRST).

          • http://www.facebook.com/jpbutka John Paul Timothy Butka

            If you’re in that big of a hurry, it sounds live a drive-thru would be your best option

          • Springs1

            “If you’re in that big of a hurry, it sounds live a drive-thru would be your best option”

            NO, because I am *NOT* ***PAYING FOR THE SERVICE******* to get it “MY WAY” THERE IDIOT!! Also, I can’t get that quality of food in drive-thru IDIOT!!

          • Fifi

            I have a feeling your not very nice to people in general at all. I have a feeling your a miserable, bitter and hateful person. Its people like you who suck the life out of customer service workers and then we are forced to go home down a bottle of Prozac followed by chasers of a strong liquor. We have to do this, because people like you are so insistent on forcing nice people, to stoop to your level and the only way to handle people like you is in a clouded and intoxicated manner. It makes it easier to laugh at your ass in the kitchen and brush scum like you off our shoulders and on to the floor with all the other pests crawling around down there.

          • Springs1

            Fifi
            “I have a feeling your not very nice to people in general at all.”

            I am, you aren’t because you are trying to tell people how to spend their money on the service *THEY* are PAYING FOR, NOT YOU!

            That’s not nice. It’s also not nice to tell someone to go to Wendy’s where you don’t get to tip to get satisfied vs. where you tip because you are satisfied. Does that make ANY SENSE? I mean, if I didn’t want to tip, I’d go to Wendy’s, understand? I want what *I* want for *MY* money and I should be able to get that if you respect *MY* feelings and wishes.

            You aren’t a nice person to not consider that people skip meals or wait an hour or more for a table. Look at yourself in the mirror as to *WHO* is the NOT NICE PERSON HERE. I would just cut to the chase so the customer could eat and drink, because I KNOW how it feels to be hungry and thirsty, obviously, you don’t apparently or just can’t sympathize with the customer, can you?

            ” I have a feeling your a miserable, bitter and hateful person.”

            No, I am actually NICER than the servers are to me. I tell them “THANK YOU” and ask nicely for things, but most of the times when servers mess up they don’t say they are sorry or even at times they have blamed others or things rather than themselves.

            You are VERY, VERY, VERY WRONG about that. I am a very nice person. You aren’t nice because all you think about is *YOURSELF* when it’s ********NOT YOUR FUCKING TIP MONEY PAYING FOR ***********MY***************** TIME THERE CALLED A TIP, IT’S **********MINE************* WHICH IS CALLED ************************CUSTOMER SERVICE FOR A REAL REASON IDIOT! It isn’t called “SERVER SERVICE” IS IT?

            ” because people like you are so insistent on forcing nice people, to stoop to your level”

            What level, being CONSIDERATE of someone’s hunger, thirst, and time is somehow sooooo horrible to think that a server would think of our feelings and time? YOU ARE A CONTROL FREAK, because it’s *NOT* YOUR SERVICE, IT’S ***********OUR MONEY**********, so we should get to have EVERY SINGLE THING THE WAY **********WE************** WANT IT, NOT YOU!

            STOP CONTROLLING OUR MONEY!

          • Maria

            Springs1, I just wanted to let you know how very effective your repeated use of common insults is in driving home your incredibly intelligent and insightful point.

      • Followasmile

        No. Servers don’t get to eat because they’re waiting on assholes like you. If your server introducing themselves bothers you, you need to get over it. It lets you know who is taking care of you in the event that you need anything. Get over yourself. Go take your money elsewhere, because I can GUARANTEE that no server EVER needs money SO badly that they want to deal with an asshole for the likely 10% Your going to leave because they told you their name and it pissed you off.

      • anonymous

        You. Are rude. And believe it or not, yes servers do go out to eat sometimes too! And we’re even worse to serve sometimes because we actually know what to expect of a server and what actually went wrong. You are just an impatient asshole.

        • Springs1

          “You. Are rude.”

          HOW?

          “And believe it or not, yes servers do go out to eat sometimes too!”

          They sure don’t act like it.

          “And we’re even worse to serve sometimes because we actually know what to expect of a server and what actually went wrong.”

          I know what to expect too.

          “You are just an impatient asshole.”

          You are a CONTROL FREAK, VERY INCONSIDERATE ASSHOLE!! I am a VERY CONSIDERATE PERSON NOT TO PURPOSELY WASTED SOMEONE’S TIME FOR THEIR MONEY!!

          • getoveryourself

            I hope whoever serves you spits in your food, because you sound like the worst kind of customer.

            If I were you, I wouldn’t go back to the same restaurant too many times – servers remember terrible customers and talk about them in the kitchen.

          • Springs1

            “I hope whoever serves you spits in your food, because you sound like the worst kind of customer.”

            WHY? It’s not going to do anything if they aren’t sick IDIOT! I would NEVER, EVER WISH THAT ON ANYONE, EVEN *YOU* UNCARING JERK! FUCK YOU!!

            “If I were you, I wouldn’t go back to the same restaurant too many times –
            servers remember terrible customers and talk about them in the kitchen.”

            I am an AWESOME CUSTOMER PAYING 25%-30% and UPWARDS TO MY BEST SERVERS! You have NO FUCKING CLUE OF WTF YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!! You are just TOO LAZY AND UNCARING TO SERVE THE CORRECT WAY!!

          • Pheorach

            I highly doubt any of that is true, and I bet you would give them pennies out of a toilet if you were even HALF as generous.

          • Springs1

            It *IS* TRUE! I don’t understand WHY you doubt that? All I want is what *I* want for *MY* money. WHY THE FUCK IS THAT A CRIME, HUH?

          • dexx

            I think the people are doubting your credibility because (and I’m saying this as gently as possible) you are getting really really worked up and really yelling at everyone over something that is a matter of opinion. What a lot of people have to realize is that everyone likes something different from their waiter, and lots of people prefer the waiter to introduce themselves, so that they know who to ask for by name. I understand being in a hurry, but I think most people have gone a day without food for whatever reason, so we’ve all been there. But that really isn’t an excuse to be so passionate to the point of yelling about a silly topic like whether or not the waiter should introduce himself before taking your order. In the end, remember that the waiter can’t please everyone as we all have differing opinions, and some people actually get upset when introductions aren’t made.

          • dexx

            also, as a server if I was to introduce myself it wouldn’t be so that you would “humanize” me more and give me a bigger tip, it would be so that if you needed to call me or find me, you could. As opposed to having to go up to the hostess and asking “can you get my server?” which then would elicite a response such as “ok… where were you sitting? what did she look like?”

          • springs1STFU

            clearly everyone hates you here so just STFU already!

          • Pheorach

            You are the biggest fucking shithead I have ever had the displeasure of seeing on the internet. I hope any waiter you abuse is going to spit in your fucking drink.

            You sound like the most callous, inconsiderate, douchebag to ever roam the planet.

            Listen. You have no idea what a waiter goes through on a day by day basis. If you want good service, you’re going to have to abide by restaurant etiquette. Unlike what your whore of a mother must have taught you; YOU. ARE. NOT. ENTITLED. TO TREAT. PEOPLE. LIKE. SCUM. FOR. DOING. THEIR. JOBS.

            Go die in a pit, seriously. Or go wait tables for ONE DAY; and see just how much you like being treated this way.

            You think you’re the fucking queen of England or something? You are just another face out of billions of faces on this Earth, and you need to learn some fucking manners.

            “A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person”

            That quote holds true, no matter ho much you want to shout over the internet.

          • Springs1

            “You are the biggest fucking shithead I have ever had the displeasure of seeing on the internet.”

            HOW? I am VERY NICE AND CONSIDERATE!

            “I hope any waiter you abuse is going to spit in your fucking drink.”

            Does it matter if I don’t get sick, huh?

            NOPE, IT DOESN’T! I can get them arrested though. I don’t hope that on you or anyone. See how *YOU* are the one that is a dickhead, huh?

            “You sound like the most callous, inconsiderate, douchebag to ever roam the planet.”

            NO, I am the 100% OPPOSITE of this. I think of other customer’s time, you don’t. You want to waste time asking shit that no one gives a fuck about.

            They didn’t dine there to talk to you if they don’t know you unless they are dining alone maybe, but most people don’t dine alone in general.

            You are the most inconsiderate person to make someone do something and knowing they are hungry/thirsty is an ASSHOLE to delay them on purpose. FUCK YOU! Then you expect that GOOD tip at the end, WTF???

            ” If you want good service, you’re going to have to abide by restaurant etiquette”

            NO, I get good service without doing that. I don’t need to do anything unless *YOU* are going to *******PAY FOR MY SERVICE********! GOT THAT CONTROL FREAK ASSHOLE, HUH?

            *HOW DARE YOU TELL ME HOW TO SPEND MY MONEY* CONTROL FREAK ASSHOLE?

            I am not telling you how to spend your money. That’s a personal issue.

            ” Unlike what your whore of a mother must have taught you;”

            She’s not a whore. In fact, she waited until she was 23yrs old to have intercourse and I followed in her footsteps waited until I was 25yrs old when I was MARRIED to have intercourse.

            Neither one of us are whores. *YOU* must be the whore.

            “YOU. ARE. NOT. ENTITLED. TO TREAT. PEOPLE. LIKE. SCUM. FOR. DOING. THEIR. JOBS.”

            I 100%, BILLION PERCENT *********AGREE******** WITH YOU! I don’t treat ANYONE like scum. WHERE THE HELL ARE GETTING THAT FROM, HUH?

            “Or go wait tables for ONE DAY; and see just how much you like being treated this way.”

            WHAT WAY? That people are in a hurry? That people are hungry? That people are thirsty? I wouldn’t DARE DELAY THEM IF THAT’S NOT WHAT *THEY* WANTED FOR *THEIR* MONEY. If a customer asked me how I was doing, I would then know that’s what they want for *THEIR* money. But if they don’t, I am not going to *MAKE THEM* like *YOU* would.

            If they just want me to be there only when needed, that’s how they want their money spent. WHO WOULD I BE TO TELL THEM HOW TO SPEND THEIR MONEY, HUH?

            I don’t get why you think I am mean to a server? I am not mean. In fact, I am *NICER* than most servers are to me. For example, “I would like the mozzarella sticks adding a side of ranch to it.” Our server brings it out, she immediately notices it without me telling her. She says “I’ll bring you your ranch in a moment.” She comes back. “I say “thank you”, NO SORRY TO SPEAK OF. I was NICER than she was. This happens A LOT that servers will NOT APOLOGIZE. YET, I AM NICE ENOUGH TO STILL SAY THANK YOU! I am the person that is being polite, NOT THEM!

            Sure there are servers that will apologize, but they are RARE, REALLY RARE!

            “You think you’re the fucking queen of England or something?”

            You seem that way that you think you should rule my money.

          • Springs1

            Another thing to add:

            I want to hear “I’m sorry” when my server messes up, yet, ***I**** that’s right, *I* STILL THANK THEM.

            Another example, this waitress we had forgot my husband’s baked potato when *SHE* brought out our food. Instead of going to find out what happened, she stares at the fucking ticket on the tray and then leaves without a word. Then comes back with it, NO APOLOGY, but my husband still said “thank you” to her though.

            THAT IS HOW MOST SERVERS ARE, ASSHOLES! FUCKING NOT POLITE, NO MANNERS, ETC. They don’t want to admit they fucked up, because they think their tip will be altered, but it was lowered MUCH MORE because she was a bitch. She didn’t apologize. I mean, HOW MEAN CAN YOU GET? SHE FORGOT TO BRING IT OUT FROM THE KITCHEN EVEN IF THE ORDER WAS PUT IN CORRECTLY, *SHE* STILL FORGOT TO LEAVE WITH IT. It’s OBVIOUS TO THE EYES A WHOLE SIDE DISH IS NOT THERE!

