10 Ways to Make Your Server Hate You at a Restaurant

Don't be the diner from hell—all you have to do is avoid these common missteps.

Written by Hannah Norwick | |   Comments

servers_lead

Photo: Fight for Your Right (Revisited)

This is a response to The 20 Most Annoying Things Servers Do at Restaurants.

Being a server is a special kind of job. It requires a lot of patience and a lot of attention to detail, because at the end of the day, you are dealing with people more than you are food, and people can be really, really stupid.

Keep in mind that while you are treating your server like your servant, this person might have a master’s degree and play music in a band you love, and maybe he or she is your neighbor, too. In other words, servers are part of the human race. So show them some respect, or suffer the consequences of being called names behind your back.

For whatever reason, people who are lovely and normal in the real world sometimes transform into enormous douches upon entering a restaurant. Servers watch fights unfold and relationships unravel over the course of a super hectic, stressful night of service. Good servers are literally there to help diners have a good night, eat good food, and enjoy themselves. Try to remember this while you are bitching about your under-foamy cappuccino and how you wish the chicken parmesan could be prepared unbreaded.

Here are ten things that drive servers absolutely insane. Please control yourself.

Click to start the list
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  • lovin

    You didn’t mention the hot tea service. Or the “are they killing the cow” comments when their well done steak takes five minutes. And again, the hot tea service.

    • Joshua Walker

      What the heck are you talking about by hot tea service? I’ve not seen this happening in resturants other than Asian resturants, in which case, don’t put hot tea on the menu unless you are prepared to serve…. wait for it…. hot tea!

  • lovin

    Demand a table that doesn’t exist in the restaurant. Then insist that you sat there last week. IE, a booth for 8.

  • Joshua Walker

    Physically Beckoning a Server to Come to your Table and use ridiculous
    hand gestures.

    I can totally understand how this is definitely not cool and
    agree it shouldn’t be done. Servers should also know that if I have to sit and
    stare at a plate that we’ve clearly not touched for 15 minutes only to not have
    a server come by and ask for dessert, or offer a check, I’m now impatient
    beyond caring about manners.

    Act Weird about Water

    I agree, this is dumb, these people must be socially
    challenged, or disappointed there’s no VOSS on the menu, either way, water is
    water.

    Say you are ready when you’re not.

    Completely justifiable complaint, especially when you aren’t
    the only table in the restaurant. Conversely, if my order is more likely to be
    botched because I didn’t meet your time expectations you’re vindictive and my
    tip will reflect my disappointment.

    Order thinks that aren’t on the menu or are no longer available.

    It should be acceptable to ask if you have something even if
    it’s not on the menu, not everything is on the menu at every restaurant,
    however I agree one should not assume they can order something without asking
    about availability, if not available, move on.

    Order things one at a time.

    Yeah this is just a jerk move. I have asked for ranch and
    suddenly noticed that your ketchup bottle which is conveniently colored red but
    really has no ketchup in it whatsoever needs replacement, but continually
    ordering things one after another is going to get you a little extra saliva
    with your next condiment. It’s in everyone’s best interest not to piss of the
    Server.

    Bring your kids out to eat

    It shouldn’t be annoying to a server that I bring my kids out to eat, however they should have manners and remain seated unless escorted by a parent/older sibling to the bathroom. People who don’t parent their children should continue going to Chucky Cheese’s.

    Demonstrate Horrible Table Manners

    Napkins in the lap, great I get it, except for when my 5″ by 5″ paper napkin is wrapped tightly around silverware and does nothing but roll up into a ball when unrolled. Very few restaurants use cloth napkins anymore even the more expensive ones. If you clear my plates when we are done eating not only will you get a great tip, but we won’t feel the need to stack them into the “Leaning Tower of Pisa”. Nothing is less appealing than staring at a plate of mostly eaten food for 10 minutes while you print my check and drop it off in front of me only to leave me with all my
    plates and food intact, staring back at me, because you’d rather let the bus boy handle that.

    Refuse to offer a helping hand

    I’ll meet you in the middle here, I’ll be happy to offer you
    a helping hand when trying to place food on the table, as long as you promise
    not to “auction” the plates like e-bay. “Who had the Veal?”
    It’s really annoying when a runner has no idea who had what, or when the Server
    is too lazy to enter orders into the system in such a way that they know who
    should have what orders.

    Ordering at the bar then disappear before your drink is ready.

    I can understand how this can be infuriating, it’s equally infuriating when you order a drink and 15 minutes later you are still waiting. Here’s a thought, don’t take my order if you aren’t ready to serve me. I know it can be busy behind the bar, but how hard is it really to pour some vodka in a glass and serve it to me. It’s not rocket science. Also, if you are a bartender, you should be able to actually tend bar. If I order a drink you should know how to make it or have a bartenders bible. If you don’t know what a Cape Cod is, get the FUNK out from behind the bar, you’re a server not a bartender.

    Fail to Tip on the entire bill.

