What would you do if your classmate told you to put down your tuna sandwich, and more or less smacked that bag of chips out of your hand? Yesterday morning, 72 students in an Administrative Law class at Osgoode Hall Law School in Toronto received a group email from an unnamed student who said he would no longer put up with “collective behavior [that] seems to be getting worse each class.”
The student is referring to the snacking habits of his classmates. He advises them on food selection, saying that they would be wise to choose “odour-free, noise-free dishes” and must steer clear of certain snacks like tuna sandwiches, deli sandwiches, apples (and other crunchy fruit), and chips.
The letter is a perfect example of why you should read emails twice before sending them. Here are highlights from the insane—but also kind of eloquent—letter, which starts “To my fellow Adminstrative Law students”:
- I get it, that home life must have been supremely difficult, and the public school system was so lacking that no one taught you how to behave in public, and, specifically, how to eat in public. And how not to.
- To put it politely, your constant eating/chewing/crunching/the SMELL is wholly distracting the rest of us from learning. If I weren’t being polite, I would say it’s fucking annoying and disrespectful and shows a complete lack of judgement and poor taste.
- I have a great amount of sympathy for those of us in this class who are more fundamentally challenged. The ones who seem to suffer from a complete lack of etiquette and common courtesy as well as from peculiar eating disorders.
- For those of you with slightly less chronic eating disorders, I beseech you to please wait out the first hour before unfolding and then munching away like a horse on your chosen dish, which turns our classroom into a stable.
- You might also learn something about administrative law if you paid attention to what is being taught, instead of what is in your sandwich.
Let’s all get jars of kimchi to place under this student/horrible human being’s chair