            So if it’s something like that, servers should even more so apologize, because we already know WHO fucked up. OUR SERVER! We should have had a “SO SORRY” for a side dish. That’s more major than a side of ranch being forgotten.

          • Springs1

            Another thing as well:

            Answer these questions:

            1. How do *YOU* FEEL when *YOU* are hungry and thirsty?

            2. How do *YOU* FEEL if you ever waited an hour or more for a table or even a half an hour for table when you are hungry and thirsty?

            3. Have you ever gone a whole day or almost a whole day like waited from 6a.m. breakfast time and then didn’t eat until 8p.m.? I have, if you haven’t, maybe you need to so you can understand how it feels to be THAT hungry and THAT thirsty.

            *YOU* are the INCONSIDERATE DICKHEAD!

          • BarlowGirl

            I have because I’ve been able to only afford one meal a day. You know whose fault that is? Mine. You know what I did at the end of that day? Fed my freaking self like an adult.

          • Fifi

            I do! I work two full time jobs and go to law school. But I never take it out on people around me. You know why? Because I made a choice to study for my civil litigation test and not eat. I chose to stay and work late killing cows at the meat packing plant so that I could get the money I need for that $500 Civil Rights textbook. I worked 14 straight hours at the restaurant because I wanted the extra cash to stock up on groceries. THESE ARE ALL CHOICES I MADE! I do not take the consequences of my choices and take them out on other people.

          • Springs1

            Fifi
            “Because I made a choice to study for my civil litigation test and not
            eat. I chose to stay and work late killing cows at the meat packing
            plant so that I could get the money I need for that $500 Civil Rights
            textbook. I worked 14 straight hours at the restaurant because I wanted the extra cash to stock up on groceries. THESE ARE ALL CHOICES I MADE! Ido not take the consequences of my choices and take them out on other people.”

            I am not either. That doesn’t mean I don’t have the right to get the service how *I* want it since MY *******TIP MONEY************IS **************PAYING**************** FOR MY TIME NOT TO BE WASTED ON THINGS I DON’T WANT!!

            WHY should I be thankful for a server to not be considerate of me being hungry or thirsty or my time even?

            That’s not nice, is it?

            I am not taking it out on them. You don’t seem to get that it’s not about *YOU* the server, it’s about what ************WE************* WANT FOR OUR MONEY AS TO HOW WE WANT TO SPEND THAT TIME CALLED A TIP!

            If we want to not engage in a conversation and just order, shouldn’t we get that for *************OUR HARD EARNED MONEY************ since we are ********PAYING*********** for that privilege unlike you said “Wendy’s”, huh?

            WHY do you feel the need to control how we want *********OUR************SERVICE when you aren’t *PAYING* for anything in it, huh?

            WHY do you feel the need to have control? *YOU* are the one with the issues, NOT ME!

            You have control issues. I bet you control your wife as well, don’t you telling her what she can or cannot do, am I right?

          • Alysonland

            You really should not be a waiter or in any kind of service job. If you worked in my restaurant I would fire you immediately.

      • server007

        clearly you have never been a server it’s not my pleasure to introduce myself to your lame ass but management forces us to say our name. You never know when there will be some idiot yelping away about you or a secret shopper

      • Fifi

        If you want to start your order and not be delayed, then take your ass to Wendy’s.

        • Springs1

          Fifi
          “If you want to start your order and not be delayed, then take your ass to Wendy’s.”

          If you want my money, then you shall do as *I* TELL YOU TO DO IDIOT!

          I mean you want someone else’s money, but you don’t want to please them by being ***CONSIDERATE**** of their HUNGER AND THIRST AS WELL AS THEIR TIME, does that make ********ANY******** SENSE, HUH?

          You are at the customer’s mercy if you want their money. Don’t you get that or what?

          You aren’t paying MY TIP, so BRING YOUR ASS TO WENDY’S TO WORK THERE IF YOU DON’T WANT TO SATISFY THE *******CUSTOMER******* AND ARE JUST INTERESTED IN SATISFYING YOURSELF!! The service isn’t about you, it’s about the **********CUSTOMER**********, hence the name “CUSTOMER SERVICE”, NOT “SERVER SERVICE” IDIOT!

          You don’t understand that service isn’t to please the server, it’s to please the customer. You are there to do as *WE* want, NOT what *YOU* want. WHY ARE DO YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH *******CONTROLLING SOMEONE ELSE’S MONEY**********, HUH?

          WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME HOW TO SPEND MY TIP MONEY, HUH? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?

        • Springs1

          Fifi

          Another thing, once we went to Applebee’s on Mardi Gras day a number of years ago. We waited 15 minutes for a table already and I think I didn’t eat anything that day at all and this was around 5:p.m. or so. Our waiter greeted us the normal greeting, but added some crap. He asked “How’s y’all’s Mardi Gras, Go to any Parades?” Now, any **********CONSIDERATE************** person would think about our hungry and thirst as well as people after us that are waiting for a table as well as his other customers instead of bullshitting with the customers when they don’t even know their server yet. Also, servers want to blame the kitchen staff for the delays in their food, well you can’t blame the kitchen staff for shit like that. First off, we don’t go to parades and did that back when we were young, not ever since we were together. Secondly, how would this waiter feel if *WE* did that to him when he waits for a table and didn’t eat for a whole day? Would he like it? I sure bet her wouldn’t have.

          BOTH of us wanted to just tell him “Can we please order we are really thirsty and hungry”, but decided to answer to not make waves and just said “No we don’t go to parades.” The thing is, the next time a server we don’t know does something like that, I will ask them nicely “Can we please order, we are really hungry and thirsty.” The main thing as to why people wait for a table a long time to get
          seated and food is because servers want to waste time like that instead
          of just doing their job by letting the customer ORDER. It’s not about *HIM* as the server. He ended up getting stiffed, but it wasn’t because of that. What happened was at the end of the service our bill was around $36 and something cents. He took the check and credit card like usual, but then gave back for some weird reason, just the credit card receipt and left really quickly. So we notice right away the credit card receipt had $47 and something cents billed to it. So I go up to him at another table because he made a HUGE ERROR and I am not going to be punished with my time for his mistake if it was really one, which I think he did it on purpose because to get a higher tip and maybe charge a friend’s table a lower check amount possible for the friend and higher tip, but also possibly maybe because we didn’t go to parades, I don’t know. I do know it’s suspicious that he purposely decided not to give our check back because normally you do get that back when you pay because that’s your receipt that you paid. This to me, was done on purpose so we wouldn’t notice the amount that was charged didn’t match our check. Anyway, so instead of doing like any decent human being would, which this is what I would have done that he should have stopped what he was doing at the table he was at and told them “I’m so sorry that I overcharged this lady’s bill, I’ll be right back.” Instead what happened was I had gone up to him and told him “This is wrong” as I am holding the credit card receipt and he did NOTHING, said NOT EVEN A SORRY. So he in a sense makes me have to get a manager if I want to leave anytime soon, so I go get the manager. The manager tells me that he rung up the wrong table on my credit card. As the manager is reringing the correct amount on our credit card, our waiter comes around and STILL FUCKING DOESN’T SAY HE’S SORRY for an almost $11 overcharge and it’s not like we were mean or anything about it. He sure didn’t want to save his tip any by apologizing, did he? So as the manager was reringing it up, the manager asked what we had ordered. VERBATIM from memory he told the manager. I truly think since he didn’t ONCE say he was sorry, it was done on PURPOSE. I told the manager that, but of course the manager doesn’t believe me that servers can STEAL. But anyway, we left NOTHING! WHY? Because of the way he handled it. As I said before, if that was me as the waitress, I would have PROFUSELY apologized and asked the manager to comp at least a coke for the customer’s inconvenience and I would have interrupted the table I was at to fix the issue since it was still that person’s turn since *I* would have messed up.

          Normally 98% of the times, we don’t have such horrible service that we stiff, but I honestly think he was INTENTIONALLY trying to steal. He would have gotten at least $2 more from us from the higher check if the tip would have been based on 20%. He also as I said could have wanted to give a friend some meal cheaper. For him to not give us back the itemized check back, to ignore me as I told him about the issue, and not apologize shows he was trying to steal. But we got him back by stiffing his ass.

          For him to not even ONCE say he was sorry when we was there when the manager was reringing my credit card up on the correct table, to me tells me he did it on PURPOSE, NOT no accident. An accident is you apologize from one human being to another, whether you get a tip or not, you should apologize out of common decency if a worker did this at Wendy’s even to overcharge someone, especially for such a large amount like that should have gotten a COMP of at least a soft drink off the bill and should have accompanied any apology from the WAITER.

          So rethink before you say I am such a not nice person, because I am. I would be a LOT NICER about issues like this if I would have done something like that. I would have interrupted my table I was at because it was still that customer’s turn since I would have messed up. I would NEVER make a customer feel they have to get a manager. That isn’t our job as a customer. THEY should fix their OWN MISTAKES, which it wasn’t a mistake, it was intentional, no doubt in my mind. We weren’t ever mean to him or anything or rude or anything. I am not sure WHY he did this other than he was money hungry and wanted to steal. To me it was just really odd that when he rung up the credit card receipt and gave it REALLY FAST without our check and walked off so quickly that we couldn’t get him before he went to that other table. He did it on PURPOSE!

          You think I am a not nice person, think again. I am a VERY NICE and CONSIDERATE PERSON! I would have bended over backwards to apologize for the customer just from one human being to another tip or no tip would not be my concern, because I would have just felt bad about overcharging someone that much and making them wait longer to leave. He wasn’t concerned about our time at all that he didn’t stop what he was doing at the table he was at. He I think was getting some drink orders possibly or something, I don’t know, but that was rude of him to not immediately stop what he was doing since it was still OUR TURN because this was delaying us from leaving. It’s different if let’s say my food order is wrong, I’ll wait until my server comes back, but if I am ready to leave, I am sure not going to be held hostage being punished with my time to stay another moment longer, because that WILL affect the tip as to how long they are making us stay to fix the mistake. All of that took probably around 5 minutes or so by the time I told him and then by the time the manager came around, then returned the money, then had to rering up the correct thing. The manager didn’t even comp anything for our time that we were inconvenienced. I don’t remember if the manager apologized, but I really don’t think he did or if he did as I said before, he didn’t believe me when I said I thought the waiter did it on purpose. I am for 100% CERTAIN he did it on purpose, because he would have at least ONCE apologized and he would have stopped immediately to take care of this issue rather than doing what he did. He also didn’t give us back the check and then walked off so quickly on purpose so we wouldn’t realize the wrong amount was billed to our credit card before the tip. I hope that if he did this again that they arrested this waiter for being a THIEF! This was VERY WRONG what he did.

          So remember when you want to say I am not nice, I am VERY NICE and would have been SUCH A NICER SERVER about it. Also to think that he VERBATIM knew what we had ordered when he was there when the manager was reringing our table’s order back up says a lot. I just was floored when he didn’t stop what he was doing so we could leave. I mean what kind of person holds you hostage when you have an overcharge, especially a LARGE one like around $11 worth? As I said, I don’t interrupt servers at a table if I have a problem if I am in the service, but this was after we had paid and wanted to leave, so waiting for him to come back is punishing our time and it’s affecting any tip he would have gotten. Also, it’s not my job to get a manager to fix it, that’s his job. He wants the tip, not us. Plus, he wouldn’t have had *ANY* reason to come back since the service was paid for already. Also, you may say instead of involving him, get a manager, but as I said before, NOT OUR FUCKING JOB to get *HIS* mistake fixed. He wants a tip, *HE* should get the issue fixed and being that we weren’t going to be asked if we needed anything anymore for a while at least, I wasn’t going to just sit there.

