Kitchen Tools for Men Who Are Trying to Compensate for Something

No kitchen is complete without a pizza-cutting power saw.

  • The Pizza Boss 3000 is undoubtedly the most badass, hardcore pizza cutter on the market. Available online at
  • A must-have for any manimal's morning feeding time. Available online at
  • The art of cooking has a long, storied past of jedi warrior and ninja chefs taking their swift sword skills to the griddle. Thus, it's only fitting that Combat Kitchenware has created the Fighting Man's Frying Pan to make every swordsmith feel at home behind the grill. Available online at
  • Any rugged man's work shed isn't truly complete without a mini-fridge of cold, hard brews. And any tool shed mini-fridge filled with cold, hard brews isn't truly complete without a Beer Hammer Bottle Opener. Available at
  • You never really know when you're going to have to switch from eating a nice meal with the fam to tightening up some nuts and bolts, and that's exactly when this stainless steel Silverware/Wrenchware set comes through in the clutch. Available at
  • Seriously, there is no better, more effective way to cut your children's birthday cake. Available at
  • Pound out that meat with the no-holds-barred brass knuckles meat tenderizer. This tool is also great for anger management. Available at
  • Any good American Boy Scout knows the motto, "Be prepared." And there's absolutely no better way for a BBQ hungry man scout to stay prepared then by donning this Tactical BBQ Apron. Available at
  • No mancave kitchen is complete without a sign that makes everyone aware of the dangerous, daring specimen manning the stove. Available at
  • Power up those engines and put the pedal to the metal while downing espressos. Now possible with Expresso Veloce's V12 Machine, available soon at

A man’s kitchen is a sacred place: a place to relax, create, and feast on nachos, poutine, and burgers. And any man who deeply enjoys the culinary arts knows that the tools and gadgets in his kitchen are integral to the outcome of the food he’s preparing. We want to help men across the globe enhance their cooking—along with their collection of kitchen gadgets—so we’ve prepared a list of the most manly, ridiculous, and “effective” kitchen tools on the market. Between the sword-handled frying pan, the Pizza Boss 3000 (a circular power saw for cutting pizza) and a V12 Expresso pressing engine, there’s enough ridiculously fantastic kitchen appliances in this slideshow to make up for everything else that’s unsatisfactory in your life.

Click through the gallery above to view the most absurd kitchen appliances out there that cater to real men.

Newsletter

Feed your inbox.

Subscribe