    Provided the server did a great job, it’s not uncommon for me to tip 30% for fantastic service. Do your job and I will reward you with great tips, I know you work hard and receive almost non-existent hourly wages. If we have a party of 6-8 or more and you put the “automatic gratuity of 18%” for parties on my check, expect to get exactly 18% and nothing more, since you left me no choice I left you nothing extra.

  • Joshua Walker

    Physically Beckoning a Server to Come to your Table and use ridiculous
    hand gestures.

    I can totally understand how this is definitely not cool and
    agree it shouldn’t be done. Servers should also know that if I have to sit and
    stare at a plate that we’ve clearly not touched for 15 minutes only to not have
    a server come by and ask for dessert, or offer a check, I’m now impatient
    beyond caring about manners.

    Act Weird about Water

    I agree, this is dumb, these people must be socially
    challenged, or disappointed there’s no VOSS on the menu, either way, water is
    water.

    Say you are ready when you’re not.

    Completely justifiable complaint, especially when you aren’t
    the only table in the restaurant. Conversely, if my order is more likely to be
    botched because I didn’t meet your time expectations you’re vindictive and my
    tip will reflect my disappointment.

    Order things that aren’t on the menu or are no longer available.

    It should be acceptable to ask if you have something even if
    it’s not on the menu, not everything is on the menu at every restaurant,
    however I agree one should not assume they can order something without asking
    about availability, if not available, move on.

    Order things one at a time.

    Yeah this is just a jerk move. I have asked for ranch and
    suddenly noticed that your ketchup bottle which is conveniently colored red but
    really has no ketchup in it whatsoever needs replacement, but continually
    ordering things one after another is going to get you a little extra saliva
    with your next condiment. It’s in everyone’s best interest not to piss of the
    Server.

    Bring your kids out to eat

    It shouldn’t be annoying to a server that I bring my kids out to eat, however they should have manners and remain seated unless escorted by a parent/older sibling to the bathroom. People who don’t parent their children should continue going to Chucky Cheese’s.

    Demonstrate Horrible Table Manners

    Napkins in the lap, great I get it, except for when my 5″ by 5″ paper napkin is wrapped tightly around silverware and does nothing but roll up into a ball when unrolled. Very few restaurants use cloth napkins anymore even the more expensive ones. If you clear my plates when we are done eating not only will you get a great tip, but we won’t feel the need to stack them into the “Leaning Tower of Pisa”. Nothing is less appealing than staring at a plate of mostly eaten food for 10 minutes while you print my check and drop it off in front of me only to leave me with all my
    plates and food intact, staring back at me, because you’d rather let the bus boy handle that.

    Refuse to offer a helping hand

    I’ll meet you in the middle here, I’ll be happy to offer you
    a helping hand when trying to place food on the table, as long as you promise
    not to “auction” the plates like e-bay. “Who had the Veal?”
    It’s really annoying when a runner has no idea who had what, or when the Server
    is too lazy to enter orders into the system in such a way that they know who
    should have what orders.

    Ordering at the bar then disappear before your drink is ready.

    I can understand how this can be infuriating, it’s equally infuriating when you order a drink and 15 minutes later you are still waiting. Here’s a thought, don’t take my order if you aren’t ready to serve me. I know it can be busy behind the bar, but how hard is it really to pour some vodka in a glass and serve it to me. It’s not rocket science. Also, if you are a bartender, you should be able to actually tend bar. If I order a drink you should know how to make it or have a bartenders bible. If you don’t know what a Cape Cod is, get the FUNK out from behind the bar, you’re a server not a bartender.

    Fail to Tip on the entire bill.

    Provided the server did a great job, it’s not uncommon for me to tip 30% for fantastic service. Do your job and I will reward you with great tips, I know you work hard and receive almost non-existent hourly wages. If we have a party of 6-8 or more and you put the “automatic gratuity of 18%” for parties on my check, expect to get exactly 18% and nothing more, since you left me no choice I left you nothing extra.

  • Kool Nerd

    Hmm.. Is it just me or is rule 7 & 8 are kinda contradicting themselves? I will admit I am guilty of stacking plates cause I thought I was being helping and making it easier for the server to clear the table. So by these rules you don’t want us to help clear the plates but you want us to help you place the hot plates on the tables which we might get burnt cause we dont have dish towel like most servers do when they are handling the plates, especially when we are supposed to keep our napkins on our laps. For the record I never put my napkin on my finished plate.

  • Renee

    This whole post smacks of an entitled, bratty, I-dont-like-my-job-so-you-should-have-to-suffer-too mentality. Many of these “annoyances” are the results of FUNKING poor service. To complain about problems you cause is a demonstration of a complete lack of self-awareness. This person clearly doesn’t think they should have to work for a living. S/he also seems to think that its the customers’ responsibility to help them earn tips by doing their job, but only when it’s convenient for them (ie, taking plates when it gets “hard” but not stacking them when the server doesn’t bus the table). Working in a restaurant is a completely customer-centric job. If you don’t like that or know appropriately how to do that, GET ANOTHER FUNKING JOB.