R. Kelly Is the New Cookie Monster

And more awesome stuff other people did on the Internet today.

Photos: Getty Images

Photos: Getty Images

Kelz did it again: His new song, “Cookie,” is another triumph of ridiculous R&B euphemism. Is he singing about eating actual Oreos, or incredibly graphic sexual acts? Definitely the latter, which is why you should drop everything and listen to it now.

With that as your soundtrack, here’s some other stuff worth checking out from today:

A historical look at why we eat popcorn at the movies. [Smithsonian]

Amy Poehler penned a funny personal essay for the New Yorker about working at a scoop shop as a youth. [New Yorker]

McSweeney’s considers New York’s best lines, including the one for Cronuts. [McSweeney's]

Apparently, going on a food tour with Calvin Trillin is f**king awesome. [Grubstreet]

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