20 Fruits and Vegetables That Look Suspiciously Sexual

Because we laugh when we see them at the farmers market.

  • Who's excited for eggplant parm! (Photo via
  • File under "mature." (Photo via
  • "It's not the size, it's the flavor." (Photo:
  • Who wants to help stuff the bell pepper? (Photo:
  • Is it weird to be turned on? (Photo via
  • Sort of the Manneken Pis of nature, wouldn't you say? (Photo via
  • That's just ridiculous. (Photo via
  • Nature is jokes. (Photo via
  • This is where Nelly got the term "apple bottom." (Photo:
  • "Your breasteses is my breakfast." - Jay Z. (Photo via
  • No way. (Photo via
  • This is how you get fired from Whole Foods. (Photo via
  • Even fruits you've never heard of can look like penises. (Photo:
  • If Bugs Bunny had chewed on this, we'd all be scarred for life. (Photo via
  • Does it twerk? (Photo via
  • This is how surgeon's demonstrate the dangers of butt implants. (Photo:
  • Lulz. (Photo via
  • Caveat emptor: Don't do this at a youth soccer game. (Photo via
  • That's just savage. (Photo:

Have you ever been happily perusing the produce stand, feeling virtuous about your healthy and sustainable choices, when suddenly you see a winter squash that looks like a giant boner? You start to giggle, then the giggle swells to a guffaw, and by the time you’ve Instagrammed the cheeky veg and hashtagged it #bonerfruit, you have to sit down for several minutes on a park bench to recover.

Without ruffling any Creationist myths, let’s say this: Nature has given us a bounty of fruits and vegetables, and it’s also given us hilarious genitals, so it only makes sense that once in a while it would prank us with some phallic, vulvic, and even butt-like produce.

For its recent Gender issue, food magĀ Lucky Peach played on the sexual connotations of different foods with two covers (see below), one “for men” (featuring penis-shaped carrots and popsicles) and one “for women” (complete with figs, cherries, and other foods redolent of the female anatomy). But amusingly shaped courgettesĀ and naughty strawberries have been making farmers laugh for centuries. And now, with the power of the Internet, a potato that looks like a pair of knockers can go viral, bringing joy to the world before it nourishes some lucky diner who gets to eat a baked potato that looks like boobs.

Here, we celebrate some of the most egregiously sexual fruits and vegetables in recent history. Click through the gallery to see an erect eggplant, a buttocks-like tomato, and other XXX fruits and vegetables that have slipped into nature’s bounty, like a naked lady spliced into a Disney reel.