          Anyway, just saying that you think I am not a nice person, that waiter was a COMPLETE ASSHOLE FROM THE VERY START by not considering our hunger and thirst time and then not even considering when were were leaving and we ANSWERED his question about if we went to parades. We shouldn’t be obligated to have to answer that if he wanted our money, he should have tried to please *US*, NOT HIMSELF! BOTH of us(me and my husband) agreed about what he did wasn’t right. I mean we waited 15 minutes already for a table. No wonder WHY we waited 15 minutes for a table, because it could have been 10 or 5 minutes if he wouldn’t delay each table he’s at that they can’t order their food right away if the want to. He was a VERY INCONSIDERATE human being. I couldn’t imagine not apologizing if I overcharged someone, especially THAT MUCH MONEY. I couldn’t fathom being that cruel.

  • Lauren

    1. INTRODUCE THEMSELVES BY NAME

    Their text: “Hi, my name’s Glenn and I’ll be your server tonight!” Does anything induce more eye rolls at the table than this sort of chipper opening gambit? We’re going to be in each others’ company for at most a few hours, and preferably about 30 minutes if the meal goes according to plan. This sort of feigned intimacy is just annoying, and always feels a little like a ploy to actually say, “Remember that I am a human being with a name and a family…so don’t stiff me on the tip, you dick!”

    Am I the only person who thinks telling someone your name is in no way a negative? Seriously, who was the genius who wrote this opening because you, sir, are an ass hat. Let’s go over the practical reasons for telling your table your name:

    1. If you fail to provide your name to your table on a shop you automatically fail and get reamed out by your boss for forgetting something so simple.
    2. Not telling your name to the table will cause them to pull over random servers and say, “Hey can you get my waiter? I want to change something on my order and I don’t see him.”. The server will almost always reply with, “Sure, who is your server?” at which point you have a panic attack because the only thing you know is that he is tall with brown hair.

    PS – the reason we tell you our name is for you, dumb ass. Plus, you don’t care about the fact that we’re humans and have families…you tip like shit anyway, so blow me. And there is no instance in the history of man where a table has HOPED to be there no longer than thirty minutes “if everything goes according to plan” and a “few” hours means at least three so make up your fucking mind because my service isn’t that terrible – your ass is just lazy and taking up space.

    2. TOUCH YOU AND THINK IT’S FRIENDLY

    Their text: I don’t need a shoulder rub while you recite the specials, or a playful tap on the arm to show that we’re hitting it off. It’s already distressing enough that you are touching the plate that I’m going to eat off of—let’s not allow the intimacy to get out of control!

    Umm, I’m not sure what kind of restaurants you’ve been frequenting but unless there’s a pole in the middle of your table, no one should be touching you. I have never, nor will I ever, provide a customer with a shoulder rub – seriously, not that kind of Asian. Additionally, if it’s “distressing” that I’m going to be touching the plate – maybe you should have stayed the fuck home so you can be anal somewhere else!

    3. SAY EVERYTHING THAT YOU INQUIRE ABOUT ON THE MENU IS “REALLY AMAZING”

    Their text: Listen here, homie: You should be an enthusiastic booster of the restaurant, sure, but you are not the chef’s personal hype man. Put down the imaginary Flavor Flav clock and chill. We’re already at the restaurant, so presumably we came here because we thought maybe there would be some good food to eat. The sale has been made—now is your time to do your actual, non-shilling job and help us navigate the menu.

    All right, before we go any further – no one says “homie” anymore. This isn’t 1999. Secondly, what does Flavor Flav’s clock have to do with ANYTHING. Who the hell wrote this?

    Anyway, has it ever occurred to you that maybe everything on the menu is actually amazing? Seriously, there are some restaurants where every dish is a good dish. Also, more than likely, you are asking me about the top ten most popular dishes people tend to order so yeah, they’re all pretty good.

    And one more thing – if you’re at a fucking Red Robin, where the main product is a fucking burger, maybe you should go elsewhere for distinctive reviews on the entrees offered that contain words like “succulent” and “luscious”.

    Also – I’m going to be busy getting your drinks, putting in your appetizer, getting you “more napkins” and alerting the kitchen about your semen allergy…so forgive me for assuming that the fact that you’re adults means you can put on your big boy pants and look over a laminated piece of paper (WITH DESCRIPTIONS OF THE FOOD) without adult supervision.

    Read more about my review on: http://ljoysharkey.wordpress.com/2013/01/27/well-isnt-this-interesting/

    • Sarah

      I agree with you, telling someone your name is actually a good thing! I don’t see a problem with it. Even if I go out to eat I prefer to know the server’s name. I also think the server is part of the dining experience… sure, I don’t want the server bugging me every minute, but when I go out I expect to hear their name, specials, have the server check up on me etc… If i didn’t want any human contact than I just would stay in

  • Pingback: Well, isn’t this interesting? « Meet Me In Medias Res

  • Snobby Waiter

    Some of these I can agree with, but I think you have some anger issues that are affecting your story telling abilities :- Also you shouldn’t call out a whole country (Americans) to make a point.

  • Nick, server/bartender

    This article is pathetic. Work a week as a server and you’d want to print this out just to burn it as much as I do right now.

  • Loo

    The reason we greet ourselves is so needy/ignorant customers like whoever wrote this article don’t touch my arm when I walk by (which I might add apparently makes you uncomfortable) and ask for another/more coke or more pepper (which apparently never happens)
    And a nice “thank you” is just common courtesy. If you don’t like it, don’t look at it. God forbid we just try to make your day a little better when in reality we have had a terrible day making sure our costomers are happy.
    I couldn’t help but notice that a lot of these explanations talked about waiters “wanting a bigger tip” but the fact of the matter is waiters are underpaid and under appreciated by the cheap people like whoever wrote this article.

    • Springs1

      “And a nice “thank you” is just common courtesy. If you don’t like it, don’t look at it.”

      It’s not about that, it’s about you wasting ***********MY TIME************** YOU INCONSIDERATE IDIOT. HOW IS IT COMMON COURTESY TO WASTE MY TIME, HUH?

  • http://www.facebook.com/rebecca.mcgar Rebecca Mcgar

    IDIOTS! Most of this our boss or restaurant chain make us do and we don’t even like doing it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/rebecca.mcgar Rebecca Mcgar

    Everyone should have to wait tables a week of their lives and 2 yrs in the military!

  • http://www.facebook.com/april.lamkin April Lamkin

    Wow! The person who keeps writing these things, you are an ignorrant son of a *beep*! Work in a damn restaurant you asshole and maybe you wont be such a douchebag who shouldnt be eating out! You sound like someone who treats your server like garbage leaving them a penny! And by the way, the kitchen does mess up quite a bit! To think a person who doesnt cook your damn food is at fault is so damn ignorant its pathetic!

    • Springs1

      “To think a person who doesnt cook your damn food is at fault is so damn ignorant its pathetic!”

      HOW when servers put in orders wrong? Heck when I worked at a donut shop/diner many years ago, I was guilty of putting in orders wrong.

      • Madeline

        Working at a donut shop isn’t comparable to working as a server in a real restaurant. And when you previously stated that you know how serving is to be done because you dine out quit a bit and watch is like you saying you know how to be a crime scene investigator because you watch C.S.I. People are human and make mistakes in all sorts of jobss. The difference with working in food and beverage is that servers have no set pay. And people expect to be waited on hand and foot for potentially a few bucks.

        • Springs1

          “because you dine out quit a bit and watch is like you saying you know
          how to be a crime scene investigator because you watch C.S.I.”

          NO it’s not. You are comparing watching a game on tv to being in the game. I am not doing that, because I am *IN* the service IDIOT, NOT a spectator watching tv. YOU ARE DUMB!! *I* am receiving my food wrong at my table at times, NOT just watching it STUPID ASS. YOU ARE IGNORANT AND AN IDIOT!!

          • Madeline

            There is no reason to argue with you. Everyone just needs to ignore your trolling existence. You said you “watch” servers do their job, in another post you put on someone’s comment, and in reading your assault against April I decided to comment here.
            Please tell me how I am ignorant to anything that I made a point of.
            And also please tell me how far insulting someone with names has gotten you since being in elementary school.
            You are a deplorable person to debate because all your points are that everyone else on this page is an idiot and for some reason you have a higher intellect than all of us, and just reading through you argued with many college graduates, I myself in school to become a nurse. There for, from this point on I am ignoring your trolling ass and I hope others will follow.
            p.s. I love your story of living at home at 21 and working at a donut shop by the way. That made my night for how much of a loser you truly are.

          • Springs1

            “Please tell me how I am ignorant to anything that I made a point of.”

            Watching someone eating out on tv is just like watching CSI on tv.

            Being *IN* the service at a restaurant is **NOT* BEING A SPECTATOR YOU IDIOT!!

            YOU ARE DUMB!!

            “I am ignoring your trolling ass”

            That’s because you know I PROVED YOU THE FUCK WRONG, ISN’T IT?

      • http://www.facebook.com/mark.taronji Mark Taronji

        That is because you are a MORON.

  • http://www.facebook.com/april.lamkin April Lamkin

    lol, btw idiot, I actually made more money when I wrote “Thank You” notes on the bottoms of checks. :)

    • Springs1

      Did you actually *ASK* the customers if that’s why they tipped more? I have tipped less for them wasting my time if I waited a long time for my check because they decided to waste my time or if I had an overcharge.

      You actually DO NOT TRULY KNOW if that is the reason and you know it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/MissMajestyDivine Maj Esty Divine

    The person who wrote this should 1. Stick to drive throughs. 2. Expect to eat lots of other people’s saliva when dining out. 3. Grab a clue that for 2.13 an hour servers are not your personal servants. 4. If you don’t like the requirements my employer has for me to work there and perform the duties I’m assigned to keep my job then eat at home. 4. I suspect that you are one of those people who tip 2$ on a 150$ bill and expect the server to kiss your ass like you just paid their mortgage payment. If you don’t like the ways company requires us to wait on you pick somewhere else, there are plenty of serve yourself buffets, drive throughs and frozen dinners stay the f-out of our lives because we don’t need self rightcheous pricks to wait on.

    • http://www.facebook.com/shesbenevolent Kate Wright

      Couldn’t have said it better myself.

  • Server01

    This piece is not only insulting, it is ignorant, rude, small minded, and pathetic. I never leave comments, but this hit a nerve. Most of the stuff you listed is in our job description. Try getting a job in a restaurant and see how fast your “opinion” changes. Your perspective on life sucks.

  • Madeline

    Needless to say Mr. Chris Schonberger (the author) has never worked in corporate restaurant, or the restaurant industry period. I believe everyone needs to work at least one gig in a restaurant to understand the life of a server, host, cook, etc. and to understand much of what we say/do is mandated by the restaurant management or corporate offices. Easiest and most encouraged way for changing what you don’t like in a restaurant or even what you do like is giving your feedback by taking the surveys that about EVERY restaurant has by phone or online and let them know how your experience was, instead of coming online and complaining about it in a useless list that was obviously created just to complain and to upset a good amount of hard working people.
    And p.s. I believe you are forgetting that a restaurant is a business to make the most money they possibly can. Just like any other service. If a server wasn’t offering you a soda instead of water or fancier upgrade of mac and cheese they wouldn’t be doing their job.

  • http://twitter.com/burnisthetruth EmanuelBürnGoldstein

    After a decade of serving/bartending, I’ve learned that the thing about “proper service” is that it’s completely specific to the individual. One guest hates when the check gets dropped off before dessert and prefers to ask for the check while the next one hates when he has to ask and feels offended when it doesn’t arrive during the actual meal. Some customers prefer to be hounded every thirty seconds with a server who actually interrupts their conversation to ask if they need anything (“He’s SO attentive!”) while the next prefers to just flag down his server should he need anything (otherwise known as ‘silent service’). The best we in the industry can do is not lose our cool with the assholes, keep a smile on our faces at all times (when in the FOH, at least. LoL!) and try our best to accommodate everyone to the best of our abilities. Even when our customers act like spoiled little children or write ridiculously unfounded personal opinion articles like this one…

  • Jbomb

    Springs1, are you the person that wrote this article, or are you just a troll? Regardless, every single comment you make further enforces what a privileged, sniveling a-hole you are. I have not seen a word of positive of feedback regarding your work in my feed, and it’s all over it. This is coming from someone not in the service industry.

