Eat This Tumblr: Food That My Roommate Paul Didn’t Finish

And the author's very angry responses.

  • "paul did you know that my favorite fruit is pineapple? i assume you didn’t because if you did know that my favorite fruit is pineapple you wouldn’t have left this tasty chilled pineapple drink out where i would have no fucking choice but to watch as it slowly became room temperature and then became a disgusting mockery of what it once was FUCK YOU PAUL YOU MOTHER FUCKER I LOVE PINEAPPLE IF YOU ARE GOING TO WASTE THE LAST 37 PERCENT OF THAT PINEAPPLE DRINK AT LEAST WASTE IT IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN ROOM NOT OUT IN THE OPEN WHERE I HAVE TO FUCKING WATCH AS GSUGSJUDIASGKGJHAJSFHFKHJSFHAFKBSNFB<FSD ASNAMMIT PAULLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • "okay paul i am trying to make some sense of this one… so you sat down on the couch with your blueberry bagel and your strawberry philadelphia cream cheese and you almost finished your bagel, paul, but then fast forward some amount of time and we are left with a bagel impaled in the cream cheese like some kind of fucking bagel excalibur and that cream cheese is just evaporating into the air because our apartment is fucking hot and we are inhaling rotten cheese and you are probably somewhere else with not a worry in your head and what the fuck is that ipod charger adaptor doing out next to the cream cheese paul what the fuck paul IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO PUT AWAY YOUR DISGUSTING FRUIT FLAVORED CHEESE AND THAT IPOD CHARGER???!??!"
  • "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! COME ONE COME ALL, STEP RIGHT UP AND SEE WITH YOUR OWN TWO EYES THE WORK OF A TRUE MASTER! BEHOLD, THE HARD BOILED EGG THAT MY ROOMMATE PAUL COULDN’T FINISH AND THEN LEFT OUT ON THE COUNTER AS IF TO SAY “FUCK YOU" TO ME!!"
  • "paul paul paul i need to ask you a question. do i have a sign on my back that says “i love it when my roommate paul leaves food out!"? because i can’t think of any mother fucking reason for why you would continue to leave out your unfinished food and by g-d paul that MILK!!!! you left the milk out AND IT DIDN’T EVEN HAVE THE FUCKING CAP ON!!!!  OH AND PS: THAT INDIAN FOOD WAS FUCKING STINKY"
  • "paul i give you some credit for finishing all of your milk but come on paul you really dropped the fucking ball on that salad. yeah salad is cheap and i don’t care what you do with your money but if you like throwing away money so much by not finishing your salads than may i also suggest THROWING AWAY THE SALAD YOU DONT EAT BEFORE IT ROTS AND OUR MUTUAL LIVING SPACE IS CRAWLING WITH BEETLES AND COCKROACHES G-D FUCKIN DAMN IT PAUL"
  • "i think this was chicken noodle soup… you couldn’t finish this? are you serious, paul? how are you going to leave a little bit of chicken noodle soup out on the table like that? if you’re gonna save it put it in the fridge, if not put it in the sink!!! jesus christ, paul you have GOT to be KIDDING me"

t Eat This Tumblr: Food That My Roommate Paul Didnt Finish

Sometimes, life (or more accurately, Craigslist) is not kind and sticks us with a Shitty Roommate. You know the one: never does the dishes, contributes half the trash but never takes it out, smells kinda funky. But the anonymous hero behind Food That My Roommate Paul Didn’t Finish has opted to make lemons into lemonade and turn their crappy experience into a hilarious blog.

The idea is simple: Paul likes to eat a lot of food. He also likes to not finish said food and leave it out in the open to decompose at its leisure. Unidentified Roommate finds this habit both inexplicable and disgusting. So instead of—or possibly in addition to—confronting Paul, he or she just posts pictures of Paul’s food, along with expletive-ridden rants directed at Paul and his wasteful/unsanitary lifestyle. The result is glorious.

Click through the gallery for the full rundown of Paul’s unfinished meals. 

All photos and captions courtesy of Food That My Roommate Paul Didn’t Finish.

  • Ginger’smom

    Funny stuff!

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