It’s Official: Red Wine and Chocolate Are Bad For You Again

Get ready to be bummed out: Science says there are no health benefits and you're just making yourself fat.

Photo: Flickr.com/yelp

Photo: Flickr.com/yelp

Meddling, party-pooping researchers at Johns Hopkins University have debunked the myth that red wine and chocolate have health benefits—thereby uninviting themselves from any dinner parties in the near future.

According to the Independent,

“The anti-oxidant resveratrol, found in dark chocolate, red wine, and berries, has no significant impact on life-span, heart disease or cancer, say scientists.”

What’s more, scientists are saying that resveratrol ”cannot explain the ‘French Paradox’—the low incidence of heart disease suffered by people in France despite a diet laden with cholesterol and saturated fat.” So put down that copy of Why French Women Don’t Get Fat and quit washing down bars of chocolate with jugs of red wine.

A 2010 video about the magical snake oil on the Dr. Oz website even suggested that resveratrol could help prevent dementia and diabetes. Lies, ALL LIES.

crying under desk Its Official: Red Wine and Chocolate Are Bad For You Again

[via The Independent]

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  • Dude

    F**k you, science

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