    • urumomo

      the woman is obviously deranged . I usually don’t keep reading this kinda crazy shit but I’ve got a vivid image of her bouncing off the walls with stuff stuck to her sweaty face …. drool . the worx !

    • Springs1

      “Springs1, are you the person that wrote this article, or are you just a troll?”

      Neither.

      “privileged,”

      My TIP MONEY MAKES ME PRIVILEGED IDIOT!!

      When you want things your way, *YOU* come to pay for my tip, OK?

      “sniveling a-hole you are.”

      How am I an asshole to not want my time wasted and for my server to think about my hunger, time, and thirst, huh?

      • dexx

        Actually, I’m sure that most servers would be willing to sacrifice their tip than to raise to your ridiculous standards of confusion. So in a way, I will pay for your tip. So consider yourself not privileged anymore.

  • Cat

    I’ve only read the first thing and I can already say that they’re probably taking your plate because you are yet another stupid douchebag who can’t answer questions. “Can I get that out of your way?” “I’m good.” I’m good…what? “I’m good is the answer I’m giving you because I don’t pay attention and think you’re asking me if I want water?” “I’m good with the amount that I’ve eaten and I want you to get the plate out of my way?” “I’m good with keeping the plate because I still need it?” I have no idea what that means. If I ask you, “Oh, so you are finished eating?” Do NOT look at me with disdain and say “I’m good.” THAT DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING. Speak like an adult. I bet you $10 that is why you’re food is getting taken early. Because people can’t read your mind, you special snowflake princess. And if you’re reading this, wondering how someone could possibly think that this is an appropriate response, I get this from roughly 30% of my customers. I am not exaggerating. So yeah, screw you.

  • Followasmile

    Are you kidding me?? It insults you that we tell you our name?? Are you serious?? What if you need something, have a question, etc?? Do you honestly think its better to not notice the servers name and say “hey you!” Or snap your fingers?? And you want drinks and food already waiting at your table?? Seriously?? First of all, that is unsanitary and disgusting. If they are fresh, that just increases your wait time before getting to your table, which, if it were the case, I am sure you would have a problem with that, too. And what restaurants are you going to where the majority don’t seat you WITH menus?? I have NEVER worked Ina restaurant where the policy was “you need to wait for your waiter.” If you ask me for something, I will get it for you. Same with 99% of the people I have worked with in my life. Unless its a drink that the server needs to ring in, but even then i will tell your server for you. but how will I know who your server is if you don’t even want to know their name!! We ask if you need change because we are NOT psychic. A lot of people do leave exact and, since we don’t just hang out at the table waiting for you to get your money, people get distracted by enjoying their company so we just need to know if we need to bring you change. We have shit to do. Like get people drinks so they don’t have to wait 20 minutes for them. Just tell us if we need to come back to the table or not. We aren’t assuming you are leaving us all of your money. Granted, I prefer saying, “I’ll be right back with this for you” because it sounds better, gets the point across, and a lot of people pay with cards, so th change thing just sounds stupid. And just because someone says, “can I get you another coke?” Doesn’t mean that there aren’t refills. Sometimes people use words. Words that mean the same thing as MORE and REFILL because saying the same damn things a million times gets obnoxious and mundane. If we have to charge for another drink, we HAVE to tell you. People ASSUME everything should just be given to them (like free bread and chips already waiting for them) so if they get a charge on their bill that they ASSUMED was free, they are going to complain and get it taken off their bill. SO WE TELL YOU.

    • Followasmile

      Some of these are ridiculous and a noxious, but are you kidding me with the rest? The first one, especially, is incredibly insulting. And if you don’t like other people touching your plate of food, why the fuck are you going out to eat??

    • Springs1

      “We ask if you need change because we are NOT psychic. A lot of people do
      leave exact and, since we don’t just hang out at the table waiting for
      you to get your money, people get distracted by enjoying their company
      so we just need to know if we need to bring you change. We have shit to
      do. Like get people drinks so they don’t have to wait 20 minutes for
      them. Just tell us if we need to come back to the table or not. We
      aren’t assuming you are leaving us all of your money. Granted, I prefer
      saying, “I’ll be right back with this for you” because it sounds better,
      gets the point across”

      Since you aren’t psychic, why don’t you just do your *******FULL JOB*********** THAT YOU ARE GETTING*************PAID IN THE TIP TO DO, HUH?

      DO NOT ASK THAT!! It makes you look ***********LAZY AS ALL FUCK*******!!

  • Big b

    Waiter got down at eye level with me to take my order….first world problems

  • http://www.facebook.com/djderek D.j. Derek Johns

    Whoever put this list together is a sad excuse for a human being and should be barred from eating in public, forever.

  • pikku lintu

    Don’t worry, soon we’ll have robot servers who won’t act the least bit friendly or human towards you, and won’t dare beep its serial identification numbers upon greeting you.

    • Springs1

      You don’t get it, it’s not about that, it’s about ************DELAYING YOUR FOOD AND DRINKS FROM GETTING TO YOU IDIOT!! Don’t you get it, the less time you take to greet us, the LESS TIME we wait for our food and drinks, IDIOT?

      Talk later on in the service *AFTER* we have ordered and don’t need anything!! THAT WOULD BE MORE CONSIDERATE DON’T YOU AGREE?

      • anonymous

        Nope don’t agree.Fuckers like you just aren’t considerate and are rushing through life. WE ARE REQUIRED TO DO THAT IN THAT ORDER!! IF WE DON’T WE MAY GET FIRED!!!!! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR EFFING THICK SKULL YOU DUMBASSSSS!!!! My job requires this: Hi everyone! How are you doing today? My name is so and so and I’ll be taking care of you today, what can I start you off with to drink (name off our drinks, our specials, our featured beers, then ask for appetizer alllll before we get your drink. Got a problem? Think about your servers livelihood and deal with it. Otherwise I hope that karma is a bitch to you and you end up with no job and homeless on the fucking street in Alaska.

        • Springs1

          “My job requires this: Hi everyone! How are you doing today? My name is
          so and so and I’ll be taking care of you today, what can I start you off
          with to drink (name off our drinks, our specials, our featured beers,
          then ask for appetizer alllll before we get your drink. Got a problem?”

          I don’t have to listen to it for *MY* MONEY, CONTROL FREAK! I don’t give a rat’s ass if the manager wants to try to control my money, I won’t let you!!

          • Fuckyou

            So if you’re at your job, and your boss tells you that you have to do a specific thing, or you’ll get fired…. You wouldn’t do it? I think you’re fucking stupid, or a troll. Your “money” means nothing until it is in the till. Absolutely. Nothing.

            Your money does not make you a better person.

            Your money does not make you more entitled than other people.

            Your money does not buy you faster service.

            A waiter having to deal with a dick like you, who would get soooooo pissed over “hi, my name is Glen” , doesn’t care that you have tons of money. Sure, if they get a tip for TOLERATING you, that’s a bonus, but they aren’t going to be kissing the ground at your feet just because of your “MONEY”

            You accuse people of being “CONTROL FREAK[s]” yet you’re the one demanding a waiter BREAK POLICY to soothe your overgrown ego.

            Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

          • Springs1

            ” You wouldn’t do it?”

            I wouldn’t work for someone that is *CONTROLLING* **********SOMEONE ELSE’S MONEY********** that are *******PAYING******** FOR THEIR TIME THERE CALLED A TIP!!

            “Your money does not make you more entitled than other people.”

            It does to people that stiff or leave a crappy tip like 10% for good service, it sure the FUCK DOES!

            “Your money does not buy you faster service.”

            It sure does. I have seen blogs of servers say that “a person will give me a $20 bill, I am going to ignore these others for that $20 bill customer.” This was a bartender that said that. MONEY TALKS!

            “Your “money” means nothing until it is in the till. Absolutely. Nothing.”

            Then you’d only make $2.13/hr, so that’s not going to pay your bills, is it?

            “A waiter having to deal with a dick like you,”

            WHY do you want *CONTROL*, HUH? If *YOU* were paying my tip, *THEN* you can delay our time. You are the dick that is VERY INCONSIDERATE, ********VERY******** INCONSIDERATE of customer’s thirst and hunger.

            WHY have to answer how we are doing? Just get my shit. That’s your job.

            It’s a job. It doesn’t have to be the way *YOU* want it. It has to be the way **********THE PERSON THAT IS ***********************PAYING THE TIP********************** WANTS IT DUMMY CONTROL FREAK!!

            WHO are *(YOU)* to tell me how I want ***********MY MONEY*********** SPENT, HUH? I don’t tell my server how to spend their money. Don’t tell me how to spend mine.

            “who would get soooooo pissed over “hi, my name is Glen” ,”

            I didn’t say I got pissed over that if you *READ* what I said. I get pissed at them asking you “How you are doing today” and ESPECIALLY THIS FUCKING QUESTION which THANKFULLY almost no one does ask “HAVE YOU BEEN HERE BEFORE?” It’s WASTING TIME!

            *YOU* are being an INCONSIDERATE DICK by asking that shit. JUST SAY “My name is such-n-such, I will be your server today, Can I start you all off with something to drink such as a top shelf margarita?” That’s it. You don’t need to know we have been here a zillion times. You don’t need to know how we are doing. That’s not your business. It’s not your money paying for our time there, it’s *OURS*, so *WE* get to control the money if you want that money at the end.

            You have to please, so then we can please you with a nice tip. It’s a give and take thing.

            “You accuse people of being “CONTROL FREAK[s]” yet you’re the one demanding a waiter BREAK POLICY to soothe your overgrown ego.”

            No, *WE* RULE how our time is there. I didn’t say break policy. I said STOP asking MORE than what you need to. JUST ASK US WHAT WE WANT TO DRINK AND TELL US YOUR NAME, THAT’S IT! We don’t need to answer if we have been there before or how we are doing. JUST SHUT UP AND GET OUR SHIT. THAT WILL MAKE *YOU* HAVE MORE TIPS THE FASTER WE ARE OUT OF THERE. It’s to *YOUR* benefit to get the orders in faster so you can make more money IDIOT!

            You don’t need to ask how we are doing. If I don’t know my server, WHY would I want to be friends with them just yet if I don’t know if they are going to be a caring, non-lazy worker or not, huh? I only want the servers and bartenders that we KNOW to ask us that. The people we don’t know a lot of times do suck.

            WHY are you *MAKING* people answer the questions when *YOU* want their money, huh? I mean if you were paying *US* the tip, THEN we’d gladly suffer through the TIME DELAYS, but a lot of people don’t have the time like at lunch time, they are on their lunch break. They don’t have bullshit time to answer shit like that. EVERY MINUTE COUNTS that NOW another server beat you to the punch and put an order into the computer and mine is delayed a lot more just because of that one order even. You are VERY INCONSIDERATE and aren’t thinking about that you are FORCING people to be friendly.

            WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE TO BE FRIENDLY? Can’t it just be “Hi my name is such-n-such I will be your server today, can I start you all off with something to drink(whatever upsell you have to do)?

            I had a waitress once we were ready to order when greeted, she at least *ASKED* us(HAD THE DECENCY TO) if we wanted to hear the specials rather than pissing us off by delaying us.

            BE CONSIDERATE, BE CONSIDERATE, BE CONSIDERATE!

            NOT EVERYONE HAS TO WANT WHAT *YOU* WANT IN THE SERVICE!

            It’s not up to you since you aren’t paying for our time there, it’s up to *US*!

