9 Foods We’re Too Immature to Eat

Some things just sound wrong, even if they taste so good.

  • Click through the gallery to see the food names that make us giggle like schoolchildren...
  • NUN'S FARTSWhat is it: Nobody is cutting the cheese here. Light and airy—just like a nun's ethereal flatulence, one suspects—these "farts" are really just little, delicious deep-fried beignets. They are often called nun's puffs, which sounds a bit less rude. Let's go with that. (Photo:
  • RUMP ROASTWhat is it: The rump, known commonly as the eye of round roast, is from exactly where you'd expect—the hind quarters of a cow. Contrary to hypersexed imagination, the cut is rather tough and requires a deft hand to slow-cook it to brilliance. If you were enterprising, you could probably spin the Lawry's concept into a bootlicious version of Hooters with this dish. (Photo:
  • ROCKY MOUNTAIN OYSTERSWhat it is: Bull's calf testicles, often served deep-fried. Sometimes called "swinging beef," the dish is popular in America's prarie and if you can get beyond the idea of stuffing balls in your mouth, you'll find it's essentially a richer flavored chicken fried steak. (Photo: Wynkoop Brewing Co.)
What it is: From Southern Pecan Nut Brown Ales to Walnut Dunkels,
  • COQ AU VINWhat it is:  The good news about giggling at this food is that you at least know how to pronounce French words. But the rustic classic, featuring chicken braised with wine, lardons, and mushrooms, should really elicit hunger pangs rather than fits of laughter. (Photo:
  • PANDANUSWhat is it: Some people call this stuff "screw pine," which isn't any better than pandanus, but at least it suggests that you're eating  something from a tree. The juice from the leaves is a very common flavoring in Thai cooking, helping to boost the flavor of coconut milk and other ingredients. As Pok Pok, chef Andy Ricker uses it in the water, to add a slightly earthy character to it. So say "panda anus" over and over until you don't think it's funny anymore; then, you can focus on eating more delicious Thai food. (Photo:
  • SPOTTED DICKWhat is it: No, this is not a revolting Edwardian STD. It is instead steamed suet—basically hard beef or mutton fat cut from the animal's loins—pudding made with raisins and commonly topped with custard. Traditional British cuisine is full of foods with names nearly as dubious, but spotted dick is certainly the most chuckle-worthy. Done well, it bolsters a meager main course and celebrates everything right with Anglo desserts. (Photo:
  • POUND CAKEWhat is it: Sure, if you read it as a command it sounds like some sort of porno follow-up to American Pie, but really it's one of the most innocent sweets in the world, made with flour, butter, eggs, and sugar, and often flavored with lemon or vanilla. (Photo:
  • CREAM PIEWhat is it: If you're looking for proof of how pornography has eroded American values, just look as the giggling groups of teenage boys (and us) who cry with laughter ever time a cream pie shows up on a menu. But pies filled with cream or custard—like Boston cream pie or banana cream pie—are American classics, so next time you're at a diner put on your best poker face and order one. You can snicker when you get back to the car. (Photo:

Around these parts we often think of ourselves as epicures, gourmands, feinschmecker, and all the other synonyms we can find online to mark our status as arbiters of good taste. We talk to game-changing chefs, explore food history, and try to foster thoughtful debate about how and what we eat. But then we go to a restaurant, see a coconut cream pie or Boston butt on the menu, and devolve into fits of laughter, proving that at the end of the day we are still just as juvenile as we were in 1998.

Do you suffer from the same problem? Click through the gallery above to see if you giggle at foods that sound dirty, but really aren’t. Hopefully you’re a little more mature.


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