          • dexx

            I think you’re probably the only person in the world who would ever say “why do people have to be friendly?” Usually we get tipped because we weren’t friendly. To me, you have it backwards. If the server wasn’t friendly and just did the bare minimum, didn’t bother to have personality, THAT would be treating you like you were just a way to make money for them. It’s the servers that go out of their way to show that they care about their customers as people and not just a means to an end that I think are being.. considerate… So I guess your point just seems flawed. If you’re in a hurry and don’t want to hear the specials just say so. So much yelling over something so ridiculous. it would be the same as me yelling at you because you put tonnes of ******* those around your words because oh man, I could read your comments faster if you didn’t use those. It’s all just pointless.

  • http://www.facebook.com/will.holmes.37625 Will Holmes

    Introduce themselves by name.

    - If I had a nickel for every time I didn’t give my name
    and the guests later ask for it or was annoyed that they didn’t know it, then I
    wouldn’t have to serve. There is another gripe in this article about how the
    employees don’t work as a team, but it’s a bit difficult when a table flags
    down a hostess and asks to see there server unexpectedly; the hostess will ask
    “Who was your server?” and then the awkward attempts to describe what your
    server looked like begins. We are TOLD to give our names. And yes I am a human
    being god dammit, not SERVER UNIT 8734.2-A, I have a name and this whole
    experience will be easier in the long run if you know it.

    Touch you and think it’s friendly.

    - I don’t do this unless I absolutely have to and even then it is a light touch to the elbow or fore arm, never above never below. But if you are distressed about someone touching your plate, think how distressed we are realizing that your saliva and filthy “Not washed regularly” hands have been all over the plate when we pick it up hundreds of times throughout the day.

    Say everything that you inquire about on the menu
    is “really amazing.”

    - Did you even bother to read the menu before you started asking me a bunch of stupid questions? Could you ask better questions than “Is this good?” Further still have you ever had to face down your boss after he catches you not giving a sterling review of the menu items? Many of the things expressed here about servers are actually things that they are ORDERED to do and if they don’t relay everything glowingly they get the whip for it. If you have read the menus PROPERLY and still don’t know what to get ask the server “What’s your favorite item on the menu?” or “What would you recommend?” Not “Is this good?” or “What does this taste like?”

    Wait forever to take your drink order, bring menus,
    or offer water.

    – Yes because that’s what I look forward to, extra dishes for no reason, customers snapping “I didn’t order water!” or approaching a table that can’t get their shit together and SIT DOWN or get off their cell phone. All servers have to greet the table within a minute, two if they are busy. Everyone has a staple drink they order when they go to a restaurant, order it and THEN look at the cocktail menu, but no I am not working harder instead of smarter just because you can’t have patience.

    Ask you if you’ve dined there before and if you
    “know how the restaurant works.”

    - Again this is another ORDER from management to ask these questions. The assumption that this is a blanket code for “We’re trying to fuck you over” is generalized and self serving to support a petty argument. I worked at a famous tourist restaurant in Louisville and we asked that all the time to (Gasp) be a bit more interpersonal with our guests. Themed or specialty restaurants need to ask this to ensure there isn’t any awkwardness for the guest so as to increase the chances of a pleasant experience. Further still asking questions such as “What brings you folks out today/this evening?” helps you to better gauge your customers time table so you can know whether to hustle a little faster or slow it down so as
    to not be a pest. If you don’t ask questions you don’t have answers and without
    answers you or your guests could be left spinning in the wind.

    Tell you to wait for “your waiter” when
    you ask for something.

    - That person you flagged down, grabbed by the shirt sleeve, snapped your fingers at or hollered at to come help you, was in the middle of running their ass off to help someone else and ‘surprise’ don’t have time to drop everything to wait on you as if you were the only customer in the restaurant. Now if said person tells you “I will let
    your server know, or I’ll be sure to tell your server” then you need to be
    grateful for that; most people will say right away, nod and smile and then turn
    around and completely forget you even existed to return to the work they were
    doing in the first place. It also helps to be sure to request EVERYTHING you
    need when the server drops the food off and asks “Is there anything else I can
    get you?” instead of making them run twenty times for each individual thing.
    And no, no one is going to go the extra mile to help everyone when they only
    get a pittance on the hour and are more heavily dependent upon the tips of
    THEIR customers and not you. Your waiter is YOUR WAITER; that doesn’t mean the hostess or thebus boy are as well.

    Squat, take a knee, or sit down at your table.

    - This is the stupidest complaint ever. Yes it is a bit weird for a server to join you in the booth I’ll admit, and yes the claim gives leeway to establishments that have made this a common practice for charm but this just reeks of “Ew, the servant is trying to be human with me”. And it is dead wrong to call a server “creepy” because
    they respect your child enough to speak to them at eye level instead of
    towering over them. Children are guests too and maybe, just maybe, they want to
    be talked to, not over.

    Go straight for the upsell.

    - Again this is something we are ORDERED to do. I personally hate being forced to sell shoes to amputees but if I don’t comply with company policy then I have no job. So how about you just let me do my schtick and just politely say “no thank you” and we can move on. Don’t demand of me to risk my employment just because you don’t want to be bothered. And yes, bigger checks mean bigger tips, so yeah sorry I want to pay my bills.

    Make you feel like a criminal because you ordered
    just drinks, or just dinner, instead of seven courses and four bottles of wine.

    - If you want ‘just a drink’ go sit at the bar. If you’re eating lite be quick about it. And yeah being yelled at by your boss for not meeting sales isn’t the diner’s problem,
    but making the sale is in the diners hands so realize that someone else is
    being punished because you wanted to be cheap or inconvenient. And yes if you
    order a soda and nothing else and occupy a table in my section for hours, then
    I am going to hate you. That also goes for people who have finished their meal
    and decide to camp out with their chatting. You do get treated equally no
    matter what you spend; you come in we serve you, you eat, now make room for
    others who wish to do the same and remember that your screwing with someone’s
    income by demanding that you don’t have to be considerate of their time.

    Ask if you need change

    - Yes it is the guest’s duty to let us know if they want change, but so very often they aren’t paying the least bit of attention when we come to grab the check. I always make sure to SAY (not ask) “I’ll be right back with your change”, to prompt the guest to either say “No change” or “Ok thank you”. If you leave it hanging in the air
    though (As so often customers do) then we are going to inquire.

    Talk about specials without telling you the price.

    - The specials are ALWAYS expensive. If you’re not prepared to spend money then don’t eat out. However I will relent on this one and agree it would be courteous to share the prices.

    Take your plate away before you are finished.

    - This is a stupid thing for a server to do. I always ask “may I take this out of your way?” or I take a visual cue from the napkin being set on the plate and even then I still ask. It is also stupid for a server to just assume you are throwing anything out and you should always be offered a box even for little things. However guests need
    to COMMUNICATE with us. We aren’t psychic.

    Over share about their day, their job, or their
    life beyond the restaurant.

    - Oh I’m sorry was I being too human again? I agree with not lamenting about the ills of your work, but if a customer pulls me into a conversation or asks me personal questions I am not going to stone cold wall up just for the sake of professionalism. There are limits of course but to just whole sale dismiss any extra conversation as
    inappropriate is snotty and it is presumptuous to put the full responsibility
    of the nature of verbal interactions on the server.

    Try to pass of their mistakes.

    - This is a double edge sword of yet again, presumption. The BIGGEST problem with problems is that guests ALWAYS blame the server and take it out on them by stiffing them. Yes the kitchen backs up, yes the bartender forgot to make that drink and yes server make mistakes too. But more often than not the one who bears the
    punishment for such mistakes is the server. We do what we have to save our
    income. Most servers are told to not give details about delays or mistakes but that
    never works because customers always demand an explanation. So we give one, and no it isn’t always the truth because the real reason may be unpleasant all around and guests will look for the slightest thing to reprieve themselves from tipping. Again to state that the server is always lying to you or passing the buck is a presumption that hurts us.

    Go H.A.M. with the pepper and Parmesan.

    - No argument here, but it helps if the customer is paying attention.

    Write a nice message on the receipt with hearts
    dotting the i’s and smiley faces all over the place.

    - Based on the whole of this article I can assume that this person has NEVER worked in the industry and doesn’t know what it’s like to rely on a simple message in the hope that it will crack the miserly shell of an obviously short tipper. As a male server I have never been interested in writing messages on my ticket, females tend to do this more. Despite the obvious need to abstain from hearts and smileys a simple message of “thank you!’ or “Have a wonderful day” is that little extra step of
    service that we put in there to not only have the guest’s stay with us be
    enjoyable but their departure as well. The article writer demands more care and
    then laments the care given. And as stated before in certain instances it DOES
    help the tip.

    Hit on your date.

    - No argument here.

    Fold your napkin for you when you get up.

    - No argument here. I only
    want to touch your filthy napkin once when I clean the table.

    Ask if you’d like “another” Coke instead
    of “more” Coke.

    - This is an over estimation of the guest’s observation skills. My former
    workplace offered free refills on soda, but ala carte juice and milk. How many
    times did I have to deal with an irritated customer and their bill when they
    ordered 3 O.J.’s not knowing they weren’t refilled for free? Too many times to
    remember them all. So yes, we say “another” for ala carte, and “more” for free.
    We ask because we need to know as much as possible to make your experience the best it can be. Remember WE ARE NOT PSYCHIC. I have even had instances where I brought the customer another refill on assumption only to have them tell me they don’t want it, or they leave it there to melt; so I wasted product and I
    have more mess to bus.

    Disappear.

    - Fair enough, but if we were there in sight at all times someone would complain about servers hovering.

    Like I said this person sounds like some stuck up self righteous “guest” who feels that the standard of practice should fit their specific preferences. The writer doesn’t want to be bothered with acknowledging that their server is a person. The writer also seems to be completely ignorant of the fact that the server doesn’t cook the food, set the prices, or isn’t the only person to make mistakes. oh and the- (I’m a cheap skate, so what?) comment totally belies the writers true nature; someone who has never served a day in their life and is just a stones throw away from stiffing on a bill with their own message of “Get a real job” scrawled on the receipt.

    • Springs1

      “It also helps to be sure to request EVERYTHING you need when the server drops the food off and asks “Is there anything else I can get you?” instead of making them run twenty times for each individual thing.”

      Most servers don’t ***********WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN*********** is my problem. I ask for MANY things at once and a lot of times servers forget shit, not because they actually “TRIED” to remember by writing things down, they wing it and don’t write it down.

      May I ask do you go with your pad of paper with your pen when you ask “Is there anything else I can get you all?” If you don’t, to you realize WHY you may not be getting all the request, because even I at times have not asked for everything, because I am just sick of the servers forgetting things due to not even TRYING to remember what I said?

      If you had your pad and pen ready, I really think you’d have more people asking for many more things at once, honestly and you can *OFFER* things that the customer may not think of. Like if one person wants a refill asking you, but the other person may just want a fresh one even if it’s near empty even to OFFER them a refill too.

      “- Yes it is the guest’s duty to let us know if they want change,”

      NO, we don’t have to let you know SHIT!! You are too assume we want change as you get change EVERYWHERE ELSE In this world, WHY because you make tips, that makes you get to keep change all of a sudden, huh?

      It is NOT our duty to tell you that. My husband and I hardly ever pay with cash, but when we once paid with (2) $20 gift certificates when our bill was $34.69, the waiter only gave us $5 back shorting our change by 31 cents. Ever since then if we ever pay with cash, I will TEST my server to see if they are going to be a THIEF like that or not and also seeing how lazy they really are as well as irresponsible to bring enough coins on them or too lazy to go to the bar to get the change.

      I don’t understand how you think it’s our duty to do ANYTHING? We are tipping. It’s not our duty to tell you we don’t need change. You should assume *************EVERYONE WANTS THEIR CHANGE********** and if they leave it all, guess what ****YOU HAVE **********EARNED************* THAT PART OF THE TIP THEY JUST LEFT YOU BY ********************************WORKING*************************** FOR IT INSTEAD OF BEING LAZY ON THE JOB!!

      “it will crack the miserly shell of an obviously short tipper.”

      So you finally admitting it’s a **********SELFISH********** ACT, huh? It’s only for the tip. They don’t even mean it even and it wastes TIME that could be better spent on getting refills for another table, getting the customer’s check that is waiting to leave faster, etc.

      The service isn’t up to the server to have that time wasted of theirs. It’s a waste of time.

      Once I had a waitress write “thank you” and signed her name on the check and she overcharged me. What happened was she put a shot on the bill that was for the table next to us, but yet, she FOUND THE TIME TO WORRY ABOUT DOODLING INSTEAD OF MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THINGS. She got a stiff. If you are more worried about JUST YOUR MONEY, then you won’t have OURS!! If you have time to do that, you have time to try to catch an error on the bill.

      “But more often than not the one who bears the punishment for such mistakes is the server.”

      Because most of the time it is the server’s fault. I didn’t say always, I said MOST, because most food errors you can notice WITHOUT touching the food like a wrong side dish, missing ranch, bbq sauce on ribs but the customer ordered no bbq sauce, etc. If you bring out the food and took my order, you can notice these type of things to get the kitchen staff to correct them *BEFORE* you leave the kitchen with them.

      “- If you want ‘just a drink’ go sit at the bar.”

      NO, we are customers that can sit ANYWHERE WE WANT. WHY should we have to sit around others if I we want privacy and plus a lot of states out there have smoking in restaurants, so that means, there’s NO FUCKING ASS WAY I WANT TO BREATH THAT SHIT IN MY FACE. I DO NOT SMOKE and I don’t feel I should be subjected to bringing that crap right by me. Let me sit in an non-smoking section as my RIGHT is. You are not thinking about anyone’s health or happiness except for your own.

      We have gotten just drinks LOTS of times at tables. I don’t have to sit at the bar if I don’t want to.

      WHO the FUCK ARE YOU TO BE A CONTROL FREAK LIKE THAT TO TELL ME HOW I WANT TO SPEND MY TIME AND MONEY, HUH?

      • Charlotte

        Why do you type the way you do? So many asterisks and caps. Why?

      • urumomo

        you might talk to your doctor about adjusting your meds….your life may improve.

      • Fifi

        My wife is taking psychiatric nursing this semester! We are going to print off your comments and send it to her professor. I think we are detecting Antisocial Personality Disorder, A touch of General Anxiety Disorder. Probably of a mix of Narcissistic and maybe a hint of Borderline Personality Disorder. I hope your case study gets her and “A” on her case study project. Thank you for being such a good specimen to study.

        • Springs1

          Fifi
          ” I think we are detecting Antisocial Personality Disorder, A touch of
          General Anxiety Disorder. Probably of a mix of Narcissistic and maybe a hint of Borderline Personality Disorder. I hope your case study gets her and “A” on her case study project. Thank you for being such a good specimen to study.”

          You have a disorder, it’s called ******************CONTROL FREAK DISORDER************* that you have to have control over someone else’s money.

          It’s not your service, it’s *OURS*, so we should be able to have it in EVERY WAY**************WE************DESIRE, NOT YOU!

          Customer service is just that **************CUSTOMER***************** SERVICE, NOT to please the server. If it was about pleasing the server we wouldn’t be tipping, would we? Do you pay for things you don’t receive? Most SMART people wouldn’t.

          It’s not about pleasing you, it’s about pleasing *US*! STOP CONTROLLING OUR HARD EARNED MONEY AND LET *****US***********RULE YOU ON EACH INSTRUCTION OF WHAT TO DO NEXT! WE RULE YOU! YOU SERVERS ARE AT OUR MERCY IF YOU WANT OUR MONEY IDIOT! YOU HAVE TO DO AS *WE* SAY! WE CONTROL YOU FOR THE MONEY *YOU* WANT!

          Think about it.

          You are narcissistic because you think serving is just about *YOU* the server. WHY is that, huh? Serving is about *CUSTOMER SERVICE* not about what YOU WANT. YOU REALLY HAVE SOME CONTROL ISSUES!

          I bet you order for your customers like you probably give refills without having the customer’s consent, don’t you? If you do, you are a control freak. If you give the check without asking first, that’s control. If you give the customer water with asking them or them ordering it, you are a control freak.

          Understand that service is *NOT* about you, it’s about ************************THE CUSTOMER*************************, STUPID INCONSIDERATE IDIOT?

  • AngryWaiter

    Mr. Schonberger, you are a misinformed self-entitled ass. What’s your next article? “10 Annoying Things Garbagemen Do”? “20 Worst Things Crab Fishermen Say”? You should be refused service in all the restaurants in the world. Or get fired from your writing job ( It’s “Try to pass OFF your mistakes”, not “Try To Pass OF your mistakes”, learn to write), and be forced to work in an intesive, high-end restaurant.

  • http://www.facebook.com/gina.vitielliss Gina Vitielliss

    I am so disgusted with this article, you clearly have never been a server in your entire life, if you had you would never have posted this. It’s funny, because 1/2 of the complaints you had we talk about. Do you really think I want to tell you my name? Especially in the beginning of the meal, if you were pleasant I would be more than happy to give you my name at the end of the meal, this way I would hope you would ask for me next time… But after this article I suggest you introduce yourself first , every server will know your name eventually and when you introduce yourself first we can make sure we give you the shittiest service ever. Please don’t ask what is good on the menu our taste buds are different I have had almost everything on the menu and of course everything is going to better than the McDonald’s I usually eat every night when I get off work. I don’t seem to feel the need to include prices on the features, they are features for a reason, they are going to be pricy, and you will look like an idiot when asked. If you are looking for a “deal” hit up a happy hour somewhere or go to one of my faves.. McDonalds. So I could sit here and post everything I can to defend my job, but I know that’s not going to have any impact on a complete douche bag like yourself . Let me post this for those of you who agree and tell you what we hate as servers
    1. I hate when u ask for bread before I even pick up the menus, bread is more expensive than a bag of chips, you dot come in to fill up on bread, u are there to order. You get one loaf and while you might be starving you get this between the app and dinner/ with a salad to patch up the time u are waiting for your meal.
    2. Don’t sit there forever! And if you do… Tip accordingly, the longer u sit the less money I am making. We don’t work together where we pull tips and everyone leaves happy.
    3. Tip 20% if the service is good! You do know we don’t get a paycheck and we have to tip out the hosts / bartenders at the end of the night.
    Dude, the list can go on and on so there really isn’t a point to add to my list. Just like there isn’t a point to yours, bottom line is you are a cheap, ignorant, douche bag who probably takes everything for granted. No one is perfect, no one loves to serve but most of us do for the extra cash, we are in school, graduates with a degree with no “real” job yet, single mothers, fuck ups… We are a bunch of misfits, but at least we are trying to make your day a little better by telling you our name, asking if this is your first time here so we can go over the menu with you, bringing you water and bread, taping you on the shoulder cuz we probably felt awkward , asking if you need change cuz we aren’t experienced yet. You are a douche bag. And I hope you never write another article cuz your topics suck.

    • Springs1

      “1. I hate when u ask for bread before I even pick up the menus, bread is
      more expensive than a bag of chips, you dot come in to fill up on
      bread, u are there to order.”

      That’s part of the **********************TIP******************** YOU STUPID, LAZY IDIOT!!

      NO, we are there to have the service the way *********************WE****************************** WANT IT CONTROL FREAK BITCH!! FUCK YOU!!

      WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO TELL US HOW TO RUN SERVICE *************WE************** ARE PAYING YOUR ASS!!

      WHEN YOU PAY OUR TIP, ***********THEN************* YOU CAN TELL US HOW YOU WANT THINGS. Is that understood CONTROL FREAK BITCH, HUH?

      “2. Don’t sit there forever! And if you do… Tip accordingly,”

      NO, tips are for ************SERVICE**************, NOT FOR JUST SITTING. If anything, if there were rental fees, it would go the **********RESTAURANT********** just like when you rent a private room for a private party.

      You don’t have to tip more and you shouldn’t unless you get that amount of service. If someone let’s say doesn’t get anymore service at all like they don’t want anything else for an extra hour let’s say, that’s not service, so no one in their right mind tips on a service they don’t receive. If you do, you are dumb as rock!!

      If I am done, I just leave. I don’t sit. I don’t feel the people that do sit should pay you more for doing absolutely **********NOTHING************ for them after they have paid.

      Now, obviously, if they want more service like refills or bread for example, OF COURSE you should tip more then as long as the service was at least decent.

      “but at least we are trying to make your day a little better asking if this is your first time here so we can go over the menu with you,”

      But you are AGGRAVATING the REGULAR CUSTOMERS and NO RESTAURANT IS REALLY THAT DIFFERENT THAN ANY OTHER EXCEPT for places like “The Melting Pot” which is a fondue restaurant I have heard(never been to it) can take up to 2 hours, but otherwise, WHY should it matter if we have been there before or not? It takes up **********OUR HUNGER AND THIRST TIME*********, so BE CONSIDERATE AND STOP ASKING THAT SHIT! NO ONE WANTS THAT. WHY DO YOU THINK IT’S SO RARE? It’s not that often me and my husband get that, which have been going out to eat 2-3 times a weekend at times since late 2000.

      Imagine waiting for a table for an hour and your server asks that. HOW WOULD **********YOU************** FEEL WHEN YOU WAITED ALL DAY TO EAT ALMOST OR POSSIBLY YOU DID AND IT’S 8p.m. AT NIGHT, HUH? I bet you would appreciate a server more than just cuts to the chase “Hi my name is such-n-such, Can I start you all off with something to drink?” THAT’S IT!! You don’t need to say anything more. Saying your name the thing is, most people aren’t going to remember your name, therefore, it’s not like it’s going to help much, HONESTLY. I am very bad with short term memory with names, so are most people. The only reason why I say to say your name is because usually that’s a requirement of the job and if the people do remember it, it may help in that regard if they need them.

      So our day isn’t “brighter” by you asking if we have been there before. It’s STUPID. Do you realize we have been asked that only twice at Red Lobster and we have gone there a zillion times, like I am 35yrs old and I remember going at like 14yrs old even. Seriously, it’s a STUPID QUESTION THAT WASTES *********VALUABLE TIME*********** THAT YOU COULD BE GETTING REFILLS FASTER FOR ANOTHER TABLE, THEIR CHECK FASTER, OUR FOOD AND DRINKS INSTEAD OF WASTING OUR TIME, ETC. WHY ASK THAT SHIT? IT DOESN’T MATTER!! IT DOESN’T!! IT’S NOT ANYONE’S BUSINESS IF WE HAVE BEEN TO THE RESTAURANT BEFORE. IT’S NOT!!

      “asking if you need change cuz we aren’t experienced yet.”

      It’s *********COMMON SENSE AS A CUSTOMER IDIOT************! You don’t need to be experienced as a server to know not to ask for your tip IDIOT!! YOU ARE DUMB!

      “bringing you water and bread”

      You should only be doing that if the customer wants those things. Don’t waste their time if they don’t want it. ALWAYS *ASK*, NEVER **ASSUME*** ANYTHING!!

      • Anon.

        What is wrong with you? Why are you so mad?? Were you not breastfed as a child??

        • Springs1

          Anon

          “Why are you so mad?”

          Because servers should be *CONSIDERATE*, *NICE*, *THOUGHTFUL*, *CARING, *NOT LAZY*, ETC.

          Why do you think, huh?

  • Person

    This is an awful article from someone who has clearly NEVER waited tables. #1 – god forbid you treat your server like a person who has an actual name. Thats so beneath you. What ever happened to snapping your fingers and yelling “waitress!” #10 – Actually, getting your tip from change now or 5 min later DOES matter to a server. If you don’t need change, beat the server to the punch and say you don’t need it. Don’t make a BUSY server grab a BUSY manager to go to the office, open the safe, and break your $50 bill if you’re just going to leave the change on the table as a tip. It is RUDE.

    • Springs1

      “Don’t make a BUSY server grab a BUSY manager to go to the office, open
      the safe, and break your $50 bill if you’re just going to leave the
      change on the table as a tip. It is RUDE.”

      NO, it’s ***********YOUR FUCKING ASS JOB LAZY ASS************!!

      ******************WORK******************** FOR YOUR MONEY LAZY ASS, *****************WORK**************!!

      The bar(which most places do have a bar in general) I am pretty sure would have a $20 bill and some $10′s or 5′s.

      HOW DARE YOU TELL US HOW WE WANT OUR SERVICE!!

      WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO TELL US HOW TO RUN THE SERVICE WHEN YOU WANT OUR MONEY AND ***************WE**************** ARE **********PAYING************* FOR THE SERVICE?

      WHAT AN ASSHOLE YOU ARE, THAT’S RIGHT, ***********YOU***********LAZY ASS THAT DOESN’T WANT TO **************EARN*************** THEIR PAY!!

      • Charlotte

        This is so strange. You’ve put so much effort into coming across as angry as possible. Why are you spending your time doing this if your time is so valuable?

        It’s stuff like this that makes me sad for our spoiled culture. Your energy is spent on ranting insanely on the internet about standard sever behavior… and you’re so worked up about it! You care so much about this small aspect of everyday life. If only that energy could go toward making the world better instead of perpetuating your awfulness.

        • anonymous

          oh thank god for you. thank you for pointing that one out!! I’ve been wanting to say it this whole time!!

      • yeesh

        You’re hammered.

        Put down the cosmo.

      • dexx

        Lady look… you keep calling servers lazy, but they had a point about how making the super busy server run for change that you will leave anyways is pointless. I can say every weekend when I am slammed I am liturally jogging through the restaraunt to keep up with everything. So you can’t call us lazy because you want us to neglect giving other tables good service just so that you can get everything exactly how you want it. If there are seven other tables who also want pristine service we need to find ways to balance that. It’s not being lazy, it’s being realistic. Yes there are some servers who are legitimately lazy and entitled. But you are going beyond wanting good service, to wanting us to read your mind and expect us to skip “friendly things” so that you can get out the door faster, but instead having us do more unnessecary things such as getting change that you were going to leave anyway. Trust me, when servers are busy, they want nothing more than to get you out the door so that they can have even 1 minute of breathing room before the table is re-sat.

  • Rob

    Schonberger, it’s painfully obvious you’ve never had to work for a tip before. Instead of complaining about service, why don’t you try stepping into a server’s shoes? Having experience regarding what you are sharing about might prevent you from writing ignorant articles like this one in the future.

    Have a great day!

  • Nikki

    Hello you’re dumb, servers are forced to do half this stuff. Do I care if you rude people know my name? Sure don’t but I get fired if I get secret shipped and don’t tell them who I am. We don’t care if you’ve ever been there, again, forced. Try annoying things servers are forced to do by companies.

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  • Heather

    This is absolutely absurd. I think servers should come criticize everything you do in your job. There are so many things on this “list of things that piss you off” that are REQUIRED! So while i’m sure you feel great about writing this little piece you can stay home and fuck yourself. Trust me when I say the service industry doesn’t need you or your criticism.

  • Bdubs waitress.

    There are somethings in here that I can agree with. However, in the restaurant I work at it is not a code to charge you for another drink it’s no can I actually provide you with another drink you are looking a bit low. Another thing. Many of the things you have listed here servers must do. It is a part of their list of things that must be done when they are at a table. Yes including the name thing. If we don’t there is a fear that you may be a secret shopper. I don’t know about any of you other servers out there but if we fail, we’re fired. Simple as that. And I’m sorry I’m not sacrificing my job over your assholery. Simple as that. I think that the asking if you need change though is just an extreme no-no. Rude. I simply say that I will be back with change and either they say I don’t need any or take your time. As for the silverware- at my restaurant the greeters are supposed to take care of that and most of the time I end up doing it, so keep that in mind and don’t dock tips for some stupid silverware. HA! Bread? That would not be our fault sir. Try a fancier restaurant. Specials should always be named with the price. Period. Messages on checks at my restaurant are encouraged by management although I simply put a thank you have a great day! Yet one more thing, NEVER, and I repeat NEVER just assume that it is ALWAYS the fault of your server. More often than not it is the kitchen who screws up or the bartender is backed up for me. I have no problem freely admitting if I have made a mistake and I will let them know. Too many fuckers like you sir just assume shit and think everything that goes on the restaurant MUST be the fault of the server. Sorry that I don’t hold every position and therefore control all aspects of your service but sometimes shit just isn’t my fault. I like to give personal service and host every table as if they were at my own home to eat. more often than not, I have found that this yields higher tips and many regulars. Seriously get a life. I’d like for you to take a server job for a minimum of two weeks and see how it goes. You have to go through all of this by the book. I challenge you. Come on! Then write an article about that and we’ll see how you feel!

    • Springs1

      “As for the silverware- at my restaurant the greeters are supposed to
      take care of that and most of the time I end up doing it, so keep that
      in mind and don’t dock tips for some stupid silverware.”

      That’s our server’s job to notice we don’t have anything to eat with, NOT ANYONE ELSE’S JOB!!

      “Messages on checks at my restaurant are encouraged by management although I simply put a thank you have a great day!”

      So it’s not “REQUIRED” then, huh?

      The managers hate complaints, but then they want to make the customers wait to leave, GEE HOW STUPID OF THEM, DON’T YOU AGREE?

      “More often than not it is the kitchen who screws up or the bartender is backed up for me.”

      That’s just not true and you know it. Most mistakes you can notice **********WITHOUT*********** TOUCHING THE FOOD OR BAR DRINK and you know that is THE GOD’S TRUTH!!

      More often, it’s your server that messed up whether they put in the order wrong, forgot to put in the order, brought out the wrong item, forgot something in your order that was obvious(like a side of ranch), etc. THAT IS THE GOD’S TRUTH AND YOU KNOW IT!!

      • Heather

        Actually it isn’t. This person didn’t ask you to criticize their comment, why are you being an asshole?

  • http://www.facebook.com/jagerfrogger Robert Yager

    I came to this site just to tell you that whoever wrote this article needs to be thrown to the sharks. Obviously has zero idea what its like to work as a server or even in a restaurant.

  • lovin

    We have to introduce ourselves. And have you considered shutting the drink menu? That’s what tells us you are ready to order. Also, we don’t choose whether there’s bread (or chips and salsa) on the table. That’s the restaurant.

    • Springs1

      “Also, we don’t choose whether there’s bread (or chips and salsa) on the table.”

      YOU DO MORON WHEN YOU *********TAKE IT TO US IDIOT!! Even if you have to greet with it, you can still ********ASK********* BEFORE************ PUTTING IT DOWN ON OUR TABLE IDIOT!!

      THAT IS **********NOT*************** THE RESTAURANT, THAT’S THE INCONSIDERATE SERVER IDIOT!!

      • dexx

        I think what he meant was that some restaraunts don’t have complimentary buns or chips.

  • lovin

    OH, and chances are, if you are at a table without menus, you sat yourself and don’t belong there.

  • jacecadeiux

    Obviously the author of this article hasn’t done any real hard labor in his life time, or else he wouldn’t be ripping common concepts of human decency to shreds. Get over yourself.

  • http://www.facebook.com/shesbenevolent Kate Wright

    You are the actual worst.

  • http://www.facebook.com/shesbenevolent Kate Wright

    Poor me it’s SUCH a drag to be privileged enough to eat out

  • Julius

    what are you even talking about dude? a high concept restaurant can’t have a specific way to order? that way you won’t get pissed when you get 3 shrimp and look at me like i’m the idiot. you’re the idiot chris. You’re so low brow it’s actually disgusting. Must be what happens when a) you write for a food blog and b) have never served before. Can’t believe it’s that hard for you to know my name because I always get asked. by whom? decent people who’ve worked in the service industry and want to make the whole thing pleasant. if i try to act all impersonal and slavish — like you suggest — people think i’m weird. you want me to get on the table and sing mammy for you? sometimes the kitchen is backed up, hell i don’t even run my own food but i get blamed for it. blame me? sure. I bet that makes you feel better. Let’s sneer at the waiter while he’s gone. That’ll make us feel good about our pathetic fucking lives. Asking if you want change turns an awkward ordeal into a one word response. Getting change sucks and it’s difficult, during a rush I don’t have the time to cater to all of your little idiosyncrasies. I have to hit the bar in order to do it and I don’t make extra trips because i’m invading your space. Also i’ve never been to a restaurant where a tap doesn’t give you unlimited sodas and WHO CARES. don’t act so self-righteous about it you jabroni, white people problems like I wouldn’t believe. ehrherme he said another instead of refill 10 percent for you herhesmesr. waiting is a job that idiots like you make difficult. you’re not a king you’re a person eating in a restaurant, and just because you don’t get respect on the regular doesn’t mean I have to make it up to you. If I ever see you in person I will gouge out your eye and skull fuck you and yes this is a direct threat. I’m coming for you chris and nothing can stop me. I’m in college so I won’t have to keep dealing with shitheads like you but make no mistake I won’t forget. by the way WHAT IS THAT STOCK PHOTO EVEN IMPLYING?! It seems like the kid is being rude and everyone is giving the stink eye, the waiter is putting down the food doing his job and has the smallest reaction of the group, my god what are you doing dude? Is this what you had in mind when you started writing? bad blogs and top 20 lists? It’s lazy. lazy writing, lazy reading. My comment is deeper and more self aware than your shit. you suck dude. you are the absolute worst. I hope you get a lark as you look at this comment because if your plan was to infuriate a proud mormon pastor and father of 12 then congrats chris you did it. seriously though I’m coming for you. i’m so coming for you you don’t even know. see ya :)

  • Julius

    oh my god chris, what’s so funny is that the comments to this article are universally bad. They all say the exact same things that I do! That’s so funny! Oh my god do you just feel like a huge piece of shit right now? Are you sitting in your office questioning your life choices because I hope to god you are. I mother fucking hope to joseph smith you are. I bet you want to hentai and shit you piece of shit. if the administrators to this website are reading this I hope you realize how awful this is and I hope you fire chris. i’m considering suicide because of the shitty depth of this post. fuck you chris, fuck you so harrddddd

  • K

    I couldn’t even get to the end of this. You guys are idiots who have clearly never worked in service. Go eat at McDonalds you assholes.

  • http://www.facebook.com/voodoo.curse Kyle Allen Reed

    Everything about this article makes me want to kick you in the genitals. Try working in a restaurant for 6 months…2 months…..no, I bet you wouldn’t last TWO DAYS, you prissy little shitcake.

  • Annonymous

    This is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever read on the internet, maybe you should quit bitching and cook your own food.. Honestly most of this list is stuff your server cannot help, if I don’t tell everyone of my tables my name when I walk up to them I will get fired, and don’t think management does not watch for that stuff. I think it may be time for you to take a break from your little blog and go wait some tables ass hole, it is a whole different ball game from the other side..

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  • sam

    taking a knee is a way to curb lower back pain from bending over to answer your thousand questions about where the steak grew up and if it was treated nicely before it was butchered so you could eat it you asshole

  • adam mizun

    hey I wrote a comment about skullfucking the author that was taken down I’d like it to be put back up.

  • server, a damn good one

    I feel like this person is an idiot and has no right to write an article like this. It seems like they go in to restaurants expecting the server to be a bumbling, lying, forgetful, money hungry piece of trash. My goal every day is for my guests to enjoy themselves and the tip will come as a result of that. What kind of dipshit doesn’t want the server to tell them their name? haha…I don’t have the time or probably the space to write what’s wrong with this “article”.

  • kim

    1. Is usually required by most restaurants.
    2. Is one of the many things to do to increase your tip. There was a study done!
    3. Is annoying.

    4. Water yes…. bread is not an appetizer. If you are hungry now order one!!! Chips and salsa are there to make you order more drinks because of the saltiness and to fill you up faster to get you to leave faster.

    5. This is another one of those proven ways to increase your tip. So is wearing lipstick if you are female!

    6.This shouldn’t happen. The only time it might is if an item needs to be added to the check and the person you asked can’t get it.

    7. once again…proven tip increase. Standing is said to be rude because the server is looking down on you. getting on a child’s level is suppose to make them feel more comfortable………I agree it’s weird.

    8.Psychological trick. I suggest the most expensive item you will skip the cheapest item and pick a mid priced item because they won’t look too expensive after the suggestion.

    9.when you order only drinks the server must tip 10% of the cost to the bartender plus generally 2% to others and you are taking up their real estate to make money. So if you don’t tip for taking up there table and time you literally are making them pay to wait on you……SIT AT THE BAR!

    10.If the server doesn’t have the correct change to give you it takes time away from giving everyone great service to run around looking for it. Also bad tippers don’t like servers to bring their bad tips back to the table and let their date or others at the table find out what a cheapskate they are. Then they complain because the server has embarrassed them!!
    11. I understand this one. but if you need to ask the price you probably shouldn’t order it.
    12.13. 14. shouldn’t happen. But they don’t control how fast your food or drinks are made.

    15.lol i have no response

    16.proven to increase tips

    17. that is annoying

    18.restaurant rule

    19.Honestly it would seem odd to just ask if you would like a coke when you already have A coke. Or its you 10th or you are done with your dinner.

    20.If you had everything you needed it was silent service. you may not have noticed but they were paying attention to you. If you went without a drink the entire time your sever sucked.
    The author of this very obviously never worked in food service. If they had they would know most of these are required or suggested by the employer and the server has little control over it. Others are because when a server is at the mercy of the person they are waiting on to tip them so they can pay their bills every little suggestion to help will be used.

  • gbfdkm

    Amazed that you haven’t taken this horrid “article” down yet.

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  • Secret_chef

    Anyone who doesn’t understand or empathize with this article really should not be in the service industry. Just because you hate your job does not give you the right to do it poorly. Great customer service is what makes a restaurant experience stand out – and really seperates the best establishments from the rest. The fact that you dislike this article only shows how disrespectful a server you are. Before you start bashing my post understand that:
    1. I am I the industry for over 20 years- prior to owning I was a server for many years
    2. I ALWAYS tip at least 20% no matter how poor my service is.
    3. I do agree that many items on this list are required by management – but then again, I believe that this article was directed toward management as well as the serving community.

  • Sam

    Sounds like whoever wrote this article despises going out to eat. I hope his/her freezer is filled with TV dinners so the restaurant industry doesn’t have to deal w/this individual. I do however agree with the squatting at the table. Frustrated, little ogre.

  • Chris

    I wish the author of this would work in a restaurant for at least a week. I have done every front of the house position over the last ten years. Being a strangers door mat is not easily done with grace. Yet we still manage to find a way to day in and out.

    The establishments do not pay the servers even enough to cover taxes. Only even a portion of the money tipped to your server is even taken home with them after tip outs and credit card fees.

    If you cannot deal with basic human interaction while dining out, please learn to cook.

    There is a difference between server and servant.

  • Tiredofserving

    Any chain restaurant makes their servers introduce themselves by name
    I worked at a 5 star restaurant where it was MANDATORY for the server to go over to the the table and fold the napkin when someone got up

    Writing an article without doing all of the research is stupid

  • RestauRANTeur

    Most of the time when someone tells you to “wait for your waiter” it’s because they’re the HOST. Use your eyes. I know it’s a restaurant and you came here not to think, but just for a moment notice the person who sat you and gave you menus. Did you see them as you walked in the door? Were they standing at a little desk (in the biz we call it the “host stand”)? Are they maybe dressed differently than the waiters and waitresses, whom you can now see all around you, since you’re at your table? Did you maybe even see them answer the phone or move reservations around on a computer screen? Guess what? That’s a host! As in, not your server. As in if they were your server they wouldn’t have time to stand behind a desk and answer the phone and take reservations, because they’d be SERVING TABLES. As in, they can’t get your gluten free Mango margarita with no ice and extra mango puree because they already have a job, doing what they just did for you, except for OTHER PEOPLE, while taking reservations, refilling water glasses, bussing tables, wiping your fingerprints off the glass door, and cleaning up the trash idiots leave strewn around the waiting area even though there’s a trash can right there. Don’t like this facet of the way nearly every restaurant works? Take it up with a MANAGER. Tell them you’d like the hosts to take drink and appetizer orders. But don’t blame it on your server or your host. I guarantee you it’s a very rare restaurant where either of them had ANY input whatsoever into how things are run on a day to day basis.

  • James

    To be fair, customers are more annoying than waiters. Having actually worked in a restaurant there is nothing shittier than getting stiffed completely by a large party with a tab over $100. And they take up potential earnings (ie, the table space(s)) for a long time. Not to mention people are way to picky and complain about everything. Its not an easy job, wish more could relate to it. I mean you pay for the food with the bill, not the service. The tip pays the service. People don’t seem to understand that.

    • James

      We live in such an entitlement-based society. All of the sudden people ‘deserve’ the best and everything they want. Nobody deserves anything. Ever. We must work hard at what we want. We’re weak as a people and no longer hearty. We want more, more, more. Where’d the spartan mentality go?

  • Joshua Walker

    Maybe you shouldn’t go to a resturant with the intention of expecting to get a drink, food, and everything your heart desires in record breaking time so you can hurry up and get out of there because you feel as awkward as accidentally ordering a drink at a gay bar and realizing afterward you were in the wrong place. If you have to ask the server how much the lobster costs, you can’t afford it. You are already going to find any reason to complain about my service, if I do the things you ask or don’t do the things you ask it’ll be the exact opposite of what you wanted because your real reason for complaining is because you are cheap, bitter, and sad. If you want a quick meal, make it yourself, then nobody introduces themselves, touches your plate, takes your food away, or does any of the things you find to be so terrible. Honestly it would be best if you avoid social situations all together as you clearly don’t have the communication skills necessary to function. I wouldn’t be suprised if you have no job, weigh 400lbs, collect disability because being “too fat” is actually a disability, and complain because you are un-attractive, lonely, poor, and sad. Your only option is to eat as much food as fast as possible to fill the empty void of sadness you feel while making everyone feel as misable as you are because if you can’t be happy nobody should be. I really really hope that you don’t breed because society would be much better off if you didn’t.

  • Parysa

    1: As others have pointed out, I have to do that.
    2: Don’t touch me and I won’t touch you and we’ll all get along just fine.
    3: I have to do that.
    4: I try not to do that, but sometimes I have guests that I’m trying to fix something for or my manager has grabbed me or the kitchen has a question or I got double or triple sat and am trying to go in order so I don’t get mixed up and bring you table 302′s ranch and give them your ketchup. And yeah, writing things down is great, but we’re given one order card per table and there’s not always room to write down “lemons and A1 sauce and napkins and a spoon.”
    5: I have to.
    6: I’m busy with my guests. Sometimes I don’t have time to bring you wet naps because I’m trying to figure out why there are no biscuits made so I don’t get yelled at by one of my guests.
    7: If you want me to stand straight, speak where I can hear you.
    8: I have to. It feels just as pushy to me as it does to you, trust me.
    9: Go sit at the bar. I have a limited number of tables and at that point, you’re messing with my money.
    10: We’re not allowed to, so non-issue. Agree it’s rude.
    11: Agree
    12: Agree
    13: I can usually tell people who see me as a human being rather than a robot from people who are so afraid of having to give a decent tip that they justify not paying me for services offered by dehumanizing me and I don’t bother with the latter. You’re also getting the bare minimum of service from me bc I’m not going out of my way for you to treat me as sub-human.
    14: 90% of problems in my restaurant ARE because of the kitchen. Have you ever worked in a restaurant? Most of the kitchen staff are STONED off their asses. Every single other person has to do their job right in order for me to do mine. If there aren’t any clean glasses or silverware, you can’t eat. If the kitchen backs up, your food will be late, etc.
    15: N/A
    16: Hearts and smileys, a bit much. But a table I really enjoy serving is going to get something that shows that I appreciated them.
    17: Agree
    18: Eww
    19: Semantics. If I refill your cup directly I say “more” and if I have to bring a new glass, I say “another.”
    20: Agree, but there are things we have to do in addition to taking care of you like getting ice, warning the cook not to let your food touch shellfish so you don’t die, figuring out if something has peanut oil in it so you don’t die, wait for the manager to get free to break the hundred we were given on a $15 order, waiting for the manager to split your check up (many places have it set up that we can’t do that ourselves), rolling silverware because we’re almost out, etc. We’d love to be free to wait on you and only you and stand quietly behind you while you eat on the off chance you want to bitch that we don’t have zucchini when it’s out of season, but we have other things to do. If that’s what you want, go to a higher end restaurant or hire a butler and a cook.

  • Maria

    This is honestly one of the stupidest articles I’ve read in my life. Are you truly so spoiled, ungrateful, and self important that the other human beings waiting on you, bringing you food that is available in abundance in this very lucky country of ours, annoy you so bad by doing things that are usually seen as thoughtful, and are sometimes mandatory, that you have thought to complain about it to a public audience? It seems that nearly everything annoys you. Your glass-is-less-than-half-full, nitpicking mentality is an illustration of modern Americans completely forgetting to be grateful for the luxuries they’ve been afforded.

  • Anon

    The most brattiest, egotistic and annoying article ever. Go eat at fast food restaurants! You won’t have to deal with “annoying servers” and the service is super fast! No one will be up selling you and you can save your damn money. EASY.

  • asdfg

    What a whiner lmfao.

  • lucy l.

    Haha. This is honestly one of the worst things I have ever read, but (even as a waitress who greets myself with my name and asks my guests how they’re doing) I find it hard to be offended by this article seeing as the author of this article is clearly the saddest most pathetic anti-social douche bag to ever grace this earth. Clearly you just don’t like going out at all so why don’t you just spare the rest of us your foul negativity and stay home with your girlfriend who would clearly rather date your waiter, lord knows she’d probably be better off.

  • Toofer

    Who ever wrote this article is one of the biggest scumbags in existence.

  • fighjuufgvhgf

    Hahaha! You really are a nasty bitch ass. I hope someone beats the shit out of you and leaves you without any teeth so you have to buy dentures otherwise spend the rest of your life sucking liquid out of a straw. Oh yeah, you stupid bitch, you do realize that you’re only one customer among many, right? :-D Dumbass. No one needs to listen to you although you have proven that you have control issues. Now, do everyone a favor here and rot

  • Lizard

    This article is absolutely awful, and clearly written by somebody who has never waited tables. Many of the things they mention are either 1) Entirely personal preferences (such as the kneeling by the table), or 2) Completely out of the server’s control (such as having chips and salsa or bread to start).

    If you have this large of a list of irritating things to think about every time you go out to eat, I suggest you stick with fast food or IHOP, where the service will be subpar anyway, and you’ll have plenty to complain about.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brie.mcreynolds Briana McReynolds

    How can you be so rude and misinformed? I’d say 15/20 of the complaints you made were things that server do because our boss REQUIRES us to. We are required to introduce ourselves. We are required to upsell. We are required to kneel down and make eye contact. We are required to hide the price unless you ask. We KNOW how annoying it is to people, but we lose our jobs if we do not look like fanatics of the company. For a lot of the complaints you made, there are just as many guests that would be upset if we DIDN’T do them… like share about our lives, or kneel down and talk directly to children. Have you ever worked at a restaurant? What you said is hurtful to the servers around the world who try their hardest and whose rent money is at the guests’ mercy. You’ll complain about servers, but you keep going to restaurants, eh? Blame the companies, not us.